Reliving the KIDS issue

[Britney]

You are in a very tough situation as being this girls step mother. I would steer clear of you having anything to do with any decisions of her joining the service in any way. If it worked out you would be a saint, if it didn't it could fall on you. How ever there is a lot of good advice here for you. You can not allow her to cause you this much frustration and uncomfortable living conditions. I think that she is lucky to have you and your husband. However she has really no choice. She was given an ultimatum and she did not follow through with it. Was she having problems with the work being to hard for her or is she just a slacker? You can how ever use her mother's situation to your benefit, just try not to rub it in to much or it can bite you. Does she drive? some of the posters said to take her to different places. Does that mean that you are her source of transportation?

 

[debilorrah]

Quote:
We WERE driving her around, but not anymore. I have input in the decisions regarding her, but her father always delivers the news. It is not my child, so I don't do the dirty work. I do holler at her to put her stuff away that she leaves all over the kitchen, but decisions that are potentially life changing come from Ken.

Oh, when she had a job, they didn't give her enough hours so she just quit and hasn't looked since then.

 

[Britney]

O.K as I was posting this my questions were answered. Maybe she can get a job as a nanny or caregiver if she is responsible and patient enough for that. It seems like you need a time out from her and that is in your rights. I would check into jobs that will allow her room and board in exchange for work only if she is responsible enough to fulfill her duties.

 

[saddina]

Quote:
You wanna send her to me for a week?

Well since we refuse to pay for transportation for her...... She gets a $10 bus card, no cash. I even stopped letting her recycle the coke cans. We take all the good food into our room and lock it up. We have made her life what should be a living hell, but it ain't helping.

I thinking it maybe easier for her to listen to someone who's not a parent, you know she's at the age where anyone over 25 is old and mean.

 

[Britney]

Is there any chance that she needs to take antidepressants? Does she sleep late in the day? Maybe there is something going on with her mentally.

 

[debilorrah]

Quote:
That would be up to a doctor, but she refuses to take medication. I am not sure if she has been to doc lately. She doesn't have insurance because she is over 19 and not a full tiem student, so neither of us can carry her.

 

[DuckLady]

I feel for you Deb

.

However you don't want to know my opinion.

 

[bkreugar]

I see this SOO much lately.What has happened/changed in society?I'm 38 and both DH and I started working at 14, and were up and out by19. Seriously what has happened?Is the bar so high/hard now that many young adults just check out?Have they decided it is just much cushier at home.Is it harder to for this generation to start out I don;t know.Are teenagers just coddled too much? I don;t know.I will say this I have a 12 and 7 yr old and I ~think~ you have to make them miserable enough at home to want OUT.That's what is was for DH and I. I too feel for ya!

 

[debilorrah]

Quote:
All my angst may be for nothing - Ken said this morning that she needs to find a new place to live because "this isn't a flop house or a storage unit".

 

[lockedhearts]

Quote:
All my angst may be for nothing - Ken said this morning that she needs to find a new place to live because "this isn't a flop house or a storage unit".

As hard as it would be, you may just have to do a little "Tough Love" kick her out and let her deal with it. She is old enough, heck I was married at 17 and held down a job and went to school.