REMINDER to parents of young ones...

[Cindiloohoo]

Quote:
Hi-jack away!! I was at church.....just catching up. I'd contact Facebook as well! What is she hiding? And why? That is the issue.

 

[cafe]

Quote:
Simple... get the password from her and dont let her touch a computer again for a long time... (and i dont mean a piddley 2 weeks either ...She needs to know that you are SERIOUS)
If her cell has internet service... take the phone away too...
And thats letting her off very easy IMO

I wish it were that simple. If she's done it once she'll do it again and you can't force her to cough up the password. At 16 she can access the Internet from any friends house, any library, any Internet Cafe or other places. The best thing to do is sit with her, look at her FB page and try and come to an agreement about what she posts and pictures she puts up. Tell her you will allow her to have her FB page but you want the password so if she puts up something dangerous you can remove it and explain to her why you are removing but don't abuse the power of the password. I'm condoning her lying, so please do not flame me, I'm trying to give you a way to open a line of communication between you that will help her understand the dangers and why you want to be able to monitor it.

Yeah, you can apply pressure, but I'm not sure how you would force a kid that age to cough up their password and comply when not directly supervised. You really don't want to get your bluff called in a case like that. Much better to negotiate some kind of compromise.

 

[Cindiloohoo]

Quote:
Simple... get the password from her and dont let her touch a computer again for a long time... (and i dont mean a piddley 2 weeks either ...She needs to know that you are SERIOUS)
If her cell has internet service... take the phone away too...
And thats letting her off very easy IMO

I wish it were that simple. If she's done it once she'll do it again and you can't force her to cough up the password. At 16 she can access the Internet from any friends house, any library, any Internet Cafe or other places. The best thing to do is sit with her, look at her FB page and try and come to an agreement about what she posts and pictures she puts up. Tell her you will allow her to have her FB page but you want the password so if she puts up something dangerous you can remove it and explain to her why you are removing but don't abuse the power of the password. I'm condoning her lying, so please do not flame me, I'm trying to give you a way to open a line of communication between you that will help her understand the dangers and why you want to be able to monitor it.

I agree. There WOULD be a one week restriction for lying though in my house, and the kids know this ahead of time. It is how we do things here. They know their consequences beforehand.

 

[girlychick]

Wow!
You can password protect the computer so every 5 minutes the password comes up I suggest changing it wow thats just like...wow

 

[FarmerJamie]

Quote:
I wish it were that simple. If she's done it once she'll do it again and you can't force her to cough up the password. At 16 she can access the Internet from any friends house, any library, any Internet Cafe or other places. The best thing to do is sit with her, look at her FB page and try and come to an agreement about what she posts and pictures she puts up. Tell her you will allow her to have her FB page but you want the password so if she puts up something dangerous you can remove it and explain to her why you are removing but don't abuse the power of the password. I'm condoning her lying, so please do not flame me, I'm trying to give you a way to open a line of communication between you that will help her understand the dangers and why you want to be able to monitor it.

Yeah, you can apply pressure, but I'm not sure how you would force a kid that age to cough up their password and comply when not directly supervised. You really don't want to get your bluff called in a case like that. Much better to negotiate some kind of compromise.

I agree, better to try to gently divert the river rather than trying to block it all at once. I have all my daughters passwords and accounts and she knows to expect a surprise inspection at any time. FB is a big pain, but I insist on being her FB friend, as well as some of her closer friends (the parents have all agreed about us parents "friending" each other's kids). I actually got some dad "creds" when I pointed out to her that one of her friend's recent postings could be misinterpreted in a very negative way. After the "OMG you're right moment", the posting was down in less than 10 minutes.

 

[4boysmom]

We are pretty strict with electronics in general with our boys. They're wanting cell phones so bad because their friends have them, but there is no need for them to have them at their ages. We've tried the DS's, but see attitudes change so quickly, and they just won't stop playing. What is sad, is that there are 3rd and 4th graders at the school that have facebook pages......facebook's policy is 13 and these kids parents have allowed them to lie about their ages to get the pages. They only get on the computer with one of us sitting with them & they do not know the password to the computer. We also don't have cable tv, just what comes over the air & I get dvd's for them so that I can control more what they come in contact with. I know I can't protect them forever, but they're too young to lose what innocence is left in this world.

 

[jen5680]

I just read a book by Terri Blackstock called Predator that was a story all about this! You should find it and make her
read it. It might scare her a little about what could have happened!!

 

[Cindiloohoo]

Quote:
Hmmm, light summer reading program...

May make her do a report and presentation on it too. The "need to know" has arrived with this one. Thanks for the idea!

 

[Mandalina]

God, i am having flashbacks to when I was 15 and thought I was invincible.I was chatting to a 23yr old man who was in the marines and he was able to track my addy thru my home phone number and showed up at my door really late one night drunk, then tried to push my mom out of the way and told her he was taking me to canada to marry him.My mom called the cops, he got arrested and punished for being offbase when he wasnt supposed to be and never had to hear from the creep again.it is scary as heck how easy it is to find where people are, exp when they give up all their info.

Cindiloohoo, you are a true rockstar and that girl is dang lucky to have you.

 

[Cindiloohoo]

Quote:
As my husband so eloquently puts it..."even a blind squirrel gets a nut sometimes." Count your blessings!