Roo wants to rehome himself,, how can I change his mind?

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Dear Nugget,
I hear you want to run away. I hope you will decide not to. You may not be the only man of the house, but you ARE the bestest and most favorite ( but shhh, don't tell the others).
You have made some pretty heavy demands. Your number 1 demand is for more hens . Every guy THINKS he wants more women, but look at the down side- more hens would mean more chances of being henpecked. The other roosters would totally laugh you down.
Which brings us to demand number 2. Sorry dude, but if there were less roosters, then you'd be less appealing. Right now, the hens and the humans have something to compare you to. Which makes you look great. Do you really want to chnace that?
Now, the dish bottle thing..... That should be something you keep to yourself. For example, I like Neil Diamond- something I'd never tell anyone because they would totally give me the eye rolling. The fact that your human caretakers even let you have a detergent bottle without taking you to therapy should be enough to keep you happy.
There can not be a roost on top of the coop. The only roosters on the top of the coop are the metal ones that spin in the wind. I don't think you spinning in the wind would be a good thing. Again, think of how hard the other roosters would laugh at you falling off the roof after spinning...

Now the curly fries sound good. There is only one problem- they are fattening, and artery clogging. If you were to have curly fries for lunch every day, it wouldn't be too long before you were totally fat. Then, it woudn't be just the other roosters laughing. The hens would also. You'd be too fat to uh.. play with your bottle.

I hope you will stay. Just remember, the grass isn't greener on the other side. Well, Ok, maybe it IS.. but a fe days of sratching and peckin and poopin, and it wont be greener anymore...
 
Quote:
Dear Nugget,
I hear you want to run away. I hope you will decide not to. You may not be the only man of the house, but you ARE the bestest and most favorite ( but shhh, don't tell the others).
You have made some pretty heavy demands. Your number 1 demand is for more hens . Every guy THINKS he wants more women, but look at the down side- more hens would mean more chances of being henpecked. The other roosters would totally laugh you down.
Which brings us to demand number 2. Sorry dude, but if there were less roosters, then you'd be less appealing. Right now, the hens and the humans have something to compare you to. Which makes you look great. Do you really want to chnace that?
Now, the dish bottle thing..... That should be something you keep to yourself. For example, I like Neil Diamond- something I'd never tell anyone because they would totally give me the eye rolling. The fact that your human caretakers even let you have a detergent bottle without taking you to therapy should be enough to keep you happy.
There can not be a roost on top of the coop. The only roosters on the top of the coop are the metal ones that spin in the wind. I don't think you spinning in the wind would be a good thing. Again, think of how hard the other roosters would laugh at you falling off the roof after spinning...

Now the curly fries sound good. There is only one problem- they are fattening, and artery clogging. If you were to have curly fries for lunch every day, it wouldn't be too long before you were totally fat. Then, it woudn't be just the other roosters laughing. The hens would also. You'd be too fat to uh.. play with your bottle.

I hope you will stay. Just remember, the grass isn't greener on the other side. Well, Ok, maybe it IS.. but a fe days of sratching and peckin and poopin, and it wont be greener anymore...

haha!! yes i agree. nugget, you should stay. you are very very very loved and you would be missed terribly, so don't leave.
 
Dear LilBizzy,

You have no idea how hard it is to keep up appearances around here! Thanks to that moron Blue Roo fainting when I yelled at that skunk last year, everyone has the hero thing going on. Look it's a dog, call Nugget! OMG, it's a hawk, call Nugget! Oh no!! It's another skunk, call Nugget! You know, I'd like a break sometimes too!

There are a lot of hens around here, but they are all really short except for Sissy I and Sissy II, Red, Fuzzy Butt, Buffy, and Penny. The Sissies and Penny are Blue Roo's, Fuzzy Butt hates all of us roos, Buffy hides from me or runs between my legs and then laughs at me. The other roos think it's awful funny when I sneak up on a hen and end up sitting on the ground because she ran out the back way!

Sparkle gets to sleep up on top of the coop whenever he wants too, I don't see why I can't. I have a harder time getting up there, but he's so skinny he just hops up on the fence and then to the roof. I hop up on the fence and it folds!

I love my french fries, and it's not fair that when the human throws fries to everyone I don't get very many! I try and be a gentleman and call the hens over to eat first, but with all these darn babies running around, by the time I bend over to get a bite I end up with a beak full of screaming baby chicken, then Popcorn's girlfriend Lissa comes screaming and flapping at me like I was TRYING to grab one of the little suckers. It takes me longer to reach the ground for heaven's sake, I'm 34 inches taller than them. The only fries I get I have to take out of the human's hand,,,, How mortifying is that? I'm a roo!

The dish bottle,, that was a private demand you know,, she shouldn't have told anyone, and now she's trying to sneak up on me during a private moment and take my picture!

I tried to talk Red into leaving with me since she isn't attached to anyone at the moment, she seems to like my company when I can catch her. We'll hang out for now,, but if I see that gate unguarded....

Nugget
 
hehehehehe



There There Nugget it's okay
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you just head West till you see big water and hang a right and I will keep an eye out for you. I will see your demands and raise you your own private love nest for you and the ahem bottlegirl.
 
W-O-W! You guys are freakin hilarious!
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I'm so glad I joined this forum. I hope when my chicks grow up they're as...er...um...animated as your roo. Oh, and I'm all for the pics of the bow-chicka-wow-wow
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with the bottle. Tee hee, seriously, you guys are hilarious!
 
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Hey consider it a compliment I have been trying to bribe Suede away from Speckledhen for a good 6 months now.
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I do not bribe just any ole roo only the good ones.
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All chickens have a personality of their own but every now and then one surprises everyone with a special behavior that make anyone laugh. Just be careful who you tell. I wouldn't want to see the "Lost Roo" post because someone wanted your special rooster more then you do.
 
Actually there have been attempts on him before, and on my roo LaRoo. Nugget because he's so big and pretty, LaRoo because he's very unique around here. I love my boys, sometimes I want to pluck and fry them, but not too often.
 

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