Sadly, when I'm down, it's resented-->venting...

[yardbird tx]

Maybe he just dose not like to see you in pain. But dose not really know how to express it. I would ease up. I deal with the same thing with my wife. When I have to take over the things she usually dose it nerves me a little. I worry im going to do something wrong or not the way she wants it done.

Is he going to get yelled at if he trys to take over for you and dose not do it the way you think he should?

And the put on his big boy panties thing is kind of a crappy thing to say about a provider of a family. Where is the respect? No one is perfict.

 

[debilorrah]

I am sure the OP has expressed her frustration as this is not the first time he has acted like a child when she is down and out. So, he can put away his big boy panties and simply grow up. we all have to deal with things that unnerve us and we are uncomfortable with. Personally, I choose the deal with it and move on.

 

[warren]

Hope you are feeling better soon.

Most mens problems are hormonal just like ours. It's just a different set of hormones at play.
Their default mood at times of stress is grumpy.
They are not used to dealing with routine female health problems and so do not know how to cope with it and feel stressed.
It may be best to take to your bed, try to enjoy a rest, and stay there out of his way until you feel well enough to cope.
I think that at these times we feel so unwell that we get very upset by their apparent lack of care.

 

[cjeanean]

Quote:
LOL....someone's used to PMS....Hubby doesn't really mess with me, it's like he ain't got the guts to try anything when that time comes around. He understands, though, which is cool...he knows that when I start getting PO'd all the time it's time for him to back off.

Also, although some men are quite capable of taking over, others are not. If I turn my back for a second everything would be everywhere and nothing where it's supposed to be. I'm the only girl here, though....the kid and the hubby have their OWN system. I personally think the 'big boy panties' is hilarious!!! Hubby laughs too, cause it's just something funny to imagine....LOL! And just because you're the breadwinner does not exempt you from being the object of jokes....Just like being the homemaker does not exempt us from blonde comments/moments, insanity, and premature grey...murder can also be a side effect, especially when lots of small children are involved......

 

[debilorrah]

I would rather he do nothing than be furious with me, clanging things around and acting childish. My fiance never acts like that with, nor do I with him. THAT is respect.

Thankfully, I am nearing the end of those issues....

 

[chiknwhisperer]

Unfortunatly my DH isn't around enough to even try to help. He does what he can for the two hours he is awake when he gets home. He feels guilty about not being able to help. But, with his old job he had plenty of time to help and was scared to because he didn't want to screw up the way I have things around here. And he does back off when it is that time. I guess I get a look in my eyes that tells him to stay away lol. I don't mean to be mean but it comes naturally lol. I feel bad for him but then I chew him out for not taking the initative to just do it himself and let me go into a temporary coma.

 

[Chicabee19]

I guess I am pretty lucky.

My DH shares about 50% of everything around here.

He mostly ends up doing the dishes -- I guess it's because he cares if they sit there and I don't. I'd get to them... eventually, but he can't wait for that time to roll around, apparently.

We both have far more interesting things to do than fight about stuff around the house or argue about what goes where.

I used to be one of those "everything in its place" people. I even had little tags inside the cupboards to help everyone else keep things in the right place.... can you imagine!?

Until I had 4 little kids dumped on my doorstep in the middle of the night (that made 5 total, ages 1, 3, 10, 11 and 14).

I quickly went from using a plastic holder "put the forks in here, the spoons go in there..." to removing the plastic holder "I don't care, throw the darn things in the drawer".

I went from carefully tri-folding my towels and sheets with the tag on the inside, to slapping the two sides together a few times and throwing them into the cabinet. Sometimes they would even sit in the basket until one by one, they ended up back in the laundry.

 

[ChooksChick]

I'm sure if he weren't so cranky right now, he'd laugh about the 'big boy panties' thing with gusto, because our girls called his, ahem, undergarments, *panties* until fairly recently

Unfortunately, he's getting worse as they day moves on, railing on the girls for their rooms, stomping and cussing as he cleans. He's very good about housework, and he and I do the same amount, really, as we both work full time. He's fabulous about that, and I tell him so. And we're equal providers, making almost the same, so we're very respectful of each other on all levels- it wouldn't matter, anyway.

I think he's just peeved about me not helping. I could be wrong. He is really making quite the show of it, too.

I just want to go get my Georgie, who never, ever poops on me, and bring her in to snuggle, but he nearly lost his spit when I said so...I'm going to calmly lay here and ignore him. I'm done with that carp. I'll snuggle the darn dog and continue to rest.

It's really sad and I'm sad for him, because then he's going to be apologizing for being such a turkey. I don't want apologies, just sit down and relax, big fella!!!!

 

[Guitartists]

Is yours a Cancer? LOL My crabby DH is so flippin moody that if I'm having a bad day or PMSin'.... so is HE!

So, I feel your pain!

 

[Chicabee19]

I know my DH always acted 'different' when I was putting out certain hormones... but it definitely wasn't "cranky"!