School Policy...*(&^&%!!!!!

[citrusdreams]

Quote:
I disagree. Not all parents are going to work harder to make sure their child isn't punished for something that was their fault. A lot of parents become upset that the schools punished their child for what the parent failed to do.

It is NOT a child's responsibility to parent the parent. What the child is learning is that they are being punished for what their parents failed to do, because for all the teacher knows, the child did ask mom/dad to sign, and mom/dad just didn't.

It's like if you are under someone at work, and you and a they have an assignment together. You complete your part, and you keep reminding your supervisor to do their part, but they don't. Should you be punished even though you had no control over your supervisor's actions? I mean, you did tell them that the assignment had to be completed, right? Would it be fair if you both lost your job?

I took my kids out of public school because I wanted to be an active part of their learning, and I wanted to have say over what they were exposed to. Plus, I got really tired of having my kids come home telling me, "Mrs. _________ said we should do things this way even at home." Well, Mrs. ________ doesn't live here, nor work my farm, and she doesn't have any say on what goes on in my home.

I hope everyone remembers 2 things:
1) you the parent are your child's first teacher and
2) There are some wonderful teachers out there, and a lot of them are parents, too.

I agree with you that some parents won't care and will allow their kids to be penalized for their own shortcomings. But I disagree that the children will learn that they are being punished for their parents' actions. I still believe they will learn they are being punished for being late, for not having assignments completed on time, for not having things signed, etc. It will teach them that certain functions need to be completed, regardless of who is responsible for them. They will learn not to point fingers, but to get the job done.

And I agree with you, it's not the child's job to parent the parent. But they will learn that they still need to get their responsibilites fulfilled. It's unfortunate that a child might have to learn that they have to remind their parents fifty times to "sign here" but it will teach them to have persistence when the have to have things signed later in life.

The experiences that they have now, will prepare them for later. Life isn't always fair, and there will always be people who will do more, and there will always be people who will do less. What their experiences in school will do, is teach them how to cope with it and to work with what they have.

A nursing assistant might have five patients and another might have seven. It's not fair, but what is each to do - besides their best? What? the one with seven is going to whine about having seven while the other assistant gets five, and just not take care of the extra two? At least children learning life lessons and lessons in responsbility in school are in nurturing structured environments. It's not going to get any easier when they're older. They may as well learn how to cope with it now, so that when they get their first job, they're not slammed with reality.

 

[Judy]

Quote:
Exactly.

 

[PattiXmas]

Quote:
I disagree. Not all parents are going to work harder to make sure their child isn't punished for something that was their fault. A lot of parents become upset that the schools punished their child for what the parent failed to do.

It is NOT a child's responsibility to parent the parent. What the child is learning is that they are being punished for what their parents failed to do, because for all the teacher knows, the child did ask mom/dad to sign, and mom/dad just didn't.

It's like if you are under someone at work, and you and a they have an assignment together. You complete your part, and you keep reminding your supervisor to do their part, but they don't. Should you be punished even though you had no control over your supervisor's actions? I mean, you did tell them that the assignment had to be completed, right? Would it be fair if you both lost your job?

I took my kids out of public school because I wanted to be an active part of their learning, and I wanted to have say over what they were exposed to. Plus, I got really tired of having my kids come home telling me, "Mrs. _________ said we should do things this way even at home." Well, Mrs. ________ doesn't live here, nor work my farm, and she doesn't have any say on what goes on in my home.

I hope everyone remembers 2 things:
1) you the parent are your child's first teacher and
2) There are some wonderful teachers out there, and a lot of them are parents, too.

I agree with you that some parents won't care and will allow their kids to be penalized for their own shortcomings. But I disagree that the children will learn that they are being punished for their parents' actions. I still believe they will learn they are being punished for being late, for not having assignments completed on time, for not having things signed, etc. It will teach them that certain functions need to be completed, regardless of who is responsible for them. They will learn not to point fingers, but to get the job done.

And I agree with you, it's not the child's job to parent the parent. But they will learn that they still need to get their responsibilites fulfilled. It's unfortunate that a child might have to learn that they have to remind their parents fifty times to "sign here" but it will teach them to have persistence when the have to have things signed later in life.

The experiences that they have now, will prepare them for later. Life isn't always fair, and there will always be people who will do more, and there will always be people who will do less. What their experiences in school will do, is teach them how to cope with it and to work with what they have.

A nursing assistant might have five patients and another might have seven. It's not fair, but what is each to do - besides their best? What? the one with seven is going to whine about having seven while the other assistant gets five, and just not take care of the extra two? At least children learning life lessons and lessons in responsbility in school are in nurturing structured environments. It's not going to get any easier when they're older. They may as well learn how to cope with it now, so that when they get their first job, they're not slammed with reality.

Exactly!! It is so much easier to teach a child when they are young about responsibilities then it is to wait until the kid is in the "real" world.

I recently taught my son a very valuable lesson. He was so used to just sliding my debit card to fill up the gas tank, and thought that a tank full of gas would get you far, and that he could go and go. I wanted him to see how much money we actually spend on gas in a week, so he was having to put $20 in a at a time. He soon learned that our "normal" driving for him and his sister was at least $120 a week for just one vehicle! He learned that we spend a small fortune just running them to the necessary places that he hasn't asked to go somewhere by himself just for fun anymore. Once I made it "difficult" for him by having him go in to the gas station with a $20 bill and have to do this several times a week, he was able to fully understand. It was so easy for him to just to swipe my card at the pump, fill it up and go that he wasn't fully aware of things. I think that teaching a kid responsibilities while young makes them more appreciative and ready for the real world. I have also taken advantage of having the kids be responsible for their own dogs, goats and chickens. While I foot the bill for the feed, they know they have to work off the money I spend. I have no problems spending the money on the feed, vet care, etc as long as they continue to socialize the animals, work the animals, clean up after the animals and care for them.

If every parent complained about how much homework their children have, then our children would not be learning anything except laziness. I am sure that most elementary schools/teachers do not assign homework unless the children were unable to complete the assignments in class. At this point, you should be asking who was being disruptive enough in the classrooms to prevent the kids from finishing the assignments during class times.

 

[Julie08]

The point I believe is to make the child responsible enough to get homework out and show it to a parent which might make a parent show an interest. Really, if the child gets out a pen and the homework and hands it to parent I think MOST parents would sign it. I know, I know, I know there will be the exception, but in general I think most parents would sign if the child hands over the book and the pen.

 

[muddypuddles]

I get really tired of hearing that piling on the homework in elementary school is going to "prepare them for the workforce" For heavens sakes! they are CHILDREN and they are in school for 6-7 hours of the day. Teachers need to teach during that time so I can parent and not do a teachers job as well. My kids have had teachers that gave work that was "homework" and even if there was time in class to do it, they were forbidden to do it-they had to do silent reading instead so that the work was done at home!

I grew up in the seventies in a nice middle class area and I never remember doing homework except for special projects once in a while (even in high school I rarely had homework) and I NEVER remember my Mom going to the schools EVER. She had other things to do-babies at home etc. And guess what, I grew up to graduate college in chemical engineering and hold down a job too!

 

[PattiXmas]

Quote:
Exactly.

The teachers are hoping to establish communications with the parents via the kids. I know that if my kids whined and whined about getting me to look at their homework and sign a piece of paper and I don't do it, then I as a parent am not doing MY job. When people decide to have children, they become responsible.If they can't understand their responsibility, there has to be something wrong with those parents and the schools definitely need to communicate with the parents. The best way to communicate with the parents is by punishing those kids. Most parents will go through the roof when their children are "in trouble" so when they go to the school to discuss it, the parents can be informed at that time why little Susie is in detention and if the parents don't want Susie in trouble again, all she/he has to do is have their parent(s) verify that the work was done by a signature.

Kids today actually have it so much easier then when I was in school. Too many teachers are afraid to sit down with the parents and tell them that little Timmy is a disruptive monster. There is so much more violence that kids are exposed to at such an early age due to lack of parental involvement/control. The kids have also learned that all they have to do is whine and complain and they can get away with not doing what needs to be done.

I am totally in support of a homework log, no talking/running in the hallways and three strikes and you are out policy. I see where it opens up communications and I know if my kid was being the "disruptive" one, when he is punished in school, he is punished at home as well.

 

[Lucky Ducky]

All I can think is WOW, some people really live in a fairy tale world.

My oldest started 3rd grade this year and they also have a strike sheet. Their strike sheet has to do with only their behavior, not anything that involves the parent. Which is the way it should be IMO. Also they have a planned field trip at the end of every nine weeks and the strike sheet is being used as a kind of reward system. They start off the nine weeks with all of the letters of the activity (this nine weeks it is PLAY IN PARK), every 3 strikes takes a letter off and only those left with a least one letter can participate in the field trip. As I said, their strike sheets only pertain to their behavior and the things in their control. If I don't sign the assignment book, she is not penalized. This is exactly how it should be for children.

I too would be angry if she was to get in trouble for stuff that is my fault. No child should be punished for things outside of their control.

"I don't see why poverty would affect the child from doing their homework or having their parents take a few minutes out of their day to sign the paperwork and verify the homework has been done. The parents have had all day while the children were in school to try and figure out what to feed their children, so they should be able to sign a simple piece of paper."

PattiXmas- Have you ever be hungry? Have you ever been so poor that there is nothing in the house to eat at all, NOTHING? Until you've been there or been really close to someone who has, you know nothing about poverty and hunger. I grew up with a single Mom in the projects, I know exactly what poor families go through. I seen parents sooo strung out that they could care less about themselves or their children. I brought friends into my house just so they could eat because there wasn't anything at their house for them to eat, even though their parent got food stamps. Back then they were paper and they would sell them or trade them for drugs.

I am glad to have risen above where I came from. My children will never know what it is to live like that. Though my DH and I do not have a lot of money because he is the only one who works, I stay at home with our children, my children WILL NEVER know what it's like to be hungry. They have everything that they need and some of what they want. Most importantly they have me, a parent who will be involved. A lot of kids aren't so lucky. You should think of them. I do.
The OP wasn't talking about a child being punished for not doing their homework but for a parent not signing their homework. If I would have persistently pestered my mother about signing some paper, I would have gotten my butt beaten and my Mom wasn't as bad as some. BUT my Mom would not let me as her child dictate to her what she would or would not be doing. She would've been at the school going off if I had been punished for her mistakes though.

 

[Tuffoldhen]

Quote:
Exactly!

 

[EweSheep]

Well my DD is starting K and we had a nice chat with the teacher which she understands our old school teachings and things have changed alot since we have been in school. I was completely FLOORED when she said that she expect my dd to complete her three sets of homework each week, due on Friday to learn what she learned in school and practice her writing and reading there too. I never had homework when I was in K, until up to 2nd grade and it is usually one page each subject homework, now its several pages each subject. Oh Lordy, help me on this one! I can not figure out why homework is so important to the teacher. And she will be expected to know how to add and subtract as by the end of her K year.

We have a tardy system and there are plenty of parents that would neglect their duties as parents. And we did sign her progress reports when she was in preK which it is so helpful seeing how our daughter does in class. There was also time outs when dd slaps, hits or shove a student even she didn't know that was not allowed. When she does have a "strike" against her, she would be grounded at home as well. She didn't like it one bit either.

 

[ams3651]

Im skipping ahead but I agree with you being upset. Last year my older son was 15 minutes late for school because he had to take his brother with him to catch his bus to school (from older sons HS) and he missed it, so he had to turn around and meet my gram because I had a flat tire. Valid excuse I would think. I called and vouched for him, the principal knows his brother takes that bus from there. Nope, I had to fight with them or he would have got detention for being tardy. The parent has to sign the detention slip for him to serve and I refused to sign it.