Sell Me On A Duck Breed

[Mimi13]

Caveat: I didn’t read your intro before I wrote this. Regardless, read and use what you can.
This is REALLY EASY. We’ve had all the normal breeds. Forget them. The bird you need isn’t a duck, nor a goose. We commonly call it the Muscovy. Now, why Muscovies?
1. They are HYPER CRAZY RELENTLESS bug / insect consumers.
2. They are almost silent.
3. Males have huge carcasses - way bigger than ducks.
4. They breed like rats, so they’ll fill the freezer. They are delicious if u can cook.
5. They cut and fertilize your lawn.
6. You get to pinion each ones wing when they hatch.
7. They are excellent foragers.
8. They just survived a N. MI winter without an issue an I didn’t water them once.

Wow! Really informative there. I’m gonna have to look up ‘pinion.’ I’m guessing it is something different than clipping?

Muscovy was on my initial list, but I culled them. If everything goes to plan I will most likely get some at a later date.

 

[WannaBeHillBilly]

I prefer the smooth taste of Disaronno. Can never go wrong with that one. Ralphie must need the strong stuff to keep his blood from freezing!

Amaretto di Saronno Originale! - My favorite too!

 

[WannaBeHillBilly]

I’ve been running around like a chicken with its...
Oh, that’s a bad analogy for this forum, isn’t it? Anyway, I’ve been busy getting my little brooder set up. Complete with a catch basin for their waterer.

Everything is set up, turned on, filled up and ready to go. I can’t wait. I’ve set one of my lamps on a timer and turned the radio on to country music. Gotta raise those babies right! Everything I need is within an arm’s reach of the brooder...you know, so I won’t have to get up to get what I might need.

RELAAAAAX! Those little ducklings will teach you the right ways within one day:

• Feed us!
• Give us water!
• Go away we sleep now!
• Feed us more!
• The water is empty again!
• How about some peas?
• Ever heart of salad?
• QUIET! We're sleeping now.
• Feed us!
• By the way what's that aroma around here?
• …

A little while later they will swallow you whole…

 

[duluthralphie]

RELAAAAAX! Those little ducklings will teach you the right ways within one day:

• Feed us!
• Give us water!
• Go away we sleep now!
• Feed us more!
• The water is empty again!
• How about some peas?
• Ever heart of salad?
• QUIET! We're sleeping now.
• Feed us!
• By the way what's that aroma around here?
• …

A little while later they will swallow you whole…

If your lucky they will eat you whole. Most the time they gum a person to death.

 

[Knighstar679]

If your lucky they will eat you whole. Most the time they gum a person to death.

Nah they just noodle you a bit. It’s cute and totally adorable! Everyone could use a good noodle now and then!

 

[duluthralphie]

Nah they just noodle you a bit. It’s cute and totally adorable! Everyone could use a good noodle now and then!

While you may think a noodle is harmless, in today’s environment it is anything but harmless.

One little noodle will leave a nasty break in the skin from the dux teeth. But couple that with the bottle of Corona setting on the edge of the table and the dux coming back for a second bite with his razor sharp teeth.

And the dux bumps the table leg.... WHAM!!!

and the Corona wobbles and tips over, you catch it, but not before a little splashes on the open bite from the last dux noodle.

The Corona Virus is in your system and in 16 days your dead...

Better shop for your urn now..

 

[Beaglegal]

While you may think a noodle is harmless, in today’s environment it is anything but harmless.

One little noodle will leave a nasty break in the skin from the dux teeth. But couple that with the bottle of Corona setting on the edge of the table and the dux coming back for a second bite with his razor sharp teeth.

And the dux bumps the table leg.... WHAM!!!

and the Corona wobbles and tips over, you catch it, but not before a little splashes on the open bite from the last dux noodle.

The Corona Virus is in your system and in 16 days your dead...

Better shop for your urn now..

Poor little dux, I hope it wasn’t hurt when it bumped the table leg.

 

[duluthralphie]

It wasn’t but when the Corona spilled, I jumped up and stomped the door like the feathered rat he is. Or was..

 

[Mimi13]

Amaretto di Saronno Originale! - My favorite too!
View attachment 2070289

OMG. That stuff is as smooth as a baby’s butt...on the rocks! Yum!

 

[Mimi13]

RELAAAAAX! Those little ducklings will teach you the right ways within one day:

• Feed us!
• Give us water!
• Go away we sleep now!
• Feed us more!
• The water is empty again!
• How about some peas?
• Ever heart of salad?
• QUIET! We're sleeping now.
• Feed us!
• By the way what's that aroma around here?
• …

A little while later they will swallow you whole…

This is hilarious. I like the way you write HillBilly!