Very well said Spook!
I lost my parents too young to cancer, but went thru some similar situations while caring for them during their illnesses. Also helped to take care of my grandparents while I was growing up, and am watching my contemporaries deal with the issues of aging parents (I'm 45). I don't really have advice so much as observations.
We moved in with my mother's parents when I was 6 and remained at their home until a year after my grandfather's death 6 years later. For a child, growing up with grandparents in such near proximity was a real treat. As an adult, I realized exactly how strong my parent's marriage had to have been to make it thru that time. I hope your children realize just how prescious this time with their grandparents is.
3 years after moving away, my grandmother came to live with us full time due to progressing Parkinson's. My perspective as a teenager was a little different, but the love and respect for her remained. The first time I had to help her with her bath, my grandmother had tears streaming down her face - I asked if she was hurting, meaning in a physical way - she said no, she was just remembering the very first bath she had ever given me, her first grandchild. That experience helped me keep in perspective the fact that the changes that they are going thru are very hard for them too, and in different ways.
Some things that are happening now WILL actually seem funny later. When my Gramp's (father's father) decline began, it was while the family was gathered for Thanksgiving, and he was away from home (as were most of us). Because he grew confused, particularly at night, a member of the family stayed with him during his hospital stay. One morning, after spending the night with him, while eating his breakfast, Gramp looked at me and said "This is pretty good. Do you eat here often?" Believe it or not, that memory brings a smile to my face, because it was just so "him." Another smile comes from when an aide came in to straighten his room and change the linens - he leaned in close to me and whispered "I don't have any money to tip her" (as if he were at a hotel). She heard him and patted him on the shoulder and said "It's okay Gramp, it's all covered in the room charge." Smiling all the while...
I lost my parents too young to cancer, but went thru some similar situations while caring for them during their illnesses. Also helped to take care of my grandparents while I was growing up, and am watching my contemporaries deal with the issues of aging parents (I'm 45). I don't really have advice so much as observations.
We moved in with my mother's parents when I was 6 and remained at their home until a year after my grandfather's death 6 years later. For a child, growing up with grandparents in such near proximity was a real treat. As an adult, I realized exactly how strong my parent's marriage had to have been to make it thru that time. I hope your children realize just how prescious this time with their grandparents is.
3 years after moving away, my grandmother came to live with us full time due to progressing Parkinson's. My perspective as a teenager was a little different, but the love and respect for her remained. The first time I had to help her with her bath, my grandmother had tears streaming down her face - I asked if she was hurting, meaning in a physical way - she said no, she was just remembering the very first bath she had ever given me, her first grandchild. That experience helped me keep in perspective the fact that the changes that they are going thru are very hard for them too, and in different ways.
Some things that are happening now WILL actually seem funny later. When my Gramp's (father's father) decline began, it was while the family was gathered for Thanksgiving, and he was away from home (as were most of us). Because he grew confused, particularly at night, a member of the family stayed with him during his hospital stay. One morning, after spending the night with him, while eating his breakfast, Gramp looked at me and said "This is pretty good. Do you eat here often?" Believe it or not, that memory brings a smile to my face, because it was just so "him." Another smile comes from when an aide came in to straighten his room and change the linens - he leaned in close to me and whispered "I don't have any money to tip her" (as if he were at a hotel). She heard him and patted him on the shoulder and said "It's okay Gramp, it's all covered in the room charge." Smiling all the while...
