SHe has no more excuses. rant

Do we have the same sister?

 

Her house, her business as to how she keeps it, not yours. If her being late causes a problem, start/leave without her (just make sure she knows that you will be starting/leaving at X o'clock, even if she isn't there.

 

why does this matter?

just a thorn in your side....LOL


let it go. let her do her thing seriously. do not waste a brain cell on her housework or anything else.


you are ranting cause it is "in your face"

I know......


only thing is---do not let "her 3 hrs. late" effect you. If she said I am coming at 12:00----and she was not there by 1, and you called to check and no answer, then leave the house and go shopping, do whatever you planned etc. do not wait on her!!! that is "how we allow" us to be used and abused. You do your thing on your time limits.
do not let her "late" effect your life.


hang in there...it is all good if you live your life on your timetable and not hers

 

Next time she gives an excuse, just say "You're a slob and you know it."

 

I have to respond to this.

I also have a sister like this. she makes us all crazy. When she's late for dinner it might be that she decided to stop and look for some new shoes on the way over and lost track of time, or something like that. Has no respect or consideration for those of us that are trying to hold the food warm for her. Anyway, that's just the tip of the iceberg, that behavior applys to everything she does, except her job and her church. Somehow she manages to get those things done as priorities.

One day I was reading the newspaper and there was an advice column done by a pyschologist. The question he was answering dealt with a person exactly like our sisters. His advice was that people like her are actually feeling very out of control in their lives.

She might have a demanding boss, a disapproving mother-in-law, an alcoholic or abusive spouse, any number of things. She feels that she has no choices in what happens in her life. So, when something happens and she is expected to act in a certain way (like show up for dinner at a certain time) and it's with people, like family, that can't really say or do anything about it or to her if she doesn't do this, she will deliberately (but subconciously) take her time, or stop and look at shoes, or just do whatever she wants to show that others can't tell her what to do. When my sister shows up late, and we say "Where have you been?" she just smiles and says "Oh well, you know me."

Also, this psychologist says that these people have a very low sense of self esteem, and that they feel that they get very little attention or are hardly noticed. When she is late like this, something deep in her is getting some satisfaction from knowing that everyone at the dinner party is now talking about her, and that she is getting everyone's attention. And when she comes in late (making an entrance) everyone has to notice her.

Just had to add this little tidbit in. Don't know if it makes sense to anyone else, but it really explains my sister, when you know her.

 

Quote:Why? Better to just ignore it.

 

If you make nasty comments you will just make her feel worse, and what is the benefit of that? However, if you allow her to hold you hostage to her lateness, that is your fault. If dinner is at seven, eat dinner at seven. Don't wait for her. If she is to meet you at two to go shopping, leave her a note and leave by yourself at two thirty.

 

I've read that being chronically late is a control thing. So like the post said above, probably for attention or just to have some control over some situation. But it's still just rude.