Should I patent this wonderful ideal?

Spookwriter

Crowing
9 Years
Feb 23, 2010
4,421
633
271
Ohio
* I'll deal with tomorrow, tomorrow. Tonight I need to step back and
regroup. Those of you who've read the other post will understand. *



Dinner at our house this evening was a strange event. My daughter is
going through the "Dude" stage. Her and her friends have got to say "Dude"
in every sentence, dude.

And quite honestly I'm getting tired of it, dude. I mean, like dude...Who says dude in
every sentence, dude. It gets old dude. So her constant "dude'en" is like driving my
wife nuts, dudes.

I know all you husband dudes can understand this one....I can not stand a nutty wife.
She is just a woman. Sanity is a fine line. They can go over the edge before we even
know they're near the cliffs. It's a woman thing, dude.

So we're setting at the table, me in my special King Daddy chair at the head of the table,
and I begin to have "The Talk" with my daughter. That's on of our special daddy dutys :
we're in charge of having "The Talk" with our children. My wife can not handle the talk...
something about the cliffs.

We're having the talk. She knows how much trouble she's in. And frankly, she doesn't seem
to be scared of me. My wife says our daughter has had me wrapped around her little finger
since the day she was born. That's not it at all. I can be stern when I have to be.

The TALK turns into a dude contest of who can use dude the most times in one sentence, dude.
I'm showing her the error of her ways. Really aggravates my wife. I use dude like seven times in
one sentence man. Very near the cliffs.

Being the kind and loving husband that I am, I begin to nudge her toward the rocks.

I begin a story about dudes, dudettes, dudes-it, not-dudes-it and the school principal.

Hana (daughter) is laughing so hard she falls out of her chair during dinner. Quite funny, it was.
So I move to needing seat belts on our chairs. By the way, fried beans and taters, cornbread.
Southern thing don't you know.

Last weekend on of my daughters girlfriends was staying with us. They were playing in bathroom
doing hair and makeup like little girls do. And this girl fell off the commode, getting stuck between
it and the bathtub.

Long explanation of how I came up with my best ideal ever...

"THE CRAP STRAP"


...a seat belt for the commode. Think about the possibilitys. No more worrying about
falling off no matter how long we sit there. Hours and hours, without falling off. No
longer will we need that little "Help-I've fallen and can't get up" in those embarrassing
moments.

I can't wait to patent this wonderful life changing invention. But like all great inventors,
we need to test this product first.

I need some volunteers.

I'm asking four or five of the BYC members to pm me their address. I will mail you
a sturdy piece of rope, and I want you to tie yourself on the commode when you feel
the urge.

I need to know how long you can stay on.
 

unionwirewoman

Songster
12 Years
Sep 14, 2007
788
12
151
Kalispell , MT
Not funny...I just hosed pop and something else out of my nose ! Good idea....but not good to read the story when you're drinking something !
thumbsup.gif
 

BorderKelpie

Songster
10 Years
Mar 1, 2009
1,447
7
163
outside Dallas
Dude!

Grand idea!

May I have an autographed Crap-Strap. please?

Dude.





smile.png


(reminds me of when my DD was younger, we were sitting on the front porch just laughing at life when she and her chair fell off the porch. My other DD and I tied her chair to the porch rail and got a dog leash for her to use as a seat belt. She was not as amused as we were. Dude.)
lol
 

Spookwriter

Crowing
9 Years
Feb 23, 2010
4,421
633
271
Ohio
Edit: I forgot to go back to the beans and taters.

This led to me chasing her through the house with the
Pull My Finger routine.

My dear wife is clearly over the edge by now. For our own
safety, daughter and I take our chase outside to the yard.
Been raining here all day.

I'm chasing her..."Pull my finger...quick, pull my finger." She knows
not to slow down.

She fell in a mud puddle trying to get away. Muddy from the waist down.

Funny as it was, Momma wasn't laughing when we went back in...
 

BrattishTaz

Roo Magnet
9 Years
Jan 8, 2011
4,445
41
213
Tampa Area, Florida
Good invention, great story!
gig.gif
It almost makes me want to forgive you for those FL comments...almost. (We would float, not sink)
duc.gif


You will have to tell your wife that the only cure for "dude" disease is "like" disease. "Man" disease usually follows that. They are about ready to move out by that point so it won't drive you as crazy.
old.gif
 

Spookwriter

Crowing
9 Years
Feb 23, 2010
4,421
633
271
Ohio
Just think of the options this could bring to the bathrrom...

Being able to literally spend hours there without fear of falling,
you could make the utilmate man-cave. Move in a mini-fridge,
large screen tv. Maybe even a foot stool.

Be the envy of the man cave set...three or four crappers in the room.

If this works, I've got an even better invention lined up next...

The Reclining Toilet....for the all day experience.

Always thinking ahead...

Spook
 

BrattishTaz

Roo Magnet
9 Years
Jan 8, 2011
4,445
41
213
Tampa Area, Florida
Quote:
You would have to put a warning on it. If you sit there (maybe playing tetris) too long your feet will fall asleep and break when you stand up.
hit.gif
Ask no questions about that one, just put the warning on it.
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