Should I patent this wonderful ideal?

Discussion in 'Games, Jokes, and Fun!' started by Spookwriter, Mar 9, 2011.

  1. Spookwriter

    Spookwriter Crowing

    Feb 23, 2010
    * I'll deal with tomorrow, tomorrow. Tonight I need to step back and
    regroup. Those of you who've read the other post will understand. *

    Dinner at our house this evening was a strange event. My daughter is
    going through the "Dude" stage. Her and her friends have got to say "Dude"
    in every sentence, dude.

    And quite honestly I'm getting tired of it, dude. I mean, like dude...Who says dude in
    every sentence, dude. It gets old dude. So her constant "dude'en" is like driving my
    wife nuts, dudes.

    I know all you husband dudes can understand this one....I can not stand a nutty wife.
    She is just a woman. Sanity is a fine line. They can go over the edge before we even
    know they're near the cliffs. It's a woman thing, dude.

    So we're setting at the table, me in my special King Daddy chair at the head of the table,
    and I begin to have "The Talk" with my daughter. That's on of our special daddy dutys :
    we're in charge of having "The Talk" with our children. My wife can not handle the talk...
    something about the cliffs.

    We're having the talk. She knows how much trouble she's in. And frankly, she doesn't seem
    to be scared of me. My wife says our daughter has had me wrapped around her little finger
    since the day she was born. That's not it at all. I can be stern when I have to be.

    The TALK turns into a dude contest of who can use dude the most times in one sentence, dude.
    I'm showing her the error of her ways. Really aggravates my wife. I use dude like seven times in
    one sentence man. Very near the cliffs.

    Being the kind and loving husband that I am, I begin to nudge her toward the rocks.

    I begin a story about dudes, dudettes, dudes-it, not-dudes-it and the school principal.

    Hana (daughter) is laughing so hard she falls out of her chair during dinner. Quite funny, it was.
    So I move to needing seat belts on our chairs. By the way, fried beans and taters, cornbread.
    Southern thing don't you know.

    Last weekend on of my daughters girlfriends was staying with us. They were playing in bathroom
    doing hair and makeup like little girls do. And this girl fell off the commode, getting stuck between
    it and the bathtub.

    Long explanation of how I came up with my best ideal ever...


    ...a seat belt for the commode. Think about the possibilitys. No more worrying about
    falling off no matter how long we sit there. Hours and hours, without falling off. No
    longer will we need that little "Help-I've fallen and can't get up" in those embarrassing

    I can't wait to patent this wonderful life changing invention. But like all great inventors,
    we need to test this product first.

    I need some volunteers.

    I'm asking four or five of the BYC members to pm me their address. I will mail you
    a sturdy piece of rope, and I want you to tie yourself on the commode when you feel
    the urge.

    I need to know how long you can stay on.
  2. unionwirewoman

    unionwirewoman Songster

    Sep 14, 2007
    Kalispell , MT
    Not funny...I just hosed pop and something else out of my nose ! Good idea....but not good to read the story when you're drinking something ![​IMG]
  3. BorderKelpie

    BorderKelpie Songster

    Mar 1, 2009
    outside Dallas

    Grand idea!

    May I have an autographed Crap-Strap. please?



    (reminds me of when my DD was younger, we were sitting on the front porch just laughing at life when she and her chair fell off the porch. My other DD and I tied her chair to the porch rail and got a dog leash for her to use as a seat belt. She was not as amused as we were. Dude.)
  4. Spookwriter

    Spookwriter Crowing

    Feb 23, 2010
    Edit: I forgot to go back to the beans and taters.

    This led to me chasing her through the house with the
    Pull My Finger routine.

    My dear wife is clearly over the edge by now. For our own
    safety, daughter and I take our chase outside to the yard.
    Been raining here all day.

    I'm chasing her..."Pull my finger...quick, pull my finger." She knows
    not to slow down.

    She fell in a mud puddle trying to get away. Muddy from the waist down.

    Funny as it was, Momma wasn't laughing when we went back in...
  5. SunnyCalifornia

    SunnyCalifornia Songster

    Oct 8, 2010
    Escondido CA
    Dude, you made me wet my pants [​IMG] , even before I could put the CRAP STRAP on!!! Not cool DUDE!!

    Edit: mispelling...
    Last edited: Mar 9, 2011
  6. sawmane1

    sawmane1 Songster

    Feb 22, 2011
    Mcminnville, Oregon
    so, how mony poeple have been brave enough to try out this wonderful envention?
  7. BrattishTaz

    BrattishTaz Roo Magnet

    Jan 8, 2011
    Tampa Area, Florida
    Good invention, great story! [​IMG] It almost makes me want to forgive you for those FL comments...almost. (We would float, not sink) [​IMG]

    You will have to tell your wife that the only cure for "dude" disease is "like" disease. "Man" disease usually follows that. They are about ready to move out by that point so it won't drive you as crazy. [​IMG]
  8. Spookwriter

    Spookwriter Crowing

    Feb 23, 2010
    Just think of the options this could bring to the bathrrom...

    Being able to literally spend hours there without fear of falling,
    you could make the utilmate man-cave. Move in a mini-fridge,
    large screen tv. Maybe even a foot stool.

    Be the envy of the man cave set...three or four crappers in the room.

    If this works, I've got an even better invention lined up next...

    The Reclining Toilet....for the all day experience.

    Always thinking ahead...

  9. GarlicEater

    GarlicEater Songster

    Feb 23, 2011
    Gilroy, CA
    Don't tell the Patent Office you have an "ideal" to patent, instead tell them you "gots an idear". [​IMG]
  10. BrattishTaz

    BrattishTaz Roo Magnet

    Jan 8, 2011
    Tampa Area, Florida
    Quote:You would have to put a warning on it. If you sit there (maybe playing tetris) too long your feet will fall asleep and break when you stand up. [​IMG] Ask no questions about that one, just put the warning on it. [​IMG]
    Last edited: Mar 10, 2011

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