*sigh* I'm loosing my touch. (Warning: Hi-jacked by Em)

[Tanichca]

Quote:
Wait.. so I can't go visit the lady with the exotic chickens?!? *looks crushed*

 

[Spookwriter]

Today it seems I have ...parent problems.
I need some advice from my friends. Or Em.

My daughter brought home her report card. Her first ever "C".
I'm in complete shock. This is my honor student. Straight A's.

It gets worse...much worse.

At the parent-teacher conference the teacher tells me Hana has
discovered....BOYS. Her only in the sixth grade, and already those
evil creatures are beginning to ruin her life.

What do I do now? Is she lost?

I never, never, never thought I would have to buy a bucket for my
own daughter. How could I be so blind?

So Tani, who's got the best buckets? TSC?

Or shall I simply enroll my daughter in an all-girl school?

I need help....

Spook

 

[Tanichca]

Buy a bucket, quick! Sixth grade is far too early! They have some nice cheap ones at Walmart. You can buy them in bulk so that when she loses one, you have some others on hand!

 

[sourland]

Buy the bucket.




QUICKLY!!!!!!!

 

[BrattishTaz]

Poor Spook.

Just wait until she brings home a boy with a mohawk.

 

[EmtheFishLady]

Does she know how to bake brownies yet? Want me to teach her?

Oh wait...I was supposed to say something about buckets wasn't I?

 

[sourland]

I told my son about the buckets. He purchased one for his oldest daughter and her grades improved greatly. Just sayin'.

 

[Spookwriter]

And you thought it couldn't get worse?

Received my copy of AARP's Men's Monthly in todays mail.
It had a most interesting lead story that I feel compelled
to share with our fellow gentlemen here, as a sort of public
service.

It seems that the watchdogs for the American Association
of Retired People has recently identified a new type of woman
preying on the older man.

No longer is it just the cougars on the prowl out there.

It seems there is now a rapidly growing sect of women that
has moved slightly beyond their cougar years : a modern day
over-the-hill gang, who has focused on the older, more mature
man.

From geezers to goobers. That's what the women are calling us.
Goobers. In a pack, we're geezers. But once they've successfully
separated from the pack we become mere goobers. Candy in their
clutches.

Known as the Goober-Getters, these women seem to have a highly
organized gang. They appear to be based somewhere in North Carolina
possibly near the town of Sylva. Some sort of central Queen who
decrees the rules. In the early trackings, it was only a single displaced
Russian who got trapped on a couch, never to be heard from again.

Now, there are Goober-Getter Gangs popping up all over America.
Places like Massachusetts, Arkansas and even Florida. It seems these
wiley old women are coming up in almost every state, communicating
with each other by some sort of secret PM message system.

AARP is still trying to get a focus on how to help a man tell when a real
goober-getter has him in her sights. Right now, these women appear to
focus only on the ultra rich retired man, asking things like how many chickens
we have or wanting to know the size of our coops. A man with two coops, or
a flock of young egg layers are considered the most desirable.

One of the most common tricks these women seem to use is the promise of
an endless brownie supply. Or the old line of "just set in this old rocking chair
on my porch while I take care of you."

They'll take care of you all right. They're after our chickens, our coops.

I'd like to tell you how to spot a goober-getter before they spot you. But
there hasn't been enough of them caught yet. They seem to be the slightly
older women theirself, just beyond the cougar stage.

So Sourman, Farmboy, everybody...be warned. These women are out there.
And you're the game.

 

[redhen]

 

[EmtheFishLady]

I'm afraid Spook may know too much ladies...