Good morning. So here is my snake tale. I hail from NM. Home of rattlesnakes and bull snakes. They get "big," four to six feet long was all I ever saw, and no bigger around than my wrist if that. No real biggie, and in 30 years of living there I saw perhaps two or three.
So I move to MO at age 58 and get chickens. One day my very calm, very quiet DH screams at me from the chicken coop to come help him. I run out there to see what's up and he is wrestling an enormous black reptile from an episode of Star Trek. He is 6'2" and this thing is nearly as big as he is. I look around for some kind of weapon and finally grab a rake and a shovel.
When I get out there, I see there is not one, but TWO of these monsters! I pin one with the rake and DH dispatches it with the shovel. Then we do battle with the other. When we are victorious, I grab both of them by their tails and hold them up. I have to lift them up above my head and they still don't clear the ground. They are nearly as big around as my thigh (I have gained a little weight since then, but they were still of considerable girth!).
That was the day I began referring to my new home as Planet MO. At that moment, I was not sure I would stay, but then I thought, I have battled these ginormous snakes; I feel like I can tackle anything else Missouri has to throw at me.
Disclaimer: I am NOT exaggerating in this story.