So angry - MIL "weeded" my garden! RANT!

[BowChickaBowMow]

Gosh, so sorry your plan and hard work went to waste. Glad you could rant here, and not at her!!! That could cause some problems!

Quote:
LOL!!!! My MIL is one of "these people" (though you'd never find her doing a chore or cleaning, not even her house) but DH knows how to "manage" her "properly" when we need her to watch our son. It's once a year she'll do it, when we're absolutely desperate.. and he "manages" her right. She's a lunatic and it's crazy that he has to play a game with her to get her to do something.

 

[lizardz]

A friend of mine had a MIL like that. She wasn't OCD, she was controlling. She would go in their house and rearrange their furniture to her liking. My friend did some landscaping, then left on vacation for a week. You guessed it - she returned to discover her MIL had come in while they were gone and "re-landscaped" the back yard. And her hubby, of course, always backed MIL. You'll notice in the first sentence I said HAD!

Good luck with your MIL. Yeah, they always "mean well"; doesn't make it any less intrusive.

Liz

 

[Henrietta23]

My husband tells a story of his bachelor days. His parents were up visiting and he was showing them his wok. He'd been using it quite a bit and it was getting nicely seasoned. He explained why that was good but watched his mother's eyes grow wide as she looked at it, knowing that she only saw it as disgustingly dirty and was thinking he was a lazy bachelor and just didn't want to be bothered cleaning it. Sure enough while he was at work the next day she took a brillo pad to it and had it shining like new. He was furious. Years later after she and FIL had lived in Japan for 5 years she apologized. She finally got it.

 

[mylittlehof]

wow - it sounds as if you are all married to my husband!

My MIL did the same thing but with thyme - she just thought it was some old weed, so out it came - All my money and thyme

down the drain. She does our laundry now - I hide my delicate stuff and let her have at the kids t-shirts and jeans! Luckily she lives far away and doesn't visit as much anymore.

 

[deb1]

I am probably in the minority because after years of being miserable attempting to placate my mom I decided that 'just keeping the peace' is a bad idea..

First before I tell this story, I do NOT like spanking as a form of discipline. My FIL refused to follow the rules of either his daughter of myself when it came to his grandkids. He let them do dangerous things like climb on the counter and stove while he just laughed. I didn't want to take my kids to my inlaws house but my MIL wasn't doing anything wrong. I didn't want to punish a woman who was handicapped and might not live long.

One day, after he heard me tell my youngest son that he could not have a fudgesickle before breakfast, my FIL

Desperate and very, very angry... I took my son to my FIL and spanked his butt(my son, not my FIL). Then I said to my son, "You are getting a spanking because your grandfather gave you something I said not to have. He is a bad grandfather and he is the reason that I am punishing you."

Not only did the grandfather start following our rules with our kids but he treated me 100% better. He actually became sweet to me.

It might be extreme but I would calmly tell my MIL that if she came on my land without my permission again, that I would call the law for trespassing. And I would carry through with it.

 

[Javamama]

At first I thought "oh no!" And then I read the replies of the geniuses here...totally agree. There would be so many ways to take advantage of this "problem".

 

[BeardedChick]

OP, I am sorry about your garden.

My aunt offered to come over and weed my garden for me this week and I was equally aghast. I am an adult! If there are weeds in my garden, it's because I let them grow there! They are MY weeds, I might happen to like them!! I am an adult, not one of her useless, spoiled 'kids'. Her children (in their 30's!) are terribly spoiled - she cleans their houses (which she bought for them) and always is watching their children! And her daughter is a stay at home mom!

They came over one time to our house a few years ago to "help" cleaned up the junk when I wasn't home. Well, the junk was all of my stuff like my lumber that I was getting ready to build something with, and they moved it all to the far end of my property! I was so steamed. SO STEAMED. I had to haul alllll of it back to where the power tools are. I was terribly tempted to go rearrange their "junk" at their house for them. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Deb, that made me laugh. I always tell people in the family PLEASE NOT TO FEED MY DOG IN THE KITCHEN. And they do it anyways... The ONLY thing that works is when I tell them that I kick the h*** out of my dog when I catch her in the kitchen, and it's their fault she goes in there! Now, I do not kick my poor old sweet dog EVER, but seriously that's the only way to get people to listen!!!

Why are family members so incredibly disrespectful of simple requests? I just don't get it. I think spanking is totally in order, and next time I catch someone feeding my dog in the kitchen I think I'll go for the fly swatter and beat the h*** out of them.

 

[The Chicken Lady]

Your DH needs to stop defending her and needs to stick up for YOU to her face. He chose to marry you, and when that happened, he became a part of YOUR team and left hers.

There's a bigger problem here than the MIL asserting her wishes over yours. Your husband should be militantly indignant that she would dare do that to you.

Just a thought...

 

[SterlingAcres]

Thank goodness my MIL lives 2 hours away and hates me

 

[rachel]

Here's a good one: Two weeks before my wedding, my grandparents and parents came down to my house to help me get ready for it (it was going to be in my backyard) so along with planting flowers and working on the house, my grandmother decides that my plants, especially roses, need pruning. I specifically told her not to do it, that I would do it after the wedding. She goes on about how roses need to be pruned back by two-thirds or something to stay healthy. Again, I told her not to do it. So what happens while I'm out running errands? I come back to find my beautiful white climbing rose (with blooms all over it mind you) chopped down to two little sticks! Really?! You wanted to cut down white roses a week before my wedding???! (this was at the end of april mind you, not even pruning season) I couldn't say much because my grandparents had come from halfway across the country to help, but as you can imagine, I was really really mad.
I feel your pain.

P.S. The rose bush died from that pruning.