I was RIGHT where you are five years ago. (Except I only have two kids now that the ex is out of the picture.)
It takes so many days of just putting one foot on the floor, then the other. Fake it til you make it. I had to tell myself that every day.
Before we split I was a reasonably successful Chef, working a lot, definitely a rising star. It became clear as a single mother I would have to only work when the kids were at school. I don't have much help, no financial support from their father, and he has removed himself from the boys' lives, and my family is rarely available to me for help. (My sister has babysat my kids a total of 3 times in 12 years. My parents have better things to do than be typical "Grandparents", we see them probably 4 times a year, despite my begging for more time with them.)
It is not easy to be a single parent, or an only parent, but I can honestly say that after a lot of trial & tribulation I have some hope for the future.
Finding a WEEKDAY ONLY cooking job took 3 years. Literally. There were weeks last year the kids & I ate off of $40 in food (and what I'd managed to can over the summer), and things were hard on me (mostly only on me, I try to keep a good attitude for the kids, and am a chef so I can make some pretty spectacular meals for $4. a night). I worked with some elderly people in the community driving them around for gas money and the occasional tip, I worked a day here or there at restaurants who knew me & needed an extra set of hands, I did small catering functions for friends, played a lot of gigs for tips. It was A LOT more work to make ends meet than working at a job is, but it did keep me busy & less depressed.
I finally have a weekday job, and I have to say I have never been more frightened in my life. I know how hard these jobs are to find & I am trying to hang on for dear life to what I know to be the equivalent of a unicorn.
You have to have faith in yourself & do what is best for your kids. If your divorce isn't finalized yet, work on that & on getting some financial help from your husband. Call & see if you qualify for any of the new student loan repayment options (there are a lot of new programs).
I didn't finalize the divorce in time - I knew he would never pay child support & would wind up in prison if I ever pressed him on it - and I regret not having gone after him for more while I could. Now it is too late & I am having to pull myself back up out of the muck of debt, sorrow, and loneliness. It has been a long road, but I see the exit signs now, and someday you will, too.
Do you have an area YMCA? Our local Y became my haven from stress over the last 5 years. They have a program for low income folks -ACCESS - that covers the cost of membership & lessons for the kids, they have daycare centers (that most ACCESS folks qualify for free daycare in) that watch the kids for a long time or just during work outs, family swim, etc. The boys & I were at the Y just about everyday. Nothing like 45 minutes on the elyptical to work out some stress, and a lot of splashing in the pool with the kids to make us all forget the hard things outside the door.
You will find yourself again. But you have to fight. Even on days when you don't have it in you to fight.
Good luck. These things are always hardest during the holidays. Feel free to PM me, if you need the ear of someone who has been there.
