Just found out a friend has in-operable lung cancer. The tumor is in his lung and has attached to his heart. 6 months to a year of life left.
What can I say? what words can be said to him?
I lost my brother to lung cancer. It was too late by the time he was diagnosed. One lung was already fully gone to the cancer the 2nd was 1/2 gone. We all thought he was having a bad time recovering from the flu that he had at Christmas. He had been a volunteer fireman, worked in a shipyard around asbestos, and smoked for over 30years. Mom finally convince him to see a doctor in January. 11 days after his 43rd birthday (March) he was gone. He's been gone 15years now. I am 8 years younger than him and have already lived passed him by 6 years.
There is nothing you can really say except, "I'm here!" or "What do you need me to do?" Don't be afaid to just sit and listen to them talk about the past, about what the future holds for those around them, about their possible fear of dying. Offer to watch the kids if they have some so they can have some personal time, time to get their affairs in order, time to just be. Offer to have their phone calls forwarded to you so there is peace and quiet around the house. You can play secretary! Weed out the junk and give friends updates on how they are doing, verify Dr. appointments. Cook dinner, or order dinner in for them if you don't cook.
Just being their in case they need you is what is most important
Hi There,
I am a cancer survivor and this is my story! I was diagnosed in 1988, 9 days before my 17th birthday with 4th stage fully involved in the bone marrow Hodgkins Disease. The doctors told my parents that I had a 50/50 chance of survival....but Hodgkins was the most treatable form of cancer. After a year of chemo I was declared in remission. Two years later, I relapsed, had 5 months of chemo, 17 days of chest radiation and then on December 24th 1991 I had and autologous (my own bone marrow) bone marrow transplant. I ended up in ICU with adult respiratory failure and the doctors told my parents that if I was not off life support in 3-5 days that there was really no hope. 17 days later (with my mother keeping vigil by my side) I came off life support and returned to the oncology unit. A week and a half later I was discharged on February 11, 1992...5years later meeting my husband whose birthday is February 11...and 3 years later bringing our first child (that I was told I would never have without medical intervention....for which I had NONE) home from the hospital on February 11th. We are the proud parents of 4 beautiful children....two girls, 11 and 9 and two handsome boys 6 and 3! Since I am a miracle and our 4 children our miracles, my license plate is MIRACLZ I am a firm believer in miracles and in my opinion, aside from my mother's sheer determination that I would live, the reason I am here and will be turning 40 in June (many doctors not thinking I would make it to my 21st birthday) is because of my positive attitude from the very beginning! Think positive....God Bless and Be Well!!!!
To Black Bart,
As a cancer survivor, one of the best things to hear is..."I care....I'm here if you need anything, a cup a coffee, a hug, a shoulder." Whatever, you do DON'T say anything like I understand...it made me crazy when people would say I understand....like what exactly do you understand since you have never been through something like this.
Please know that your friend, family and you are in my thoughts and prayers. Be well and God Bless, Andrea