So....talk about.....CANCER SUPPORT THREAD !!

[NurseELB]

Welcome to you Black Bart, Miraclz5, and Orange Ribbon!

Update on me: Surgery is Monday, don't know if it's laproscopic or open- Dr will tell me the details on Friday at the pre-op appointment.

Meanwhile, everyone keeps asking what they can do to help.

I don't quite know what to tell them. I know I've asked the same question of my friends in the same situation.
My husband already maintains most of the household, and I hate the thought of my friends coming to clean. I think I'll ask for some tea-time visits, though.

I did ask one friend to make some easy to reheat meals in single- serve containers. That way I can pop them into the microwave and feed myself on days my husband is working.

Another has been dedicated as my weekend walker- she's going to come get me and take my dog and I for a walk- hold the leash, and even agreed to scoop the poop!

So, what do you say to someone who wants to help? Do you all say thanks and keep them in mind, or does anyone else actually find an "assignment"? I know how useless I've felt asking friends what they need and not knowing how to help - I just want to make it easier for them!

By the way- Does anyone else feel like they are supposed to break down and cry every time someone asks how you are? I told my sister in law I was doing great last Sunday, and she looked at me like I'd grown a second head!

I guess I should be acting like my life is over, but dangit, it isn't! I refuse to be upset about a surgery I eventually wanted, even if this isn't how I wanted it to happen! Guess y'all can call me PollyAnna!

How is everyone else feeling these days? And yes, you are welcome to feel HOWEVER YOU WANT!

 

[verthandi]

Meanwhile, everyone keeps asking what they can do to help.

I don't quite know what to tell them. I know I've asked the same question of my friends in the same situation.
My husband already maintains most of the household, and I hate the thought of my friends coming to clean. I think I'll ask for some tea-time visits, though.

I did ask one friend to make some easy to reheat meals in single- serve containers. That way I can pop them into the microwave and feed myself on days my husband is working.

Another has been dedicated as my weekend walker- she's going to come get me and take my dog and I for a walk- hold the leash, and even agreed to scoop the poop!

So, what do you say to someone who wants to help? Do you all say thanks and keep them in mind, or does anyone else actually find an "assignment"? I know how useless I've felt asking friends what they need.

It is hard to plan ahead for things that you might need. I had some craft projects were small and easy to work on, but I think I just slept quite bit for the first few days. Having someone make some meals is a great idea. Maybe ask other friends to walk with you during the week. The hospital had me up and walking right off the bat, and I really think that helped a lot in my healing and comfort level.

I didn't cry much before but had waves of sadness after and it wasn't from being sad about the surgery, but the hormone level thing. Reminded me of the feelings I would get as a kid watching sad Disney movies.

 

[BlackBart]

Quote:

Its hard to fully understand unless you have been through it. Walk a mile in somebody else s's shoes.

He is not a close friend but my heart goes out to him. A few people are turning it into a pity party and attention for themselves. It is sad how some people re-write the facts. Or is it they are trying to make amends to make themselves feel better or ? It leaves a very bad taste in my mouth, so to speak.
I try to see him only as a healthy person and hopefully the law of attraction will come into play. Miracles do happen and somebody has to be the miracle.
I have made conscious effort not to have changed the way I approach him, speak to him. If he wants to talk, I will listen. It is not about what other people want or need, it is about what he wants or needs.
But I will not degrade him by walking on egg shells, looking at him with sorrow or join the whispering behind his back (within his ear shot). I can't imagine how I would feel if that was done to me.

 

[CoyoteMagic]

Quote:

Its hard to fully understand unless you have been through it. Walk a mile in somebody else s's shoes.

He is not a close friend but my heart goes out to him. A few people are turning it into a pity party and attention for themselves. It is sad how some people re-write the facts. Or is it they are trying to make amends to make themselves feel better or ? It leaves a very bad taste in my mouth, so to speak.
I try to see him only as a healthy person and hopefully the law of attraction will come into play. Miracles do happen and somebody has to be the miracle.
I have made conscious effort not to have changed the way I approach him, speak to him. If he wants to talk, I will listen. It is not about what other people want or need, it is about what he wants or needs.
But I will not degrade him by walking on egg shells, looking at him with sorrow or join the whispering behind his back (within his ear shot). I can't imagine how I would feel if that was done to me.

Good for you!! That is what he needs right now. I am quite sure he knows what is coming down the road and doesn't need people feeling sorry for him. Why he was chosen to walk this road is only the Creators knowing, but his true friends must decide to walk beside him or stay out of his way. He doesn't need mourners before his passing, he needs friends to rejoice in his life.

 

[CoyoteMagic]

Quote:
That is a TRUE friend!!

I think it's because they have never had to deal with someone who has decided to fight for their life. Lady I worked with has dealt with colon, cervical, breast and now liver cancer. Should have died a long time ago. She works herself crazy (regular school and night school with future America's Most Wanted students) is involved with 3 different projects for women who are fighting Breast Cancer, and has a new Grandson that she is spoiling rotten!!

Personally, I have cried once. (A couple of times because the pain of neuropathy(I prayed to die when I was on the Abraxane because is was causing such painful muscle spasms it caused me to have to use a walker and anything longer than 5 minutes, I would sleep for hours) but only once because of the cancer itself.) It was the day I was given the news June 2, 2008. From then on it has been nothing but fight. My pity party with myself ended when instead of "Why me?" the message "Why not?" was placed in my little pea brain. Would I want my sisters, my neices, my Mom to have to walk this path instead of me? Answer is plain and simple. NO! If my having to walk this road would spare them, I would gladly walk it 100times over. The men in our families have always said, "Don't piss off a Silvers woman!" Our men are strong, but the women, lol, nothing will stop them! My neices tell me that each day I survive reminds them that they are a "Silvers Woman" and that nothing or no one will ever be able to keep them down. If this disease finally gets the best of me, it will be after a very LOOOOOOOOOONG and hard faught battle because I like everyone here REFUSE to give in to it!

We will all be keeping you in thought and prayer on Monday.

 

[CoyoteMagic]

Went grocery shopping today.

Prices are getting really scary!! But that's not what this post is about. I came home with something I hadn't planned on.

Meet Ingles (Ingles Market) He ran across the parking lot in front of a car. Thought he would run off when I walked over to where he was hiding. Nope, he ran right up to me.

 

[#1California Chick]

Quote:
Coyote

I LOVE

your attitude!!! You are such a GREAT role model for others that are suffering from cancer!!! Your sisters and neices should be VERY PROUD of you!!!

I wish you the best and am sending prayers and thoughts your way!!

I love your new kitty!!

Cindy

 

[Lovebug]

So sorry you had to hear those dreaded words..it's cancer...I was diagnosed with stage II breast cancer two years ago.. It was an aggressive type so last June I had a full hysterectomy to prevent it spreading.
I had it done laproscopically and the recovery really wasn't that bad, I just had to be careful to not lift too much too soon. I'm feeling great now minus the hot flashes...
Praying for you and for wisdom for your doctors

 

[#1California Chick]

Lovebug

Welcome to BYC!!!

Cindy

 

[miraclz5]

To CoyoteMagic and NurseELB,
Thank you for sharing your journeys...your strength....and your courage...for reminding all of us of the power of the human spirit! Life for all is too short and no one knows...EVERYONE should remember to seize the day, to make the most of every minute of every day, to live life to the fullest! Know that you are both in my thoughts and prayers!