So....talk about.....CANCER SUPPORT THREAD !!

[Mamachic1967]

Thanks Phil. I am grateful for your responses to my posts. I hope you're having a better day today. You said Mayo gave up on you, what is that? It sounds like you've been through a lot. That is something; 20 years, you are def a survivor.
I'm doing my best but I have myself convinced that I deserve this, it's a punishment. But my husband keeps telling me it's not and there is nothing I did to be punished for. I'm still in shock, denying mostly that I have 'it'. I can't believe it, I think they're wrong yet I have so many questions and I'm very anxious waiting for my bone marrow results. I didn't feel well yesterday and on those days I get scared and very worried. I read through the binder the hospital gave me and it made me worry more and have more questions. Like if they find it's in my bone marrow wouldn't that be Stage 4 not Stage 1? I lost a brother to hep B and mom had hep B years ago. I keep trying to make some connection to find out why and yet I keep coming back to the same thing; I've battled with my health since I was born or it's something I've done to cause this infection in my blood, there's no other reason. I am very confused, tired and sore and I want it to stop. Thanks Phil, sorry for being negative, I feel all mixed up emotionally.

 

[Mamachic1967]

Thank you oldhenslikedogs, hope I got it right. I have trouble figuring out this site still and didn't realize people had responded to my posts so I appologize for not answering you back sooner.

Thank you for your message. I am so sorry you had to deal with it yourself. You are stronger than I could be. I felt calmer reading your message and realized that ther people have felt like I do and that brings some comfort. I just told my dad and siblings over a week ago. Everyone remained calm like my husband and son and it bothers me but I understand they are trying to stay strong for me but really all I want is for someone to hold me and cry with me. Now it feels like because no one has gotten upset that it's no big deal. I'm not as sick as I am told I am. I don't know. I have a video conference appointment with my Oncologist this Thursday where my husband and I will find out if it's confirmed that it's Follicular Lymphoma and if it's in my bones. My nurse told me that he doctor will talk to me about everything on Thursday. I am still scared but find it easier believing that the tests are wrong.

 

[LittleLakePhil]

Oh I'm sorry for your fear. It really is the worst part.
I too have dealt with health issues my entire life.
Seems a pattern with alot of us.
The reason that Noone is freaking out is for your sake.... I know when they are alone the tears are flowing.... Heck i don't even know you and I'm crying.
Just hold on tight you are not alone.... We are here with you.
Talk away.... We're the ones you can talk to when you are alone.... You can come here and vent.... Or just say what's on your mind but you don't want to say to anyone else for fear you might upset them.

But seriously they are putting up a strong front for you..... Phil

 

[LittleLakePhil]

Sumi?

 

[sumi]

Sumi?

Still waiting… I was hoping yesterday would bring news, but there was nothing. Our mail comes early, so within the next hour… Hopefully today. If not I think I will phone the hospital a bit later and ask them to just tell me, so I know. This waiting story really sucks.

 

[sumi]

@Mamachic1967 the easiest way to catch new replies to threads you posted on, beside subscribing to the threads (which never worked for me), is to check your recent activity in your profile. See here's yours...



The red blocks/numbers the number of unread replies to threads you posted on.

Back on topic… I went through two hospitals with my first rodeo and the second one gave me a fantastic booklet on cancer and the emotional and psychological aspect. It was a wonderful, reassuring read. I'll go look for it a bit later today and see if I can find an online version for you. It may help you feel better, I know it did me. I was ALL over the place emotionally after my diagnosis, from flat out denying that I was sick, to angry, to wanting to give up, to wanting to fight it and being as positive as I could be, under circumstances. We all handle this differently, but what I read in the booklet told me that the feelings were completely normal and that helped me at the time.

When are your bone marrow results due? Hopefully not too much longer…

 

[Outpost JWB]

Sumi, I've had a lot going on at home & was super worried I missed the big reveal! I can't believe you've had to wait this long . I'm praying for you. Hoping today...... .

 

[sumi]

I went to my doctor's and got them to call the hospital and find out what's going on. Apparently they are waiting for the doctor there to sign off the results, before they post it to me. And no, they won't say anything about it, I'll just have to wait a few more days by the looks of things before I'll know what it is. I've been waiting nearly 7 weeks now, but heck why tell us over the phone? It's not like I'm worried about this?!? Yep, I'm a bit mad, just a bit… I think my doctor may give it another go and see, he phoned the hospital for me last time, when they left me hanging like this too. It's so frustrating and stressful.

 

[oldhenlikesdogs]

I went to my doctor's and got them to call the hospital and find out what's going on. Apparently they are waiting for the doctor there to sign off the results, before they post it to me. And no, they won't say anything about it, I'll just have to wait a few more days by the looks of things before I'll know what it is. I've been waiting nearly 7 weeks now, but heck why tell us over the phone? It's not like I'm worried about this?!? Yep, I'm a bit mad, just a bit… I think my doctor may give it another go and see, he phoned the hospital for me last time, when they left me hanging like this too. It's so frustrating and stressful. 

It's like they have no understanding about what the waiting does to someone, it's so frustrating for you.

 

[oldhenlikesdogs]

Thank you oldhenslikedogs, hope I got it right. I have trouble figuring out this site still and didn't realize people had responded to my posts so I appologize for not answering you back sooner.

Thank you for your message. I am so sorry you had to deal with it yourself. You are stronger than I could be. I felt calmer reading your message and realized that ther people have felt like I do and that brings some comfort. I just told my dad and siblings over a week ago. Everyone remained calm like my husband and son and it bothers me but I understand they are trying to stay strong for me but really all I want is for someone to hold me and cry with me. Now it feels like because no one has gotten upset that it's no big deal. I'm not as sick as I am told I am. I don't know. I have a video conference appointment with my Oncologist this Thursday where my husband and I will find out if it's confirmed that it's Follicular Lymphoma and if it's in my bones. My nurse told me that he doctor will talk to me about everything on Thursday. I am still scared but find it easier believing that the tests are wrong.

You have a lot on your mind.