So, would you be offended, POed or what?

[Bettacreek]

Alright, this is going to be long winded, about my relationship. Anyways, the BF came home awhile back and mentioned a wiffle-ball tournament with some guys from work. They're getting a pig, kegs of beer, and will all be camping over doing a two man team tournament, with a bunch of teams. No big deal, right? Well, he then invited his brother to the tournament. Here's where I was put off... I jokingly said, "well why wasn't I invited?" and he came back with a ridiculous excuse. He claimed that "we're going camping the weekend before that, so I figured that you didn't want to take the boys to their dad's house two weekends in a row". First of all, that was the first that I had EVER heard that we were going camping, and second of all, my mother had off the weekend of the games, and would have loved to watch the boys. Now, that actually raised some red flags with me, so I waited a few days and brought it up, asking why I wasn't invited, being serious this time. Again, he says the same excuse. I then mentioned that mom could watch them. A few days later, he says something else about the games, saying how HE is going (ie, I'm not invited), so I pressed it again, and he says "well, I didn't know that you wanted to go". I said that of course I wanted to go. It came up once more, and I got upset. He said on Wednesday to take the boys to their dad's place for the weekend. NOW, yesterday, he says, "your mom is going out of town this weekend, I told her that I was going to the games, but you were free, will you house sit for your mom?" I flipped a nutter. I asked him why he was so darn adamant about me not going. He came up with several excuses... "you don't know anyone there", which, yes, I DO, and I've been to these things before, so I'm slowly getting to know more and more people there. There was also "well, I have to go down late at night" SO?! I'm home alone now, since he told me to take the boys to their dad's, I don't have to worry about dragging kids out, plus, we can stay at my mom's or my sister's house until we have to go start the pig, making the trip shorter. There were a few more lame arse excuses. Finally, I told him that he was being fishy and I wanted a straight answer from him. He asked how it was fishy, I responded with, "LYING about it and being so darned adamant about NOT letting me go". I have a STRONG gut feeling when something's up or someone is lying to me, and my guts have been churning over this for awhile now. I don't feel that he would ever cheat on me or anything of that sort, I trust him there, but he's been lying about something with this stupid thing. Now, he says "I just want a break from you once in awhile, when I'm home, we're always together". I still call BS. I asked him why on earth he would choose a party to start wanting a break from me. He had no viable excuse, just "well, it came up and I thought, well, I could use this as a break". Meanwhile, he threw a fit because I didn't want to go on ONE mountain ride with him to grab his game camera out of the woods. I had other plans, and couldn't do both, so I went with the first plans, especially since he could have picked up the camera at any given day/time. So, if he really wanted a break from me, you'd think that he'd be relieved that I didn't want to go on a mountain ride with him. Anyways, he's been saying that I can come along to the party, but as soon as it calms down, he says that "HE'S going to the party", to make it clear that I'm actually NOT invited. I know that this sounds so stupid, but, it's not necessarily the fact that I'm not invited, but the fact that he's inviting other people to go instead AND that he's LYING and adamant about not inviting me.

 

[Boyd]

I think he just wants a weekend with his buds drinking beer and recharging his batteries.

 

[Cindiloohoo]

Well you could just let him go by himself and see what happens. I'd be suspicious, but quiet. Those who do things underhanded get caught. Give the guy some rope...and hope he DOES NOT hang himself. Meanwhile you have a night out to plan...better get on it!

 

[Tala]

I'd probably follow him, but I'm sneaky like that.
To me, it's one thing to be not really invited coz we didn't think you'd want to be with us nasty guys drinkin beer, it's another thing to be ADAMANTLY NOT invited even if you do want to come.

If you don't think he's cheating, maybe he's smoking or doing something that he doesn't want you to know about????

 

[Bettacreek]

Quote:
I can certainly understand that. Like I said, I wasn't bothered by it at all, until he gave me a lie for an excuse. If that's all he wanted, then why not just say so from the get-go? I'm actually a pretty understanding person, I've been married and divorced already, and I KNOW what it's like to want a break from someone when you're around them constantly. But, I don't like lying. Scratch that, lying is unacceptable. There's no reason for it. If my butt looks like a grotesque, lumpy grub or something, I want to know that, I don't want to be told that it looks great! He has no problem telling me when the food sucks, the laundry is stiff, a pair of pants gives me a muffin-top, etc. So, why would this be any different?

 

[Wifezilla]

Why in the heck are you two together? Seriously?

 

[Bettacreek]

Quote:
LOL! I would never follow him. Personally, if I thought that I had to follow him, I wouldn't think that he's worth my time and energy, but I'm cold-hearted. I know that he's not smoking or anything like that. That's what bothers me, he's lying to me, and I don't know WHY. I'm sure it's not about something major, but, it's the fact that he is lying in the first place.

 

[TipsyDog]

Quote:

I know everyone is different, but we've been married almost 25 years and we've never "taken a break" or even wanted to. I'd let him go and keep quiet about it. Good luck!

 

[SarahFair]

I would also sneaky sneaky him!
Follow him!!!
He called your mom?!? Somethings up!

 

[debilorrah]

Oh good grief! Do you people really think their relationship is like this all the time? They are together because they care about each other and she is here ranting because we all need to rant about the stupid stuff men do sometimes. The OP does NOT need to clarify to BYC members why she is with someone.

Ms. Betta, dear. Plan a girls night out and have a grand hangover when he gets back.