The male isn't being mean, he's afraid. And he's telling/warning the female that you are a predator and probably about to eat her. It's my understanding that this is pretty common in parrots. Ask anyone who's had a parrot bond to them and ended up the recipient of 'warning bites' every time someone else walks into the room.
From your description you have a hand-reared female and a parent-reared male. As was mentioned, she won't lay unless she feels completely comfortable and safe. Are you wanting to breed them?
Patience is your friend when it comes to birds. I'm assuming these are inside birds? Sit beside the cage and read a book. Or put it beside the computer when you're on. Allow them (but particularly the male) to watch you when you're not attempting to interact with them. Talk to them LOTS. SING! All animals, but especially birds, love it when you sing to them. Does the male sing/whistle at all? Encourage him when he does; whistle with him. Let him see that you're not the cockatiel-eating-monster after all. <3
The other thing (in my experience!) is to always approach/talk to him with your hands behind your back. Hands are TERRIFYING. Faces not so much. Stepping up onto a stick is often doable/preferable for the bird. I have several of my flock who will not step-up onto hands, but the stick or branch is fine. Remember, if they haven't been hand-reared, they have to fight every one of their natural instincts to trust you enough to step-up or whatever it is you're asking them to do.
In my experience, cockatiels are fast learners and , like all birds, LOVE routine. Good luck with your beautiful birds!
