Don't mean to whine but it's just hard some days to keep going as if everything is fine and is going to be fine. We are and have been for a long time, mostly a one income family. I gave up my career when we were early on married to take care of our son who is autistic. At the time insurance wouldn't cover any help or therapy or anything. Only problem is my husband has never kept a job for long. Four years is the longest he's done anything. The trouble is he doesn't seem to have any desire to find work either but he does help around the house, he takes care of the chickens, and helps out a lot in the garden, etc ... And all of that would be great if we had a farm and could make some income from the birds or garden but the last time I checked the city wouldn't take eggs, lettuce, and rabbit meat for their bill. I just keep going on and on and on working harder and harder to make our garden productive and come up with frugal meals and cost saving habits around the house and pretending it's all good. But the reality is, I'm tired of struggling so hard for so little. I can't do anything that I really find enjoyable because it takes so much energy to just get through each day keeping our heads above water. I work part time and have for ten years now cleaning people's homes even though I have a college degree. I don't make much and what I do make goes for paying bills. I haven't even had new clothes beyond socks and underwear for over five years now. Even my Christmas bonus's get spent on the household. Going back to what I was doing before I got married isn't a reality because it is technology based and I would have to go back to school and do training to get back into it ... but I don't have the money to take the training. Plus it is a career that has no job security is our economy. Even my classmates from college that didn't take a break in work are struggling to keep employed right now. And changing to a different career would also require more education ... which would take money ... It just seems like a never ending loop of hopelessness. Our son is in college now and does fine for the most part but still struggles from time to time. It doesn't help that he has the stress of having to live within what he gets from scholarships since we can't help him at all. And we haven't been able to buy him a car so he has to rely on others to get around which is not easy for him to do. We also have a 15 year old daughter who is now ready to drive among many other things. I kept thinking all along that when my son was older and didn't need my one on one help so much, that I could go back to work, that I could have a career, that life would get better ... but now is that time and I find I'm just old and tired and used up and don't feel like I have anything left to offer. Funny thing is ... most people who know me don't have any idea about the realities of my life. They see us with our birds and garden and say they're jealous of our greenhouse and recycling efforts in building our new chicken coop. One of my friends was jealous that my husband helped build our clay bread oven when she couldn't get her husband to help her with anything and messaged me asking how to get her husband to help ... and all I could think was "why would anyone be jealous of me?". I feel like a duck in a fast moving stream ... feathers all smooth on top but feet paddling like mad under the water.