Top 10 Excuses for Sleeping at Work
1. Someone mustve put decaf in the wrong pot.
2. I was working smarter not harder.
3. Whew! I musta left the top off the liquid paper.
4. Oh, I wasnt sleeping! I was meditating on our mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm!
5. I was testing the keyboard for drool-resistance.
6. Boy, that cold medicine I took last night just wont wear off!
7. Im actually doing a Stress Level Elimination Exercise Plan (SLEEP) I learned at that seminar you made me attend.
8. I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress. Do you discriminate against people who practice Yoga?
9. They told me at the blood bank this might happen.
10. Geez, boss, I thought you were gone for the day.
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Three mothers are sitting on a park bench in Miami Beach talking about (what else?) how much their sons love them.
Sadie says, You know the Chagall painting hanging in my living room? My son, Arnold, bought that for me for my 75th birthday. What a good boy he is, and how much he loves his mother.
Minnie says, You call that love? You know the Eldorado Cadillac I just got for Mothers Day? Thats from my son Bernie. What a doll.
Shirley says, Thats nothing. You know my son Stanley? Hes in analysis with a psychoanalyst on Park Avenue, no less. Five session a week$200 a hour, and what does he talk about? Me.
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Top 10 Reasons God Created Eve
1. God worried that Adam would frequently become lost in the garden because he would not ask for directions.
2.God knew that Adam would one day require someone to locate and hand him the TV remote.
3.God knew that Adam would never go out and get himself a new fig leaf when his seat wore out and would therefore need Eve to get one for him.
4.God knew that Adam would never be able to make a doctors, dentist or haircut appointment for himself.
5.God knew that Adam would never be able to remember which night to put the garbage on the curb.
6.God knew that if the world was to be populated, men would never be able to handle the pain and discomfort of childbearing.
7.As Keeper of the Garden, Adam would never remember where he left his tools.
8.Adam needed someone to blame his troubles on when God caught him hiding in the garden.
9.As the Bible says, It is not good for man to be alone!
10.When God finished creating Adam, He stepped back, scratched His head and said, I can do better than that.
Haha
1. Someone mustve put decaf in the wrong pot.
2. I was working smarter not harder.
3. Whew! I musta left the top off the liquid paper.
4. Oh, I wasnt sleeping! I was meditating on our mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm!
5. I was testing the keyboard for drool-resistance.
6. Boy, that cold medicine I took last night just wont wear off!
7. Im actually doing a Stress Level Elimination Exercise Plan (SLEEP) I learned at that seminar you made me attend.
8. I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress. Do you discriminate against people who practice Yoga?
9. They told me at the blood bank this might happen.
10. Geez, boss, I thought you were gone for the day.
--------------------------------
Three mothers are sitting on a park bench in Miami Beach talking about (what else?) how much their sons love them.
Sadie says, You know the Chagall painting hanging in my living room? My son, Arnold, bought that for me for my 75th birthday. What a good boy he is, and how much he loves his mother.
Minnie says, You call that love? You know the Eldorado Cadillac I just got for Mothers Day? Thats from my son Bernie. What a doll.
Shirley says, Thats nothing. You know my son Stanley? Hes in analysis with a psychoanalyst on Park Avenue, no less. Five session a week$200 a hour, and what does he talk about? Me.
------------------------
Top 10 Reasons God Created Eve
1. God worried that Adam would frequently become lost in the garden because he would not ask for directions.
2.God knew that Adam would one day require someone to locate and hand him the TV remote.
3.God knew that Adam would never go out and get himself a new fig leaf when his seat wore out and would therefore need Eve to get one for him.
4.God knew that Adam would never be able to make a doctors, dentist or haircut appointment for himself.
5.God knew that Adam would never be able to remember which night to put the garbage on the curb.
6.God knew that if the world was to be populated, men would never be able to handle the pain and discomfort of childbearing.
7.As Keeper of the Garden, Adam would never remember where he left his tools.
8.Adam needed someone to blame his troubles on when God caught him hiding in the garden.
9.As the Bible says, It is not good for man to be alone!
10.When God finished creating Adam, He stepped back, scratched His head and said, I can do better than that.
Haha
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