Some ppl need to be smacked! [rant]

[Break an Egg]

Okay my friend is in one of those clinical trials where they give you drugs and they test the effects on you, and it is an in-patient study so she has been there all week.

She has a 5 yr old daughter and her husband works (hardly) so I've offered to watch her little girl all week (for free) as a favor because I know it would be hard on her to be away from her daughter for a whole week.

My friend is getting 4,000 dollars for the study and they are planning on using the money to buy some land in Oklahoma and start to build a house. (IMO, I don't think the money will last that long and the whole thing is a pipe dream) I keep my opinions to myself though, I don't want to burst anyone's bubble.

So yesterday, I was watching the little girl along with my 2 year old. She really had a hard time listening and following directions the whole day. I and to top it off, she slapped my daughter. My daughter had a big red mark on her face.

I was irate, to say the least. I asked her very calmly what she did. She kept trying to tell me what my daughter did first, I asked her again what she did, and again she started to tell me "but Maya was..." I finally got her to tell me what she did and she said she spanked Maya (my daughter)

Of course I wanted to spank her, but I don't spank, not even my daughter but I did yell, and put her in the corner.

Well, I went through all of this, and later her dad picked her up, and I didn't mention how she acted, I have watched her many times, and for some reason I find it hard to say, "well she was horrible all day" when she usually is, she usually hits my daughter, and says it was an accident.

I was supposed to watch her again today, although I was not looking forward to it, it seemed like her dad was running late, I called and he said, "the babysitting is over, I took off all weekend". I asked what day my friend will get out, and what time. He was very short with me, and said he hates talking on the phone, he had to go.

After all that, I didn't get a thank you, a nice word, nothing. He could have called and said he didn't need me today, but he didn't even do that. I really felt like an idiot for being so nice, but I know I did this for my friend and not him.

My husband seems to think that I should just tell my friend how he was acting with me, but I don't want to put our relationship at risk.

 

[d.k]

* Gotta tell ya-- I would watch my back!!! This smells like trouble to me! |

 

[Break an Egg]

The family came over to my house last weekend, with food, after I had already cooked dinner. They cooked their food, and didn't bother to even help clean up, let alone wash a dish. I was left with a bunch of dishes to do.

I think my problem is I'm too nice, these ppl know a sucker when they see one I guess.

 

[jmk3482]

I feel your pain because I tend to be overly hospitable towards people as well. But when it comes to my house... this is MY house, and I will prompty throw your butt out the door if you don't respect me, my husband, my pets, or my things. I just have to put my foot down about that. I welcome everyone into my house but you have to retain that welcome yourself. Just because I have a welcome doormat, doesn't mean I AM one.

 

[texaschickmama]

You need to be honest with them. Tell them exactly how their daughter acts. I know I would want to know if my daughter hit another child. That has to be dealt with immediately or else it will go on like it has. Telling them the truth is not being rude or mean, it's the truth if they don't like it, then they should disipline their child.

 

[arlee453]

I have to ask....what's the value of a friendship where their daughter drives you nuts, they come over and leave a mess and can't say Thank you??

A 'friend' who has a pattern of this type of thing is no friend to you. I'd distance myself from them.

 

[Redfeathers]

I agree with Arlee. I did daycare for 13 years and met the best and the worst in parenting. I befriended all of them however and learned my lesson well. Be selective on whom you call friend and even more on whom you call a "close" friend. There are those that will use you over and over again. It took me way too long to realize that not everyone is good. Now that I don't get too close to people anymore other then my "good" friends, I am far more content and at peace.
If this gal is a close friend, she will understand and not be angry when you tell her what happened. Otherwise, if she gets mad and storms off...trust me, you are better off. Good luck!

 

[DrakeMaiden]

The daughter picked that violent behavior up somewhere, or at least learned it was "ok," and honestly the way the dad was acting makes me wonder. . . . If I were you I might ask my friend if everything is ok at home, or at the very least tell her her daughter has some self-control issues.

 

[texaschickmama]

Kids do hit, that's part of testing their boundaries to see what they can get away with. My kids have done it and they have 2 loving parents. I would hope that I would not be judged by my kids bad behavior. I do everything I can to instill in them values, morals, love, BUT sometimes being a kid gets in the way of all that.

I would just inform her how her daughter acts with yours. That's all. If she feels you are a friend then maybe she will take some advice, or maybe just talk about it, if not, and she gets mad about you telling her, good riddence.

And where do I sign up for one of these "trials". 4000 bucks and a week vacation from cooking, cleaning, being mommy 24/7, GOSH sign me up.

 

[DrakeMaiden]

Not saying you are wrong, Texaschickmama, but I grew up never hitting anyone other than my own brother. I would never have hit a child that was younger than myself. How can a kid grow up thinking that is ok?