Someone explain pathological liars to me...

BeardedChick

Songster
11 Years
Jun 13, 2008
2,341
9
191
The Witness Protection Program
I have been thinking about the topic because my idiot relative, the one I asked not come back on my property, has always lied about thing since he was really little. Even things that he got caught redhanded doing - he lied and said he didn't do it. My grandma even washed his mouth out with soap for lying, and you had to be REALLY naughty for grandma to do that.

So now, at 30 years old, my brother asked him what happened when I asked him to leave from my pond and he lied and said he was there all by himself and I just ran him off.

My brother and I are close and he knows I'm not lying - there were at least 6 people there that day. Plus my husband was there & saw everything, too.

So I can't figure out, why would my other relative lie about it when he should KNOW he is not going to be believed?

Does a pathalogical liar believe their own lies or do they remember the incident the way their story goes? Or do they know they will be caught in their lie and just not care?

I'm so curious about the psychology behind it. I can well understand lying if you think you won't get caught. But after you've been caught?
 
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agnes_day

Songster
11 Years
Aug 29, 2008
3,183
3
211
oklahoma
i have a son like that. and whats worse, he is the worst liar on earth, hands down. the best part is how he will try and convince me that i gave him permission to do whatever it is he has been busted doing, like he is doing some sort of jedi mind trick on me.
 

kees

Songster
12 Years
Feb 5, 2008
1,357
7
194
Some people might be manipulative, while those who justify their actions without remorse, are probably sociopaths.

My three cents,

Suzy
 

PamsPride

Songster
11 Years
Nov 19, 2008
496
0
129
OHIO
I know a couple of people like that...one being my sister. She has a nervous laugh too and will laugh at weird stuff or things that she did that are not funny.
With my sister I think she tells lies so much that she actually believes them. She will lie about stuff that there really is no reason in the world to lie about.
 

debilorrah

The Great Guru of Yap
Premium Feather Member
11 Years
Aug 25, 2008
39,693
124
423
The Carpal Tunnel Rehab Center
I divorced because my ex was and still is a pathological liar. Even something as simple as what we had for dinner that night. We eat steak I would hear him on the phone telling soemone we went out for lobster.
I believe it is a mental illness.
 

lisahaschickens

Songster
10 Years
Feb 25, 2009
1,018
23
161
Vancouver, WA
My experience with and knowledge of pathological liars says that they simply cannot help but lie. Some develop the tendency to eventually believe their own lies, others know they are lies but don't care - I think it's chemical addiction. Lying can cause a thrill for some people, releasing endorphins and they become addicted to the high. Many pathological liars are harmless like a family member of mine... for example, there will be a box of cookies on the table. I walk out of the room to use the bathroom and come back to have a cookie and the box is no longer on the table. this girl is the only other person in the house and she has been sitting on the couch 8 feet away from the table the entire time. So I say, "did you move the cookies? I was going to have one." She says, "what cookies?" I say, "the ones on the table that we were both just eating." She says, "I didn't see any cookies." Etc, etc. Even in harmless situations, it can be enough to frustrate the ever-living poop out of you. So, I feel for you.

Of course, in the case of your issue with the family/neighbors... it may just be a case of wacked-out drug addicts' trying to cover their own butts and doing an extremely poor job because their brains are fried...
 

Dar

Crowing
11 Years
Jul 31, 2008
5,929
30
251
there can be many reasons for the repleted lying behavior

people with Narcissistic personality disorder tell many lies but they in a lot of cases have no control they can actually believe what they are saying is true.
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/narcissistic-personality-disorder/ds00652

Pathological Liar

A pathological liar is usually defined as someone who lies incessantly to get their way and does so with little concern for others. Pathological lying is often viewed as coping mechanism developed in early childhood and it is often associated with some other type of mental health disorder. A pathological liar is often goal-oriented (i.e., lying is focused - it is done to get one's way). Pathological liars have little regard or respect for the rights and feelings of others. A pathological liar often comes across as being manipulative, cunning and self-centered.

Compulsive Liar

A compulsive liar is defined as someone who lies out of habit. Lying is their normal and reflexive way of responding to questions. Compulsive liars bend the truth about everything, large and small. For a compulsive liar, telling the truth is very awkward and uncomfortable while lying feels right. Compulsive lying is usually thought to develop in early childhood, due to being placed in an environment where lying was necessary. For the most part, compulsive liars are not overly manipulative and cunning (see, Pathological Liar), rather they simply lie out of habit - an automatic response which is hard to break and one that takes its toll on a relationship


(One of the facilities I worked in was a mental health facility. In there we had all kinds of patients with varying degrees of mental illness. from what I observed just from sitting in on the group therapy, there is a HUGE link between lying and being abused as a child or adult. A lot of the patients recall being abused and having to lie to mom or dad and minimize what just happened to lessen the severity of the pending "discipline/abuse" or in the case of adults of abuse they had to cover up to the abuser what was going on as a fear/coping mechanism)
 
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Katy

Flock Mistress
12 Years
Jun 29, 2007
16,317
71
331
Kansas~50+ yrs of chickens
My husband has a cousin who is a liar. I truely think he doesn't even know the difference anymore. We can always tell when he's lying because of his speech pattern.
 

AHappychick

Wanna-be Farmer
11 Years
Dec 16, 2008
5,772
35
299
westchester
i dont know it takes an excellent memory to be a good liar, something I dont have. Luckily I dont have any family members who are (but then again it really is just my sister and I, but My best friend from childhood was. She was always great fun too and I just tried to overlook the lieng thing since at first it was harmless. But as we got older it became twisted and evil at times or at the very least as selfish as possible, so I had to cut her off. years later after my G-ma passed and I moved back to town she contacted me and we became friends again, only she had not changed at all and again I ebded the frienship. I have since learned to stay as far away from those types of people as possible and that it is never harmless. Just my 2 cents lol
 

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