Sometimes I get angry!

MeatKing

Songster
10 Years
Sep 13, 2009
1,216
15
188
Near Ottawa Ontario Canada
So dh, who hasn't done one dish, since Saterday. Complained about kitchen being a mess! I am here, 1 hr. after he leaves for work. I make lunches, shower, feed kids, dress kids, put there where they need to be. (Do chickens chores/take care of dog)

In evening I get home about an hr before. I empty lunch cans, start supper, take care of dog, start fire, do chicken chores so yes I get home earlier, but I do things..

Anywhoo, I just got told, the house would be spotless if I just put away, the things I use.. He just found treasers on lazy boy. Yes I dropped the ball, on this one thing. But really, he has no idea, what goes on here. I just have 2 extra hrs. then him.. Grr.. I don't stop. Tweasers were there because dd 5 would not let me get splinter out. I tried 3 times, 3rd time, I left tools on table.. DD 3 played with them! Yes I should've put them away. But really. Spend at least a day in my shoes before you judge!

He says has it so much harder cause he leaves an hour before me, and gets home an hours after! Really, do you get home with tired, hungry kids, feed them, take dog out, water chickens/ get eggs. Start fire, get everyone in jammies. Do homework, Start his supper, and really you gonna complain about tweasers? AHh... He does work really hard.. but just thinks taking care of getting kids ready for day or night doesn't count.
He got ID'd at daycare to pick up DD, cause they don't know him. In over 5 years he's done 1 pick up.. Really, yes, If I put away those trweaser, our house would be spotless! yup.. lol

BTW, kitchen was not a huge mess.. A few dirty dishes, dishwasher was running. And garbage needed to be emptied. Really, cause if he saw what that kitchen put s out in one day.. So I'm on "not happy list" Really...
Wish me luck!
 
I totally understand! Days like that pop up every once in a while in my house as well. It's always rotten when you don't feel appreciated.
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are you kidding me,
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My Dh come home talking like that he and i would be tradin places for a week and he never wished that on nobody
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Sorry your not appriciated but mabe he needs to start doing things for himself for a while
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I guess i'd have ot show him how much you really dont do...
Take a break.. relax... let things go.. so he can see what all you REALLY do do...

That or pop him in his mouth the next time he runs it... (thats my preferred method..
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Yea he needs to see reality. My husband has a high stress job and he goes to work to relax. He knows how much I do and how much pressure I am under at home. He even offered to watch kids when he is home so I can get a job and relax somewhere. Its tempting. My parents would probably freak that I am not available but I love dreaming about 15 whole hours a week where I am not at home and with semi sane adults. Make a comparison list. This is what i do and this is what you do. I did the honey do list once early in our marriage and my husband fussed a bit. I showed him my list and asked if he wanted to trade. He shut up pretty fast.
 
Trust me I know those days well. Here is a small joke/story to make it all better (and an idea to try out
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A man came home from work and found his 3 children outside, still in their pyjamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn around garden. The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the house and no sign of the dog, walking in the door, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, the throw rug was wadded against one wall. In the front room the TV was on loudly with the cartoon channel, the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing. In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door. He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she might be ill, or that something serious had happened. He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the bathroom door. As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soap and more toys strewn over the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls. As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the bed in her pyjamas, reading a novel. She looked up at him, smiled and asked how his day went.
He looked at her bewildered and asked, "What happened here today?"
She again smiled and answered, "You know every day when you come home from work and you ask me what in the world do I do all day?"
''Yes." was his incredulous reply
She answered, "Well, today I didn't do it!"
 
Switch places.It is the only way he will really understand.On a day you are both off he needs to tend to the kids,house,and animals.Cook and clean.Better yet he does this on a vacation.Atleast 5-7 days will give him a far better *feel* for your life than one day. I can not imagine doing all you do and working outside the home as well. If I worked then I would insist all family duties/household needs be split with the spouse. Ofcourse I know that RARELY ever happens.

Sometimes my dh tells me I should get a job,and my response is," I will get a job when you are home daily to help tend to the family and house. I am happy to work outside the home again,but that means you need to work inside the home. I would need help with the kids,and when they are sick we need to take turns calling off work. If you didn't help it would be like I was a single parent.Not really fair is it to expect me to do it all?" My offer is still open to my dh that if I work he takes on half of the family duties.So far he is avoiding the subject.

<<<< Make a comparison list. This is what i do and this is what you do. I did the honey do list once early in our marriage and my husband fussed a bit. I showed him my list and asked if he wanted to trade. He shut up pretty fast.>>>>>

The comparision list is a good idea.
 
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Now that would be an excellent idea!

Oh I was on strike and hubby and dd didn't like it one bit. After a few days of it, they picked up after themselves and able to fix simple meals.
 

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