Sometimes I just don't understand people....animal re-homing rant

[Dar]

I have a friend that bought her son a bunny for easter last year and you guessed it...she gave him away in june when he became to big

at christmas she bought him a $1500.00 Persian cat. Had the cat declawed (i dont agree with but thats a different rant) and neutered. every few weeks when she has to go get him groomed she mumbles and groans that this darn cat is way to expensive she needs to have him sedated for grooming.

well this easter she wanted chicks and ducklings.

she wanted me to take them when they were no longer cute and fluffy

HECK NO!!!! i am not going to encourage that behavior. so i lied...lol I told her that they are noisy and stinky, they will keep her up all hours of the night peeping they would wreck her house

o well it was in the best interest of the poor chicks and ducks her son is not the nicest kid on the block

now she calls me at 7am and asks me why is her cat peeing all over the place. I told her to take him to the vet it may be a UTI. well she calles the vet and the vet confirms the UTI suspicion but also adds that he also has FUS (feline urological syndrome) crystals in the urine. She is all happy now cause they may have to put the cat down because "there is no chance in heck that she is spending $1000 on a surgery for a cat!"

This is why just anyone should be able to own a pet

 

[luvmychicknkids]

I am just going to make this clear one more time since not many here seem to get it. I am a military wife. My husband is active duty. I have lived without him for the past 4 years. When he finally comes home it will have been 5 years. Now, for all those saying how tough it can be for a military family, I KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! More than most in fact. My point was, I offered these people assistance because I have been there. Instead of politely saying "thanks but due to other circumstances:.....whatever, I got a snippy reply that is a classic for the spoiled brat military wife and yeah, I believe she thinks she is far too good to be bothered taking care of "HIS" dog while he neglects her.

 

[Wifezilla]

Looks like most of us got that at least

 

[luvmychicknkids]

Quote:
Yes, you are right and I should have said "a few" instead of how i did.

Just seems to be several saying "you have no idea how hard it can be......" and I am thinking HUH?????????

 

[Hobbley_Farm]

Well if you're refering to me, when I was typing my post it wasn't to anyone in particular. And yes, I did "get" that you are a military wife. I suppose I was just offering up my thoughts on the matter. She shouldn't have been rude to you. That was wrong. But I remember some days around or during deployements that I felt overwhelmed and stressed out and I am sure I was short or snippy with people I shouldn't have been. You could be right on with her situation. I just have no idea. I tend to feel sympothetic and try to understand the emotional side of things when military families are involved. Just as you being seperated from your husband for 4/5 years garners my respect for you having stood by him and kept the home fires burning. Everyone involved in the military either by joinging or a family member knows that the military is a world of it's own. Not all military families are nice, I know this. And there is a reason why there are sayings about military wives or military brats. But I try to judge each situation seperately. I neither meant to offend anyone or step on anyones toes. I just felt like stating my opinion and was attempting to be tactful about it.

 

[WingingIt]

Quote:
I understood what you said. We're getting close to retirement so I, too, have seen plenty of military members and spouses that should NOT be anywhere near the military because they can't handle the reality of it, they think it's going to be all romance and love letters. However, you yourself said you sent a reply that was not what they asked for (I know the intent was good) and they sent you one back saying that it didn't help them (could have been worded better, too). Then you jump to they are irresponsible, etc. Some of us just pointed out that maybe there were other factors to consider. Maybe the spouse recently had a stroke (as a mil. wife I know here did - in her early 30s) or something else catastrophic. We were agreeing that there are stupid people in the military just like everywhere else but there could be extenuating circumstances, too.

I think it's rude to say that 'people don't get it' just because someone offers another side to consider. And yes, being separated from your spouse while they serve in another location for years is hard - but you are not the only one who's done that. So saying you know more about military life and people than 'most, in fact' may or may not be true, but it's insulting to the rest of us military families to have you say it and try and discount our experiences just because they don't agree with what you want to say right now.

I know this sounds really grumpy, I don't mean it to. I've reread and rewritten it a few times trying to get my point across. I'm not trying to fight, but I, personally, think it's good to get many opinions/sides/possibilities and when you post on a public forum you are certainly going to get that. Then it seems that those of us who also have lots of military life experience but didn't agree with you 100% get jumped on for 'just not getting it.' That's insulting to those of us that took the time to read it all and respond and it's insulting to our intelligence. We 'got it.' We just didn't agree with jumping 100% to the same conclusion that you did.


ETA: If it really is a case of her just not wanting to take care of 'his' dog then I'm GLAD they are looking for a good home for it because she wouldn't take good care of it after he leaves. He'll probably wake up and realize that later on - after he's back from deployment and she's spent every cent and is pregnant from her new boyfriend, because, yep, that happens, too, as you know.

 

[luvmychicknkids]

My main isssue with this particular woman was her attitude.....and yeah, anytime there is a deployment and a PCS there is a major level of stress. However, if I EVER had a fellow military wife write me and say "hey, I have been there. Is there a way I can help you not have to lose this beloved animal" I would make darn sure I acted polite. Her attitude is enough to scream very loudly that she is just a nasty person from the start. So, what I am trying to say is, this WAS judged separately and I found her to be rude and hateful and her poor husband almost in tears at the thought of re-homing the dog he loves.

I am sure I have done my share of being rude to people when stressed, but never when they politely offered help.


ETA.......I am sorry if the "more than most" comment sounded rude. I certainly don't mean more than all or that I am somehow a special case. I do know, however, that the majority of military families have not only seen their member 8 weeks out of 5 years. Some, yes, but not generally the ones that are willing to give up as easy as this woman in the ad was doing.

 

[WingingIt]

Quote:
That right there says tons about their marriage. He's probably going to have a big wake-up call at some point in the future. Some military spouses do mature into the 'role' but lots more don't and it sounds like she has no interest except looking out for herself. Hope he's got some good buddies to lean on later on, probably going to need it.

ETA: Thanks for understanding what I was trying to say and that I wasn't trying to start a fight with you. I'm not so good at wording things in writing sometimes. What you wrote in your ETA is right on, too. She's giving up on the dog because (likely) it's going to require effort from her. Wouldn't place any odds on her sticking in there on their marriage while he's gone and out of touch and it gets rough.

 

[chickencoop31320]

Quote:
That right there says tons about their marriage. He's probably going to have a big wake-up call at some point in the future. Some military spouses do mature into the 'role' but lots more don't and it sounds like she has no interest except looking out for herself. Hope he's got some good buddies to lean on later on, probably going to need it.

I agree. Some wives can "deal" and some can't. Military life is hard on marriages, especially the newly married and those with the "spoiled" mentality.
When I lived on post for my husband's first deployment. There were 8 families living in our apartment buildings on our street. Of the 8 families: one wife found a new BF and got pregnant, one found a new BF and got divorced, one repeatedly cheated and became a drunk, one had a man living with her we thought was her husband when we moved in... only to find out later he was her BF and they had a child together while the husband was deployed.
I just want to add that I didn't ask these people their business, or listen to gossip, they came to me for advice and I told them straight up that I thought they were wrecking their lives. Some people just can't handle the deployments and such.

 

[DuckLady]

Let's please remember that tone and inflection don't come through in typed media. Also we all won't agree on things and just because we don't, it doens't mean other people's opinions are not valid.