Sometimes we're born into the wrong family **long**
- Thread starter kara_leigh
- Start date
We can't pick mour family but we do pick our friends who end up being closer than our family.
always remember you are an awesome person, send the cards on holidays but don't give into the emotional blackmail. As life goes on we with our own families start our own traditions . Preserve the good memories your husbands family has given you which is sooo very positive let their love fill your love cup. They are showing you how to be with your own children & give them the memories they deserve. Your move may be the best thing that could have happened . God never closes a window without opening a door.
You have so much love to give , give it to those who deserve it & won't try to belittle who you are becoming. Love & prayers to you
- Mar 14, 2011
- 4,324
- 8
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My parents were that bad, or worse. Happy days, they are both gone. Saved one sister who wanted the help. Couldn't save the other, her funeral was the last time I spoke to my parents. If they do not want to be adults, walk away for your own good.
My goodness, your family sounds like my husband's family.
He has 2 brothers and 2 sisters that have never met our children. They stopped caring about him and his life so he stopped trying. They all live out of state, including his parasitic, overbearing parents with their warped sense of entitlement. Yeah, we've been through a lot of what you're going through. It sucks.
My family has taken him in and I think he's grateful for them. I'm glad you have your in-laws.
Eliminate the toxic people in your life. Even if they're family.
Blessings-
Em
He has 2 brothers and 2 sisters that have never met our children. They stopped caring about him and his life so he stopped trying. They all live out of state, including his parasitic, overbearing parents with their warped sense of entitlement. Yeah, we've been through a lot of what you're going through. It sucks.
My family has taken him in and I think he's grateful for them. I'm glad you have your in-laws.
Eliminate the toxic people in your life. Even if they're family.
Blessings-
Em
good advice
Quote:
I just got some good advice... people can only stress you out as far as YOU LET them. Take a break from them. Look after what is BEST for YOU and YOUR husband. Take control of YOUR life. Avoid any contact. Maybe they will come around some day, if not, make your life better without them.
Quote:
I just got some good advice... people can only stress you out as far as YOU LET them. Take a break from them. Look after what is BEST for YOU and YOUR husband. Take control of YOUR life. Avoid any contact. Maybe they will come around some day, if not, make your life better without them.
Last edited:
Quote:
ESPICALLY if they are family! You will eventually feel so much better about it. They will accuse you of being being better than they are, and you can tell them "ThankGod"!
ESPICALLY if they are family! You will eventually feel so much better about it. They will accuse you of being being better than they are, and you can tell them "ThankGod"!
- Thread starter
- #28
Thank you everyone for the advice and encouragement. I really appreciate it.
We're to the point of only seeing them on holidays now, have been for the past couple years. I try to see them as little as possible. It still hurts when they leave me out. I don't know why. Since we moved so far away, we'll be seeing them even less b/c we won't be able to go back for every holiday...and there may be holidays that we go back just to see my inlaws and not tell them. I try to talk to my mother as little as possible, usually my husband does all of the correspondence. He can take her jabs a lot better than I can. Usually talking to her just leaves me in tears. I only ever talk to my sister in texts. I never talk to her on the phone, can't honestly remember the last time I did.
I'm trying to be strong and do what you all said. It's going to be hard.
We're to the point of only seeing them on holidays now, have been for the past couple years. I try to see them as little as possible. It still hurts when they leave me out. I don't know why. Since we moved so far away, we'll be seeing them even less b/c we won't be able to go back for every holiday...and there may be holidays that we go back just to see my inlaws and not tell them. I try to talk to my mother as little as possible, usually my husband does all of the correspondence. He can take her jabs a lot better than I can. Usually talking to her just leaves me in tears. I only ever talk to my sister in texts. I never talk to her on the phone, can't honestly remember the last time I did.
I'm trying to be strong and do what you all said. It's going to be hard.
Quote:
It is hard and we can hold each others hands.
It is hard and we can hold each others hands.
A hard, unfair position.
The person you need to answer to is that face in the mirror.
Every day. How did you treat your husband and your children
this day? (every day) How did you treat those you can in contact
with today?
That's how I look at life.
That I try to make an honest effort to be happy, to smile, and to
bring a smile to those around me. Because I know I'm going to leave
this world someday, and I want people to have pleasant memories
when they think of me.
I don't say unkind things to my wife, daughter. They mean way too much
to me. Yes, I've spoiled them both. My wife is bad spoiled.
But I don't go around saying things to hurt other people either. They might
someday remember me. If I find the need to talk about someone...let me
find kind things to say. Even if I need to address a problem, I'll do all I can
to do it nice.
I don't like being unhappy.
So...I don't let people make me feel unhappy. If that means we can't be friends,
that's what that means.
My grandparents were an old couple that lived next door once when I was young.
They were super nice people. Better that my real grandparents. I had one good
grandpa, bue he died when I was a little boy. The other three were just not good
at the grandparent thing. So life found me a couple that were. And they became my
grandparents.
I grew up knowing some not so nice people. Some in my own family. So I've made
that a point in my adult life, my daughters life--if you are not a nice person, you will
not be in my circle.
I'll always love my family. But you can love somebody, and not like them very much.
In the end, live in such a way as to love and honor your family, your friends. And when
the day comes that you leave this world, let there be a hole of such magnitude that it
can never be filled.
Don't worry about how they treat you...it's how you treat them that matters.
The person you need to answer to is that face in the mirror.
Every day. How did you treat your husband and your children
this day? (every day) How did you treat those you can in contact
with today?
That's how I look at life.
That I try to make an honest effort to be happy, to smile, and to
bring a smile to those around me. Because I know I'm going to leave
this world someday, and I want people to have pleasant memories
when they think of me.
I don't say unkind things to my wife, daughter. They mean way too much
to me. Yes, I've spoiled them both. My wife is bad spoiled.
But I don't go around saying things to hurt other people either. They might
someday remember me. If I find the need to talk about someone...let me
find kind things to say. Even if I need to address a problem, I'll do all I can
to do it nice.
I don't like being unhappy.
So...I don't let people make me feel unhappy. If that means we can't be friends,
that's what that means.
My grandparents were an old couple that lived next door once when I was young.
They were super nice people. Better that my real grandparents. I had one good
grandpa, bue he died when I was a little boy. The other three were just not good
at the grandparent thing. So life found me a couple that were. And they became my
grandparents.
I grew up knowing some not so nice people. Some in my own family. So I've made
that a point in my adult life, my daughters life--if you are not a nice person, you will
not be in my circle.
I'll always love my family. But you can love somebody, and not like them very much.
In the end, live in such a way as to love and honor your family, your friends. And when
the day comes that you leave this world, let there be a hole of such magnitude that it
can never be filled.
Don't worry about how they treat you...it's how you treat them that matters.
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