Southern Security System.... Too Funny

Discussion in 'Random Ramblings' started by werblessd1s, Feb 3, 2008.

  1. werblessd1s

    werblessd1s Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Jun 6, 2007
    NORTH FLORIDA
    Had to share this......


    HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM IN THE SOUTH

    1. Go to a second hand store and buy a pair of men's work boots, used, size 14-16.

    2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine.

    3. Put a few giant dog bowls next to the boots and magazine.

    4. Leave a note on your door that reads:

    Hey Bubba,
    I went for more shotgun shells and to pick my check up from the slaughter house. Be back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls - don't know what got into 'em, but they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took part in it but it was hard to tell from all the blood.
    Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house. Better wait out here on the porch.
    Cooter
     
  2. quadcam79

    quadcam79 Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Oct 28, 2007
    Fernandina Beach Fl.
    [​IMG][​IMG] Oh it's true, it's true
     
  3. hcammack

    hcammack Overrun With Chickens

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    Good plan I have a barking dog and I have boots that size already
    Henry
     
  4. Farmer Kitty

    Farmer Kitty Flock Mistress

    Sep 18, 2007
    Wisconsin
    [​IMG]
     
  5. RedStickLA

    RedStickLA Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Feb 27, 2007
    South Louisiana
    [​IMG]
     
  6. I favor the 'walk softly and carry a big stick' philosophy.
    The screen door has a 'No Soliciting' sign, just your average size one, maybe 1.5-2" high by 8-10 wide, just below that is an NRA sticker.
    That's if they miss the bumper sticker on my car, "2nd Amendment, the original Home land security act".

    I'm sure most have seen that ADT commercial where some guy kicks in the front door, the alarm goes off he runs away and the lady is on the phone with ADT, "I-I think some one just tried breaking in."
    "OK ma'am, we'll sent help right away."
    Some of my friends and I joke that in our houses it would be..
    <dialing NON-emergency number> "Hi, police, you aint gonna believe this... some idiot just broke in my house, when you get the chance can you send the coroners wagon before he starts stinking up the place." [​IMG]
     
  7. gritsar

    gritsar Cows, Chooks &amp; Impys - OH MY!

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    Nov 9, 2007
    SW Arkansas
    Cute. [​IMG]

    At my house I think it has something to do with the funny white car that says 'POLICE' on the side of it that keeps the burglars at bay. [​IMG]
     
  8. seismic wonder2

    seismic wonder2 I got mad ninja skills

    Feb 3, 2007
    san diego ca
    My Dad used to say....
    "Hello, Police? Yea, some dang fool broke in my house, stole my gun and shot himself 5 times....yep, 5 times...Twice in the face!"[​IMG]
     
  9. BrahmaMama

    BrahmaMama Chillin' With My Peeps

    Jan 8, 2008
    South Dakota
    [​IMG]

    Funny stories too [​IMG]

    We have a 175 lb Saint Bernard parked directly in front of the front door...seriously, the therapists that come out for my son are constantly having to step over him, lol! And if you somehow make it past him, you will be greeted by a 75 lb Doberman Pinscher. After that, well, I'm sure you will be hearing the "che chk of the 12 gauge....[​IMG]
     
  10. seismic wonder2

    seismic wonder2 I got mad ninja skills

    Feb 3, 2007
    san diego ca
    When I was a kid, my friend had a st bernard. He would lean on you until you scratched his head. Some times if you weren't ready for it he'd push you over and lay on you. He was like a 200 lb cat.
     

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