Special event/contest now open to BYCers.

Discussion in 'Chickenstocks, Shows, Meet-Ups' started by BBQJOE, Aug 17, 2016.

  1. BBQJOE

    BBQJOE Chillin' With My Peeps

    1,323
    244
    156
    Sep 25, 2015
    Void where prohibited.
    Annual Chicken chunkin’ and poultry pluckin’ contest!
    (Please note,this event is not for sissies, and may result in death.)

    This will be a contest to see who can fling their chicken the furthest as well as who is capable of plucking and cleaning their own bird in the fastest time. Extereme attention will be paid to cleanliness as well. Judges decisions will be final.

    The rules will follow, and anyone in violation of the rules, may have their chicken executed on the spot.
    Executed chickens will not be returned, and may end up in the communal supper pot for dinner.

    If your chicken is executed, you will not be allowed to join in the communal pot, but will instead sit at the kids table and be served mac and cheese with mechanically seperated chicken and pork hot dogs.

    All catapults shall in fact be real catapults made by you. Your catapult may be made of steel or wood, or any combination of either.
    There will be no trebuchets, air cannons, or rockets allowed.
    Not following this rule will be considered a violotion of the rules in the grossest of manners and may result in immediate execution of contestant and their bird.

    Drunkenness will be acceptable, and just short of required behavior.

    Chickens will weigh no less than 6 pounds at weigh-in time.

    Each contestant will have one, and only one chunk for this event. In the case of catapult failure, you and your chicken may be executed on the spot. Make sure those machines work people!

    You may harrass, boo, belittle, and generally taunt your opponents, though physical violence will not be tolerated, and you may be executed on the spot if the judges so decide. Pleading for your life is futile. Remember, judges decisions are final.


    Attire:
    All contestants are required to wear a red plaid kilt, liederhosen, and a robin hood hat with at least one tail feather from the participating chicken. Shirts are optional.
    Failure to dress in this manner will result in execution.


    Extra points:
    10 extra points will be given to any chunker whose bird lands on its feet
    100 extra points will be given if a bird should land face first with its beak no less that halfway stoved into the ground
    Any contestant whose bird fails to land, will be disqualified..
    Any and all extra points will be taken away if at any time you are executed.
    If you commit an infraction of the rules, and there is no judge present, you may in fact save them the trouble, and execute yourself. If you are unable to do such, and your infraction was witnessed by any participating player, they or their family, including friends, are free to perform any execution themselves as seen fit. No questions will be asked.

    Executions:
    Executions will be performed at the time and place of the incurred infraction. Executioners will be picked randomly from among the contestants. If you should be chosen to perform an execution, and are not ok with it, or can’t bring yourself to carry it out, that’s ok!
    Although you will be executed.

    Any executed bodies must be removed from the playing field within one minute by a family member or friend, or said family member or friend may be executed.

    Any flung chicken that lands on a corpse will be immediately executed, along with its owner.



    Please remember, this is a fun for the whole family event, let’s try to keep it that way!


    DINNER: Dinner will be served exactly two hours after the last chicken is chunked, or Six o’ clock, whichever comes first.
    There will be a five minute grace period after the dinner bell rings, at which time grace will be being said. Anyone who wishes to interrupt grace, will of course be handed their head, and possibly that of a family member.

    Please remember, we take this sport very seriously, and as a participant, you should too.

    Anyone chunking a child will be disqualified, unless of course said child was crying or being obnoxious, in which case feel free to chunk yours, or the contestants next to you whose children need it.
    No extra points will be given in regards as to how any child lands, unless your chunker fails, and said child is pummeled face first into the ground no further than ten feet from your catapult.

    Preceeding your own possible execution, you will be given the chice of your box.
    This year we will be offering oak, as well as last years popular choices of pine and cardboard.
    Due to the overwhelming demand that we add cremation as an option, all those wishing to be cremated will have to wait until the midnight bonfire.
    (We will not supply urns.)

    Anyone wishing to participate, should have sent me a self addressed stamped envelope two weeks ago.
    If you still wish to join in the fun, you may wait on standby in the case that someone creates an exectable offense before the contest even begins.

    If you have any questions, feel free to read this form again. The rules are quite clearly written in black and white.

    And in closing let me reiterate, any contestant, not fully aware of all the rules at game time, will of course be executed.

    Thank you for your interest in chicken chunking, and we hope to see you there!!!
     
    1 person likes this.
  2. N F C

    N F C Home in WY Premium Member

    33,485
    8,569
    616
    Dec 12, 2013
    Wyoming
    [​IMG]

    Darn, and here I had a trebuchet all ready built. Guess I'll have to sit this one out.
     
  3. BantyChooks

    BantyChooks Smile Premium Member

    39,477
    10,337
    656
    Aug 1, 2015
    Oh, Joe, I'd love to come, but I'm afraid I'm busy..... What day, you say? Ohhh... All of them. :oops:
     
  4. sourland

    sourland Broody Magician Premium Member

    63,303
    7,813
    726
    May 3, 2009
    New Jersey
    Joe, interesting concept, but I'm all tied up.
     
  5. NickyKnack

    NickyKnack Love is Silkie soft!

    I so wanted to come, but my bird is not a chicken and he really loves to be chucked. (No so much, the plucked) But sadly, he'd be disqualified. :( Oh, well. Maybe next year.

    [​IMG]
     
  6. BBQJOE

    BBQJOE Chillin' With My Peeps

    1,323
    244
    156
    Sep 25, 2015
    Void where prohibited.
    Due to the fact that many here didn't show up last year, mainly because they weren't invited, we have decided to post last years statistics again.

    First let me say that it was an exciting event. The weather was great, the field workers did an excellent job preparing the site. We especially wish to thank Mrs Kowalski for the use of her real estate wheel measuring thingy. It was a great help in measuring the distance of chunked chickens.
    Through some generous donations, we were able to raise enough funds to replace Earl "Are you gonna eat that" Potters prosthetic arm after he got it caught in his catapult during launch, and flung it an amazing 97 yards.

    There were many complaints from spectators who forgot to lock their car doors. Remember people, it's harvest season, and if you don't want your vehicles filled with folks excessive squash and zucchini, please keep your cars locked when away from them.

    On another note, Mrs Brown's boys spent two weeks in their rooms after being caught choking chickens under the bleachers. Please make sure your boys choke their chickens at home. Some find this practice isn't suitable for public display.

    Last years entries appeared to be mostly old roosters, which of course made dinner late due to the extra cooking time. There was only one hen entered, and Miss Crabtree (the school teacher) was heard to exclaim, that's a lot of cocks!
    Sadly, it was found that many of the roosters didn't belong to the contestants, but if fact were purchased from a large Mexican cock ring. This year we ask that you bring your own rooster and leave those Mexican cocks at home.

    For future reference, booing and taunting of contestants is allowed, trying to deflect an opponents rooster during launch is prohibited. "Cock blocking" will not be tolerated for any reason.


    Last year's first place prize of a large bag of Dick's beef jerky wen't to Mr. and Mrs. Smith for their chicken chunk of 75.8 yards. They were awarded extra points when their rooster landed not only on his feet, but also with his face firmly planted in the soil. A chicken chunkin' first!!!

    2nd place went to Terry Fielding, falling into the 69 position.

    3rd place was a tie, so both of the owners and their chickens were shot.


    2 contestants didn't make it to the start.
    5 contestants were executed during the games.
    40 chickens in all were entered, 3 died midflight, 2 cocks got blown away when the dust devil came through, and 1 cock got sucked up in the funnel.
    So 32 chickens were served dumpling style and 1 other was cooked on the grill. Gale stirred the big pot, while her husband Bob flipped the bird.
    15 people were hospitalized by faulty executions, while 10 others were successfully snuffed.

    But the ladies of the night were Betty, and Hildigard and her girls, who made their way around to all the men, receiving many large donations, which help to pay for T-shirts and advertising.

    The after dinner bowling ball chunk was also successful. Each attendee flung four balls, all donated by "right up your alley" bowling and sports. Most contestants shined and rubbed their balls before the contest to achieve the greatest girth possible on the field.
    All four balls each had different weights, with the orange balls being the lightest and easiest, to the large blue balls causing the most pain.

    Well that about wraps up it up for last year,and remember drivers to tarp that load so we don't end up with spillage where we don't want it.

    There's also time to get into next seasons games. For those of you who can't make it, there's still time to let us know, so we can reschedule next years event to accommodate your special snowflake, self-centered behind.

    Thank you.
     
  7. N F C

    N F C Home in WY Premium Member

    33,485
    8,569
    616
    Dec 12, 2013
    Wyoming
    Sign me up for next year Joe! Just be warned...my chickens are in training now and will be ready to take on any and all newcomers.
     
  8. sourland

    sourland Broody Magician Premium Member

    63,303
    7,813
    726
    May 3, 2009
    New Jersey
    Joe, I too will keep this date open next year.
     
  9. N F C

    N F C Home in WY Premium Member

    33,485
    8,569
    616
    Dec 12, 2013
    Wyoming
    [​IMG]

    Hey sour, maybe you can bring a few beagles to round up and retrieve any escapee birds, lol.
     

BackYard Chickens is proudly sponsored by