BBQJOE
Songster
Annual Chicken chunkin’ and poultry pluckin’ contest!
(Please note,this event is not for sissies, and may result in death.)
This will be a contest to see who can fling their chicken the furthest as well as who is capable of plucking and cleaning their own bird in the fastest time. Extereme attention will be paid to cleanliness as well. Judges decisions will be final.
The rules will follow, and anyone in violation of the rules, may have their chicken executed on the spot.
Executed chickens will not be returned, and may end up in the communal supper pot for dinner.
If your chicken is executed, you will not be allowed to join in the communal pot, but will instead sit at the kids table and be served mac and cheese with mechanically seperated chicken and pork hot dogs.
All catapults shall in fact be real catapults made by you. Your catapult may be made of steel or wood, or any combination of either.
There will be no trebuchets, air cannons, or rockets allowed.
Not following this rule will be considered a violotion of the rules in the grossest of manners and may result in immediate execution of contestant and their bird.
Drunkenness will be acceptable, and just short of required behavior.
Chickens will weigh no less than 6 pounds at weigh-in time.
Each contestant will have one, and only one chunk for this event. In the case of catapult failure, you and your chicken may be executed on the spot. Make sure those machines work people!
You may harrass, boo, belittle, and generally taunt your opponents, though physical violence will not be tolerated, and you may be executed on the spot if the judges so decide. Pleading for your life is futile. Remember, judges decisions are final.
Attire:
All contestants are required to wear a red plaid kilt, liederhosen, and a robin hood hat with at least one tail feather from the participating chicken. Shirts are optional.
Failure to dress in this manner will result in execution.
Extra points:
10 extra points will be given to any chunker whose bird lands on its feet
100 extra points will be given if a bird should land face first with its beak no less that halfway stoved into the ground
Any contestant whose bird fails to land, will be disqualified..
Any and all extra points will be taken away if at any time you are executed.
If you commit an infraction of the rules, and there is no judge present, you may in fact save them the trouble, and execute yourself. If you are unable to do such, and your infraction was witnessed by any participating player, they or their family, including friends, are free to perform any execution themselves as seen fit. No questions will be asked.
Executions:
Executions will be performed at the time and place of the incurred infraction. Executioners will be picked randomly from among the contestants. If you should be chosen to perform an execution, and are not ok with it, or can’t bring yourself to carry it out, that’s ok!
Although you will be executed.
Any executed bodies must be removed from the playing field within one minute by a family member or friend, or said family member or friend may be executed.
Any flung chicken that lands on a corpse will be immediately executed, along with its owner.
Please remember, this is a fun for the whole family event, let’s try to keep it that way!
DINNER: Dinner will be served exactly two hours after the last chicken is chunked, or Six o’ clock, whichever comes first.
There will be a five minute grace period after the dinner bell rings, at which time grace will be being said. Anyone who wishes to interrupt grace, will of course be handed their head, and possibly that of a family member.
Please remember, we take this sport very seriously, and as a participant, you should too.
Anyone chunking a child will be disqualified, unless of course said child was crying or being obnoxious, in which case feel free to chunk yours, or the contestants next to you whose children need it.
No extra points will be given in regards as to how any child lands, unless your chunker fails, and said child is pummeled face first into the ground no further than ten feet from your catapult.
Preceeding your own possible execution, you will be given the chice of your box.
This year we will be offering oak, as well as last years popular choices of pine and cardboard.
Due to the overwhelming demand that we add cremation as an option, all those wishing to be cremated will have to wait until the midnight bonfire.
(We will not supply urns.)
Anyone wishing to participate, should have sent me a self addressed stamped envelope two weeks ago.
If you still wish to join in the fun, you may wait on standby in the case that someone creates an exectable offense before the contest even begins.
If you have any questions, feel free to read this form again. The rules are quite clearly written in black and white.
And in closing let me reiterate, any contestant, not fully aware of all the rules at game time, will of course be executed.
Thank you for your interest in chicken chunking, and we hope to see you there!!!
(Please note,this event is not for sissies, and may result in death.)
This will be a contest to see who can fling their chicken the furthest as well as who is capable of plucking and cleaning their own bird in the fastest time. Extereme attention will be paid to cleanliness as well. Judges decisions will be final.
The rules will follow, and anyone in violation of the rules, may have their chicken executed on the spot.
Executed chickens will not be returned, and may end up in the communal supper pot for dinner.
If your chicken is executed, you will not be allowed to join in the communal pot, but will instead sit at the kids table and be served mac and cheese with mechanically seperated chicken and pork hot dogs.
All catapults shall in fact be real catapults made by you. Your catapult may be made of steel or wood, or any combination of either.
There will be no trebuchets, air cannons, or rockets allowed.
Not following this rule will be considered a violotion of the rules in the grossest of manners and may result in immediate execution of contestant and their bird.
Drunkenness will be acceptable, and just short of required behavior.
Chickens will weigh no less than 6 pounds at weigh-in time.
Each contestant will have one, and only one chunk for this event. In the case of catapult failure, you and your chicken may be executed on the spot. Make sure those machines work people!
You may harrass, boo, belittle, and generally taunt your opponents, though physical violence will not be tolerated, and you may be executed on the spot if the judges so decide. Pleading for your life is futile. Remember, judges decisions are final.
Attire:
All contestants are required to wear a red plaid kilt, liederhosen, and a robin hood hat with at least one tail feather from the participating chicken. Shirts are optional.
Failure to dress in this manner will result in execution.
Extra points:
10 extra points will be given to any chunker whose bird lands on its feet
100 extra points will be given if a bird should land face first with its beak no less that halfway stoved into the ground
Any contestant whose bird fails to land, will be disqualified..
Any and all extra points will be taken away if at any time you are executed.
If you commit an infraction of the rules, and there is no judge present, you may in fact save them the trouble, and execute yourself. If you are unable to do such, and your infraction was witnessed by any participating player, they or their family, including friends, are free to perform any execution themselves as seen fit. No questions will be asked.
Executions:
Executions will be performed at the time and place of the incurred infraction. Executioners will be picked randomly from among the contestants. If you should be chosen to perform an execution, and are not ok with it, or can’t bring yourself to carry it out, that’s ok!
Although you will be executed.
Any executed bodies must be removed from the playing field within one minute by a family member or friend, or said family member or friend may be executed.
Any flung chicken that lands on a corpse will be immediately executed, along with its owner.
Please remember, this is a fun for the whole family event, let’s try to keep it that way!
DINNER: Dinner will be served exactly two hours after the last chicken is chunked, or Six o’ clock, whichever comes first.
There will be a five minute grace period after the dinner bell rings, at which time grace will be being said. Anyone who wishes to interrupt grace, will of course be handed their head, and possibly that of a family member.
Please remember, we take this sport very seriously, and as a participant, you should too.
Anyone chunking a child will be disqualified, unless of course said child was crying or being obnoxious, in which case feel free to chunk yours, or the contestants next to you whose children need it.
No extra points will be given in regards as to how any child lands, unless your chunker fails, and said child is pummeled face first into the ground no further than ten feet from your catapult.
Preceeding your own possible execution, you will be given the chice of your box.
This year we will be offering oak, as well as last years popular choices of pine and cardboard.
Due to the overwhelming demand that we add cremation as an option, all those wishing to be cremated will have to wait until the midnight bonfire.
(We will not supply urns.)
Anyone wishing to participate, should have sent me a self addressed stamped envelope two weeks ago.
If you still wish to join in the fun, you may wait on standby in the case that someone creates an exectable offense before the contest even begins.
If you have any questions, feel free to read this form again. The rules are quite clearly written in black and white.
And in closing let me reiterate, any contestant, not fully aware of all the rules at game time, will of course be executed.
Thank you for your interest in chicken chunking, and we hope to see you there!!!
Oh, well. Maybe next year. 
