Stay at Home Mom or Back to Work?

[Patchofheaven]

We live out in the country and right now only have one reliable vehicle which my husband uses for work. I did the babysitting thing for a neighbor last year, but now her son is in school. I also did some housecleaning for extra money, but realized that I wasn't making enough for all of the time and effort I was putting into it. I'm a perfectionist and spent way too much time for the amount of money I was making.

I've thought about looking more into working from home. I'm not a very good salesperson, I tend to want to buy more of the products than I can sell - that means no more Avon, Mary Kay or Tupperware for me.

I worked for 12 years as an Accounts Receivable Manager, I love numbers and was very good at it before I quit to be a stay at home mom. Accounting is my field of choice and I don't want to take a job that I don't enjoy unless we are desperate (which we aren't there by any means) I just want to help relieve some of the stress, before we dig ourselves into a hole and become desperate. I want our cushion back so we can both relax.

 

[MissPrissy]

Can you advertise with small businesses that might need some part time book keeping that you could do at home?

I know a couple ladies at our church who do that for a living.

You have talent to use!

With tax season approaching there might be small companies that could use a helping hand.

 

[okiechick57]

I was going to suggest many tax preperation also........ you sound like just the person and I only use home preparers myself...... I raised 4 kids alone for 14 years............I also cleaned houses.....because when it came time to go to work after no good for nuttin hubby ran off I was in the bathroom throwing up, I could NOT leave me babies.......when they were school age I cleaned houses.it was the only way to make it all work for me.... and I even did it with 3 in tow sometimes.......... your decision is a hard one for sure.... I was able to stop working 50 /60 hour weeks when I married this last time , 7 yrs ago...now having to think bout going back into work force UGH, I seel estate finds on Ebay for a little help....... Listen to your heart girl.write down pros and cons on a piece of paper about both sides..it really helped me to "see" it all on paper...made the decision much easier for me.......... I pray you find your answer, either way it goes...........dont beat yourself up.....your husband is sayin it is okay.........trust that it it and check out options.
Sorry so long...........dont get me started on the work or not to work one.........too personal for me...done both.......

 

[Chirpy]

I really feel the pain you are going through with this decision. In my opinion, having either mom or dad stay at home with the children is critical as they are growing up - yes, even teenagers.

I realize that many families don't have that luxury of having one parent stay home. I have been blessed to stay home since my oldest son was born 18 yrs. ago. I didn't want someone else raising my children. It's been tough many, many times financially.

At one time both my DH and I worked for Alpine Access (alpineaccess.com), they train you to take orders over the phone for large companies (like 1-800 Flowers amongst many). I was able to stay home and make $9.00/hr and set my own schedule to boot. The only downside was that you do have to have a specific headphone set with a specific telephone and a good computer (I even did it with dial- up on our computer); that is money you have to spend up front. But, after that you are free and clear - no out of pocket food (you eat in your kitchen), no gas money spent to drive to work, no special clothes (you can sit in your pajamas if you want) so that $9.00 does help. You might look into it or try to find another job such as that around where you live.

I will be praying for you as you decide what to do. If there's any way of staying home for a couple more years to be there for your kids I would encourage you to do so. If not, don't feel guilty - do what you have to do and try to work around your kids schedules.

 

[Parson's Wife]

I am a stay at home mom. While things are not always easy (ever heard of 'poor as church mice'?) We really limit what we eat (other than name-brand), where we eat, shop with coupons, sales. Clothes? we spend more than most people...we are in the public eyes all the time...but I yardsale, 2nd hand shop, and I look for sales...while I say this...my husband has taken a second job at times...he is our income supplier....and the Lord has been merciful...
We keep a ledger of everything....bubblegum, gas, groceries, I suggest you do this for a coupla months until you see exactly where your money is going, then you can allocate accordingly or else cut back. Utilities are at all time high, several have already suggested good ideas, however I have small children, and every room in our house is busy...so I keep my thermostat at 69 day and 67 at night...thats not a big difference, but small ones constantly kick off covers and get chilled....we also have a infared heater in the LR which is used in the day (unless I'm using the oven) which helps with the chill factor.
Vacations...I buy tickets one at a time, to where I want to go...Silver dollar city is a regular with us...I buy 1 adult season pass early and I get 3 $10 passes...soooo I only pay for one and get in almost next to nothing; then I do the same with childrens season passes...I buy one a month...and I'm already done. (Vacations are not a neccessary expense...we love to camp)
And my next idea is.....check out betterbudgeting.com onlinethey have many idease that might help you.
I hope and pray you are able to make it through this difficult time and still get to stay at home.
* Note: as a minister gas is one of our largest expenses anymore...someone is always in the hospital, thats 45 minutes away, night calls, sick calls, meetings, conventions, campmeetings, youth camps, monthly rallies, monthly fellowship meetings....what I'm trying to say is this....I never leave the house unless it's on call or neccessary. We try to keep a list of things we need on the frig....he can pick up...and I make a list of all things needed or places to go when we make a call. Such as, electric bill, water bill, hospitial, groceries, gas station, and in the order we travel, according to our timeline...I keep this up front with me. We also purchase gas in the next town up...it's cheaper...we locate the cheapest and that's where we fill up.
Anyway...even with all our measures gas prices are still killing our budget.
Tie a knot in the end of the rope and hang on...

 

[patandchickens]

consider driving a schoolbus - many rural places seem to let you 'keep' the bus during the day (park it at home) so having only 1 car might not be so much a problem. Places I've lived it seems to be a fairly common solution to your sort of dilemma.

If you aren't already, consider shopping for household items and clothing at thrift stores. You can get virtually brand new, sometimes *literally* brand new, clothes backpacks dishes curtains sheets small furniture etcetera for really bargain prices. Since you live out in the country, you might want to plan one or two trips per month to whatever big town has (ideally) several thrift type shops. We save a LOT of money that way.

Also as Miss Prissy says eggs are your friends, use them

We have one or two egg-based dinners per week (egg and sausage burritos, or 'whatever's in the fridge and oughta be eaten soon' frittatas or omelets, or french toast and a thick veg soup). I figure we save $4-8 per week that way, which may not sound like much but that's $300 per year and who couldn't use an extra three hundred bucks?

But really, your kids are old enough they can certainly deal with your taking some sort of job (and it might be a good example to them!), so it seems to me it'd at least be worth looking round and seeing if any options appeal to you.

Good luck,

Pat (having 'retired' at 37 from an academic career to become a stay-at-home mom and loving every minute of it, but expecting to find some way of making *some* sort of income once the kids are older)

 

[ams3651]

I always wanted to stay home and when my youngest was born prematurly 5 years ago I guess you could say my "dreams" came true. He has medical problems and we have lived on SSI and child support. ( I have a 16 year old also) Im not married but his father pays support even though we are still a couple but not living together. I was fortunate enough that my mom helped me purchase my grandparents small home and 2 acres. I finially am starting a small business renting out the Stork signs and such that people get for their yards, it was about $2000 to get started but if your handy you can do them yourself. I also looked into working as an aid for my kids school which is part time, or sometimes they even need cafateria workers. We clip coupons, grow as much as we can, plant extra tomatoes, pumpkins and sweet corn to sell at a small local farmers market. You can also look into whether your area has a Freecycle group (www.freecycle.org) where you can sometimes find things people dont need anymore and are giving away. I also sell the clothes my youngest outgrows on ebay or in the newspaper. I tell people my money is so tight it squeeks! I know its hard not having any back up and relying on money that doesnt come. I have also found websites about frugal living that were helpful. Good luck!

ps, i have purchased new sneakers at a great discount on ebay as well as other things we needed. (cell phone, new bedding, etc.) I love ebay! And we "rent" movies from Netflix, its so much cheeper when you have to drive 15 minutes to the nearest video store

 

[newchickowner]

Since I'm assuming you have a computer and internet access, I'd suggest going back to school to get certified for something like medical or legal transcription. That's what I'm doing now. You can get this at any community college so the tuition isn't anywhere near an expensive university. And almost the entire course can be taken online so you can still be home. And you could propably qualify for some sort of grant or scholarship because of the limited income your family is living on so that your schooling is paid for (at least mostly). Then you can work at home on your computer while your kids are in school, and still be there for them. There is a couple of classes at the end of the certification that requires in-lab time, but your kids are old enough to be able to deal with it for a while.

 

[Wildsky]

Good Luck with whatever you decide

 

[nightshade]

Quote:
My son will be 5 in March. When I got pregant we desided that I would become a stay at home mom with him til he want to school and then we would revisit the issue. Now he goes to school in the fall and we have desided I will continue to stay home and run our little backyard farm.

I am an artist and that made it really fesible to work from home. Working from home helps take alot of the stress off or atleast minumize it to a point. For the not sure stay at hoem mom it can also help validate that you are "helping" out if you worry about that.Ebay is a great opptunity to make alittle extra cash if you have things you can make or that you are willing to part with.

I know that in my experence that we may have to live modestly, or do with out the big extras sometimes but It was well worth it. I would never trade the moments and experences I have gotten to share with my son for material things.

Good luck and I hope you find peace with it.