Stay home

[joebryant]

Quote:
When my daughter got married, there were over 300 guests. If anyone had come in jeans, I'd've told them to leave. IGNORANT SLOBS! PERIOD!

 

[al6517]

Hey Joe :

This has always been a sore spot with me, I think there are several sad reason why these kids do not where the proper attire to things like weddings, Funerals/wakes, graduations, and special events.
1. Their parents never had the desire to teach these 20 somethings to dress properly.
2. Their role models don't wear proper close.
3. they have no respect, they have never been taught respect.
4. These kids nowadays want to seen as bucking the system.
5. Heck!! they spend more time and money trying to look like they don't care what they look like, facebook generation.

I live in a place that if you wear a suit to dinner other adults look at you like what the heck are you trying to be. If you don't have Tobacco spit on your shirt in public, your a snob. if I wear a clean pair of jeans and iron a button up shirt people say to me who died. I just hate this kind of attitude, these people want respect but are unwilling to earn it, or in my opinion have never been taught about respect. these people don't care about first impressions, they care about how good they look in $ 200.00 jeans that were bought new with holes torn in them.

I for one will never dress down to their levels, I care what I look like, I just ask them to do same.

AL

 

[CityClucks]

I basically agree with al6517. Making the effort to dress up for funerals or weddings is a fundamental sign of respect to the grieving or celebrating families. It shouldn't be that big an ordeal to put on a clean shirt.

At one early-afternoon summer wedding, one couple showed up dressed for the lake - shorts and tank tops. To me their choice of apparel screamed "We don't care about being here let's get this thing over so we can go to the lake." Not nice.

 

[ScoobyRoo]

Yes and no. Remember that we don't always know how the relationship is between some people. Things could have been said about ''don't need to dress up for me at my funeral'' If they are at the funeral isn't that showing respect? Some people come straight from work and have to go back and that is what they wear. Are we not to judge a book by it's cover? Just so you know, I do dress up for weddings and funerals I just don't always expect everyone else too. There can be many reasons. Weddings are planned way in advance so there is really no excuse not to be dressed up. JMO

 

[apukanski]

My mother would die of shame if I showed up at a wedding,funeral, court or especially church with anything less than appropriate attire. She would probably slap me too, not fun being slapped by your mother at 38.lol

 

[wegotchickens]

I understand that dressing up is a mark of respect, and I always do. I try to make my kids look presentable, also.
And then I drag them there in their jeans and t-shirts when they refuse to change. They need to have the experience, and letting them stay home because they won't change clothes isn't an option for me. Their clothes ARE clean, and the shirts have no slogans or anything offensive on them. Someday they will need to attend these kinds of things and they need to know the routine. And when they got stared at they learned that I was right in asking them to dress appropriately.

Not dressing up isn't a new thing, or a 'kids nowadays' thing. When my Grandpa passed (1984) his hunting buddies all showed up in casual attire. No one really spoke to them or acknowledged them. I feel bad for that now; These men took the time to come say goodbye to someone who never gave a flip about what they wore. And had Grandpa been able to sit up and say hello, these are the guys he'd have spoken to, not the dressed up mourners around him.

Sometimes the actions mean more than the attire. If you can't get off work to run home and change, does that make you a bad person for stopping by the funeral anyway? Doesn't expressing your condolences to the family matter more?
Dressing to the nines for church doesn't make you a better
Christian, IMO.

Dressing for weddings is whole 'nother matter. That's a planned event with plenty of notice.

 

[joebryant]

Quote:
Well said, Al, but the age range of guys I described who were at the funeral were mostly middle-aged or older. Outside later, at the grave site, one 70-year-old (in his plastic "leather" coat) with whom I'd gone to grade school told me that I looked like a member of the mafia. I was wearing a conservative jacket, pants, tie, and overcoat... not overdressed whatsoever.

 

[TT]

I think it depends on the family. I lost my Dad this week and he was a jeans, cowboy boots and cap man. Everyone was told that because that's what Dad liked they could wear jeans (nice, clean ones) if they wanted.

 

[sunshineinsc]

The first time I went to a funeral for my Dh's family I was SHOCKED to see what these people wore. I was always brought up to wear appropriate clothing to a funeral.

When his Grandfather died there were people in sweats!! We drove 8 hours with me 8 months preggo but you better believe I had a black dress on.

I think it all depends on where your from too. I grew up in Pennsylvania and my DH's family is from Tennessee and Kentucky. The funerals in TN and KY were loud and a lot of preaching as in Pa they were the quiet sober affairs.

 

[newchickenfamily]

Quote:
So sorry that you lost your Dad, TT!!

Joe Bryant, I'm sorry that you lost your friend!

I lost my 30 year old brother 2 years ago. It was very sudden. He was a jeans/t-shirt and flip flops kind of guy. Lots of people that came to his funeral were dressed up. Those that knew him best came casual. To be honest, I didn't care a lick about how people were dressed. I only cared that they came to express their condolences to our family and to let us know that they cared. That was all that mattered to me.

BUT, to each his own!!