Stay home

[Three_Blessings]

I think at all depends on the person. I really would not care what people wore to my funeral. Clothes do not make a person.

 

[mrsengeseth]

I think it isn't so much anymore a respect thing for the deceased, but respect for the family left behind. I'd dress my best to go to a funeral for someone who passed away. However, wehn MIL passed, we were all so stunned that we were lucky to have two halves of the same outfit on period.

I am a jeans and t-shirt kinda gal. When I go, I expect people to come-as-they-are. Same as they would to my dinner table.

 

[joebryant]

Funerals and weddings cost many thousands of dollars. Families pay these amounts because it's a once-in-a-lifetime event for the bride/groom or deceased. It won't take much to show appreciation for what the family did by dressing appropriately; you're not going to a $5 movie.

 

[n-da-woods]

I did it. I wear jeans to funerals.I'm so sorry. Shoot me. But I still like BYC and the people that post here!!!!!

 

[Rusty Hills Farm]

Funerals and weddings cost many thousands of dollars.

They don't have to unless you want them to. My family doesn't. I wore boots and jeans to my own wedding, my kids' weddings, my grandson's funeral. I expect to wear boots and jeans to my own funeral. To dress any other way would not be true to who I am. It would be phony.

To be honest here, I don't actually know anyone who has that kind of money to spend on a wedding or a funeral. All my friends get/got married at the beach and had the reception right there or in their own back yard. My grandson's funeral was at the graveside and we went home for a small wake.

Lots of people are not fancy folks and I don't think they should be put down for it. What matters is what is in your heart, not what's on your back.

Rusty​

 

[RockyToggRanch]

If I'm expected to go out and buy a special dress for your wedding...then I consider that your gift. Clothes mean too much to too many people.

My DH's Grandpa was buried in his overalls. He could afford whatever he wanted, but that's how we all saw him and that's how he was comfortable. He did wear a suit to our wedding which was in our yard. He would never have judged anyone at his funeral who wore jeans. They came and paid respects.

I hope at my funeral (and I can afford whatever my family wants) that it's more like one of the many casual, happy, get together, parties that we enjoy. PLEASE wear jeans. or whatever makes you happy.

just my opinion

 

[thechickenchick]

I have to say, I am the woman that shows up in the conservative pants suit or skirt and blouse for a funeral. I just attended my Uncles funeral a few months ago. I was appalled to see that half of his children had not even taken the time to wash their hair let alone wear clean pressed clothes. I am not a dressy type of girl either(come on my chickens don't care!

) and would not expect people to spend $ on clothes to come to my funeral. (the blouse I wore came from the local second hand store, I don't spend $ on clothes, but that doesn't mean I don't look nice). However I feel if I would have shown up looking like a slob it would have appeared disrespectful not only to my Uncle and his family but to the wonderful people who raised me to be respectful.. My parents are both passed as well but I still want to know they would be proud of me. I was secretly praying that my estranged sister would not show up( she did not) because she is one to come to something like that, not showered and in last nights mini skirt, hooker boots and a wig down to her, well you know. Turns out she waited for a week then showed up at my Aunts house dressed just like that!

When my parents passed half of the church was filled with leather. They died in a motorcycle accident(Harley). Out of respect their friends dressed in their leather jackets, chaps and boots. They did however ask myself and my sister ahead of time. My Dad would have loved that. One of my conservative Aunts was outraged. The sight and sound of 30 Harleys outside of that church glistening in the sun still makes me cry.

Sorry about the lengthy post, this subject struck a cord with me. In case its not clear. I think it is important to dress appropriatley and respectfully in all instances. The problem I have noticed is there is nowhere that people feel the need to dress up for. I remember as a child going to a "fancy" place to eat meant getting to wear my pretty dress. Now the 1 fancy meal a year is for my DH company dinner. I show up in dress pants or mid length skirt and heels. All the other wives are in sweats or shorts and look at me as some sort of hussy.

Most people don't even own dress clothes any more. What is the world coming to?

 

[al6517]

I have read a few of these post where folks disagree, and wear what they want, jeans and so forth. I am sorry folks but I think it is an excuss to think OOhh thats what they would have wanted me to wear. As for a wedding if you don't dress accordingly because WHY !!, you have to buy new clothing. excusses one and all. once again folks I am sorry it is just an opinion. That is what I mean by the dressing down of society, what you are doing is teaching those around you, that it is just fine to wear flip flops to a wedding. Hogwash is what it is. I hate it that I live near a town of 100K+ and there is no place!! no place really nice to take my wife on our 25th aniversary, where she and I can feel good and dress up nice for a great occasion in our lifes. the casual dress attire is way overated. Just keep it up folks and then when you want to find a suit or nice dress you will only find jeans and tank tops.

AL

 

[English Chick]

Being of the "old School" attitude...for my personally I would dress in what I believe to be the correct attire for the occasion.....however ....if those that attend a funeral, attend out of respect and love for those that have passed, it should not matter to the living what they wear.....the fact that they are there is what matters..no what they are wearing at that time.........times and dress codes change....the heart and what is felt does not......

 

[Rhett&SarahsMom]

I would have found it more disrespectful if no one had bothered to show up at all.

When my father died my half sister didnt bother to come.
My then dh came up for the wake and funeral only to literally leave me the next day to go off with his little girlfriend.
His reason? "I only came up out of respect for your father" If he had respected my dad. He wouldnt have cheated on me and then left right after the burial.
When my half brother was murdered my half sister didnt bother to come. Heck, no one showed up for his funeral. Not one aunt. Not his first wife with whom he had two kids. It was mostly people that he worked with. And yes, most of them were in jeans and t's. It was the way they all were. No disrespect meant.

When my grandmother passed I went in jeans and a nice top. Because it was how my grandmother knows me. If people were offended by my "lack of respect" too bad. I spent hours in the garden with my grandparents growing up. I was honoring that memory. None of my aunts dressed somberly. One aunt wore a fushcia blazer with a bright yellow rose on the collar. I am sure some people thought that was disrespectful.
I didnt attend my grandfathers service. My daughter was sick. I was heart broken that I couldnt attend. But I know my grandfather would have wanted me to be home taking care of my sick child. Not driving more than an hour one way to say good bye to a urn full of ashes. He wasnt "there" anyway

When my neighbor passed a few months ago. I was the ONLY person from the neighborhood that went to the wake or the funeral service. I dressed appropriately for both. But no one mentioned that I had dressed for the service. People were talking about how I was the only one of the neighbors that was respectful enough to go and support the family.

IMHO Weddings are different. Money is being spent on food and entertainment for the guests. Invitations are sent out months in advance. There is no excuse to not be properly outfitted for a wedding.
But again. The "tone" of the wedding the couple sets also dictates what is appropriate clothing.
My wedding was outside in May. It was hot. There was LAWN. I should have let the couples know this so the women could have worn flats, sandals. heck. I wore sneakers under my dress. I have also been to weddings were a dress would have been horribly out of place.

Ones behavior shows respect, or lack there of more than ones dress.
I would take a guy wearing jeans and a clean t that was behaving appropriately over a guy in a suit and tie that was three sheets to the wind and being an jerk