Rinda I do know how you feel, we lost Breeze in the 70's at just 10 years old. She had a red lump near a tooth. Took her to the vet. Test came back as gingivitis - what??? By then the lump had gotten so tall she couldn't close her mouth.. The vet said he'd remove the lump.- well he took half of her jaw with it. She still ate and acted like Breeze but, when she didn't know I was watching from the doorway I could see her scratching the floor endlessly and crying- certainly from the pain. As soon as she noticed me, she was wagging her tail and happy again.
Before her stitches came out, the angry red lump was back. Test results back as 'gingivitis' again,
vet said he'd take it off . Yay, and probably the other half of her jaw. I couldn't do that to her.
I always gave my dogs their favorite treat before they went in to be euthanized. I felt so bad, She also got a full can of solid white albacore tuna... She was just one happy camper, and to top it off she got her favorite ride in the car, with her head out the window.
My father who was not a dog lover always got stuck with the task of taking dogs in since he never seemed to care. Later found out Breeze's dam died of cancer at 7, Breeze's sire and gr.dam also died of cancer.
A year later my soulmate Tots died,(11) 3 years after that Dee Dee(14), then Dee's daughter Muffy,(14.5) then the last of my mine Puggy(14.5) in 1989, haven't had a dog since. Every one took a piece of my heart with them, till I was running on empty.
Ever since ,I just love on every dog I see , the neighbor's dogs, friend's dogs, relative's dogs.
When I am really feeling bad I go to
Petsmart so I can pet some stranger's dog. It always makes me feel better for time - then I hurt all over missing mine again.
Rinda please accept my sincerest condolences on the loss of your dog.