Still Hurts After a Year

[Stacykins]

A year ago, a wonderful friend of mine ended his life. It was about this time that I checked my email and saw that my Army ROTC Unit Commander had sent an email out to the cadets that he was dead. Details trickled in later. I miss him so much. I didn't go to his funeral, since I didn't want my last memory to be of him in a casket. I talked to him not long before did it, too. It was like, one day he was there, next gone. We spent three years together in ROTC, three years of early mornings every single day, getting lost during land navigation at Fort McCoy, and other stuff ROTC cadets do.

I know being sad won't bring him back. Maybe I'm in a bit of denial still. I never even deleted his phone number from my cell, almost as if I'm hoping that one day it'll ring and I'll see his name.

 

[redhen]

Very sorry..

 

[debilorrah]

Losing someone that is close to you never really goes away. It's gets a little less painful, but sometimes time does not heal all wounds. I am sorry you are having a rough day with his memory. Here's to hoping tomorrow is better for you.

 

[AhBee01]

I know it's hard, I'm sorry for your loss .My dad will be gone almost 5 years, and I still have his number in my phone

 

[calicokat]

Sending you a PM and some

 

[Laurajean]

I lost a very close friend to suicide back in 1988. He was only 17. I don't mean to be a downer, but I'm still not over it really. I go to his grave every fall, leave a baby pumpkin (something I did when he first died all those years ago) and some mums. I "fill him in" on the last year, have a good cry, and make the long drive back home from Maine. He will always be in my heart as will your friend.

 

[the4heathernsmom]

I am so sorry for your loss!!!

 

[debilorrah]

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This is what I meant with my post. It just doesn't ever completely go away. I honestly believe that people who say "Give it time" and stuff like that have never lost someone to suicide. It is the one form of death humanity will never understand. I certainly don't.

My experience was when I was just 14. I had a guy that I hung out with alot; I was an outcast, and he accepted me. He hung himself in my neighbors garage. It is a less dull pain, but it was my second experience with death, and at such a young age, it stuck with me. I still have nightmares about it. He was 17 also.

 

[redhen]

I've lost 3 people to suicide..
First one was a high school friend... hung himself in his back yard, all over some girl...
Second was my grandfather, he had a stroke and didnt want to live disabled. He wrapped himself in a blanket(so he wouldnt make a mess for anyone), and shot himself in the stomach.
Third was a troubled foster son that i had living with us for a couple of years... he was always in and out of trouble and lock-up/jail since he was 12 yrs old. Last time he went to jail, he
knew it was going to be for a long time, and so he hung himself in the cell...

 

[debilorrah]

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