Stupid Has No Bounds! LOL

[19hhbelgian]

Quote:
If there was a prize on this thread...this would win my vote

Yep, I agree!

 

[imtc]

I took my grandmother to the dr. once for a check-up (she was in her early 90's at the time). The dr. asks her basic questions one of which was if she smoked. (she's always tried to hide it but YES...would smoke as much as I'd let her). She answers the dr. with a "no" to which I replied "um...yes you do", then she says "well, I don't inhale"...the dr. gives her a strange look and she finally says "well ok....but only on one side".

 

[19hhbelgian]

Quote:

Grammy's can be SO much fun!

 

[Cara]

I was in Subway one day waiting for them to make my sandwich when another girl came in. They told her that they had $5 footlongs, and her response was.. "How big are those?"

 

[wombat]

Friends of ours went on a cruise to Alaska. On a boat. On the ocean.

They joined a shore excursion in port one day, docked in a scenic small Alaskan town, with beautiful mountains in the backgound. They were all standing on the dock where they had just gotten off the boat (which floats on the aforementioned ocean) ... and one of the women in the party askes the tour guide "WOW! HOW FAR ABOVE SEA LEVEL ARE WE??"

The guide looks over the side of the dock, pauses, looks at the tourist, and says ... "about three feet, ma'am."



<Here's your sign.>

 

[NoseyChickens]

My 9 yr old daughter was watching TV with my DH. A Proactive commercial comes on talking about clear skin. She turns to him and says "Why would you want clear skin? Then everyone could see your bones".....Which when you think about it, is kind of true!

 

[New adventure]

Quote:

This one knocked me outta my chair!!

A small town near us has a combination liquor store and electronics repair shop. One day 2 boys with stocking caps pulled over their faces went in and robbed the repairman (an older man) of about $60.

An hour or so later, after the cops had been and gone, the same guys (without the masks) came in to the liquor store side to buy beer WITH THE MONEY THEY HAD STOLEN FROM HIM EARLIER! Harvey grabbed them and held on until the cops came back; although he said later that he was ready to bust with laughter! They hadn't even changed their clothes!

 

[saddina]

I went to the pet store tonight for a cuttlebone, and a few other things, the total was 6.76. I handed the cashier 20.01 expecting 13.25 back...

nope he handed me back 13.24 plus the penny I handed him...

My 5 year old said "mommy, he forgot to give you a quarter for the gumball machine" to which my 9 year old says, "Erik he didn't know 24 +1=25 either"...

I was laughing too hard to drive home.

 

[jjdward]

I worked in retail all through high school and I heard some really stupid things. The one that always stood out:
A lady came in and bought our store brand diapers. They were on sale because we had changed the package. Well about two hours later she came back and asked if she could swap the diapers. Since I remembered her from earlier, I said" Okay, go get the ones you need and if they are the same price, we will just swap them out". She comes back with diapers of the same size but with the new package. I said, " ma'am these are the same size as the others" she said, (I swear this is the truth) "well the first ones didn't fit, I guess those little Korean kids are built different. They must have smaller little behinds"

I just stood there waiting for someone to tell me that this was a joke, but no body ever did. I just looked at her and said " have a good day" . What else could I say?!!!! The scary thing is that this lady was raising KIDS!!!!!

 

[hollymh]

In my husband’s defense he is incredibly smart, he is working on becoming a SBB doctor he is that smart lol Anywhooo, we were at pizza place in Fl called Pazoli's(I think) well they said we have 8' pizza and a 12' pizza and my husband retorts with "exactly how big is that?"

We all including the pizza girl just busted out laughing and looked at him like a moron, and then he continues with "oh, right, 8 inches" hahahahahah We still make fun of hime for it...