Stupid Has No Bounds! LOL

I will tell one on myself.
I was on a date one time at a fairly nice restaurant and had ordered a Caesar salad as part of my meal. As the waiter was walking away, I said, "Oh yeah, could I get ranch dressing on that?"
The waiter looked at me like I was a talking chimp and said "Sir, Caesar salad comes with ... Caesar dressing."
I said, "Oh, uh, yeah, of course."
That girl never went out with me again, I don't know why....

I must have come by this honestly:
Once my father and cousin and I were tearing down my grandmother's old rickety deck so we could build a new one. My father was standing on the deck, which was by then only attached to the house and one post. He said, "I think this is the last post" and swung the sledgehammer. You know how Wiley E. Coyote would run off the cliff and hang there for a second, until he realized he was in mid-air and about to fall? I swear this happened. My dad seemed to hang in the air for a second as the realization that he had just knocked out the last load-bearing post settled on him. He and the deck came crashing down. After my cousin and I rushed over and made sure he was alive and all in one piece, we laughed our heads off. And my dad has a PhD. in mathematics and was a college prof. for 28 years! But common sense sometimes escapes us all ...
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My SIL and her cousin were walking their grandmother to the car. The driveway was on a hill and she tripped and fell. She wasn't able to get up. So the cousin yells to my SIL " Call 911". SIL: "Ok, what's the number?"

BTW her grandmother is just fine now.
 
OK. Here's mine.
I went in to the local pet store and among other things, I bought a bone for the dog. I presumed it was a beef bone due to it being about a foot and a half long. When I got to the counter, I was just making converstaion and asked the girl, "What sort of bone is that then?" Her reply: "Well I am not really sure but probably chicken!"
Well me and hubby just laughed our way out of the shop.
 
First off, I just want to thank everyone who posted here, I woke up this morning, all grumpy at the pouring rain, and with caffiene and petulance in mind sat down and laughed my grumpiness away! Thank you!

Now, here are some of my own for you!

I worked for 7 years in Yellowstone National Park, for 3 years as a 'wrangler' leading horseback rides on trails at Roosevelt Lodge. The rest of the time I worked at the many different locations mostly in the Gift shops. Here are some of the more memorable comments and questions.

How long is the one hour ride. (asked daily)

When do the deer turn into elk? (why during thier 3rd winter, in big cocoons hidden under the snow)

If the animals are so dangerous, why dont they leave them in thier cages instead of letting them roam around!

What are the little red dogs that run with the buffalo? (baby bison are orange/red)

Why do all the wild horses in Yellowstone have white butts? (because they are elk! Took me a few cautious questions to figure this one out, as there are no wild horses in YNP!)

Shouldnt they turn the geysers off at night to save water and electricity? (honestly, and from a middle aged woman with teen aged kids!!)

And sadly there were oh so many more that I have forgotten!
 
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I've answered the "how far above sea level" question from cruise ship passengers many times. I worked in an art gallery in Juneau one summer, it was just across the street from the cruise line docks. Literally every day passengers from the ships would come in the store and ask that very question, usually after a comment of "smell that mountain air". It wasn't mountain air they were smelling, merely clean air. My answer would usually be a graceful "about twenty feet". The store was built on fill and less then 100 feet from the waterfront.
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Also got the question of "how much is that in American money?" I always wanted to answer that it was twenty percent more, but we could take the American cash. I was too honest, but it would have been a nice tip for putting up with that nonsense.
 

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