Stupid Human Trick

Boyd

Recipient of The Biff Twang
10 Years
Mar 14, 2009
9,163
20
271
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So the baby starts crying about 1:30 this morning, I swing my legs over the bed and hop straight out, determined to get him changed n fed before he wakes up my wife... ok with me so far?

So there is something I forgot to mention, see, I was sleeping on my side, and somehow my left leg went totally asleep...

Ok so with that bit of information, I swung my legs over the bed, lept to my feet only to have my left foot totally slide out from under me...

Imagine a big fat guy jumping out of bed, intending to do good, and has a chevy chase moment... Still with me?

So instead of just falling down, my leg slides out behind me, pitching me forward where I smack my head and chest off the bed. That doesn't sound to bad right? Well the bad part is I've now done the splits which I've never been able to do, thumped into the bed, and immediately rebound backwards into the closet doors. In the process the leg that slid under the bed in my amazing feats of agility is whipped backwards with the rest of me, smacking and scraping my knee.

So instead of sneakily, stealthily and without waking my wife, I've totally failed. Not only am I cursing a blue streak the baby is now screaming in horror. Lil guy must have witnessed my stupid human trick and was scared that I was going to still come over to pick him up. No way he wanted my clumsy butt to do that. Wife got up and made sure I was ok and then laughed and fed the baby.

Here I am hoping she sorta forgot the incident when she gets up this morning
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Quote:
hahahaha

I find that if I take the feedings during the night time, my wife gets a better quality of sleep, and is grateful
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Besides, she always hands the baby to me to burp... I guess I get more gas out
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Wow, now that's impressive.
Sounds like your form was good and you stuck the landing, but I'm not sure about your artistic impression what with the cursing-I'll give you an 8.
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I'm sorry, I couldn't resist-glad you didn't hurt yourself any worse and thank God you weren't holding the baby.
 
Yeah, you're out of luck on her forgetting that performance. A+++++ for effort, though. How sore are you today? DH is better at getting burps out of newborns that I am, too.
 
And that's why I heartily endorsed my wife's decision to natural feed the little ones we had. (for 18 months minimum)
 

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