Surely, I'm not the only one....?

[Lunachick]

That does not like to go to showers. Baby showers, wedding showers...I just can't do it anymore. I'm happy for the person, but I'd rather stay home.

Half the people at these events I hardly know. I'm not much for small talk, and really, you know how that is at these showers. I come home with a sore facial muscles from a fake smile.

I got an invite to my step daughter's grandbaby shower.

How do I tactfully get out of it? Even hubby will side with me after I tell him how these things usually go. He suggested that we made that date for a trip weeks ago. I think it'll work. Anybody got good ideas?

If you enjoy these things, good for you. But I don't. I think it's because I've had my share of them.

 

[Buff Hooligans]

I'm with you. Most people feel awkward being the recipient of all the attention, as well as the guests who just wish they could leave their present and go home.

I especially feel badly for attendees who wish they were in the celebrated persons' position - i.e. single but wish they were the bride to be, without children but wanting them, etc.

 

[Harley's girl]

I hate them............I did not even want to go to mine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I too am happy for the person but seriously....who likes those corny games? un They bother me. Tell them you are camping for the week/weekend. Especially on the day.

 

[CityGirlintheCountry]

AMEN!!! I hate them too. I would generally just as soon stay at home piled up on the sofa with a good book and a pizza.

Take your trip. That would be way more fun all the way around. If you like the step-daughter and her son/daughter perhaps invite them to go out for a nice family dinner and give them a sweet gift then. (Because shopping for shower gifts IS fun, especially baby showers!)

Good luck! I feel your pain.
CG

 

[CityGirlintheCountry]

Actually, my girlfriends and I have a theory that we should do away with wedding showers altogether. A woman should just get to have a swell party at perhaps ages 25, 35 and 45. Heck, let't toss in 55 and 65 as well. All the crap you get at a wedding shower you need at age 25 anyway, whether you have a man in the picture or not. And at all the other ages you are experiencing life changes and need the support of friends and family.

Why is getting a husband the only reason your friends should celebrate?

 

[miss_jayne]

i did not enjoy going to MY OWN! i just felt strange and i do not enjoy other showers; i do however enjoy picking out gifts for the recipient. i just wish there was a more relaxed shower or something! no dumb games that that SAME lady wins every time. why don't they give a trophy that she can just keep forever and kill the games. whatever happened to tea sandwiches with 5 women? everything has to be 'big' now.

i just read a few days ago that men are starting to have showers now so they aren't 'left out'. whatev.

also, what about the guests that your MIL or DM INSIST you invite and then you have NO idea when you open the card/gift where you are supposed to look or direct your attention to!?!?! there is the mother of all awkwardness!

i am a very happy person, i just don't enjoy this scenario. maybe i will throw my kids non-showers...is that a bath or just dingy????

 

[d.k]

* Sometimes, I don't mind at all. If it's close family, or friends-- that's great. But, I recently got 3 invites/reminders for the GRANDSON of a couple I went to church with years ago-- that we were not terribly close to us. The wedding is in Colorado!!! I think I met the kid 3 times when he was less than 1O years old-- I can't even figure out why we were on the list, eh??

 

[FloridaChickenChick]

Quote:
I really don't think anyone thinks getting married is the only reason to celebrate with friends, but it IS a major milestone and should be celebrated with those who feel like celebrating.

I absolutely LOVE your idea of the mid-decade parties! Just to celebrate surviving! It could even be a swell party without gifts if gift giving is offensive!

 

[CityGirlintheCountry]

I'm just bitter and cynical.

In my 20s and 30s I worked in an industry that meant being involved in lots of high-end weddings. It was beyond aggravating to be inundated with idiot 20 year old twinkies without an intelligent thought in their sweet little heads spending hundreds of thousands of dollars of daddy's money on a wedding. And then to see the shower stuff awarded them because they were getting married. Whoohoo. They had done absolutely nothing useful for society (well... other than help create a job for me!

) and they were feted. On the flip side I knew of many, many young women struggling to make ends meet because they had chosen either school or a career or peace corps or the like. And nobody offered them diddly.

I agree that a wedding is a celebration and should be honored. I totally disagree that it should be a gift fest. I say again, every young woman and young man at that age could use the basic essentials of life to start them off. I would much prefer that we as a society honored young people for making a contribution to society and doing something useful, rather than just hooking up with someone. Especially since most of those marriages won't last all that long. Imagine if we gifted people to help them start their lives regardless of their marital status and instead gave words of wisdom to those getting married. Perhaps instead of a frying pan or toaster we should give them tips on how to stay married or how to love your husband in spite of his dirty underwear on the floor and his irritating habits. That seems to be more win/win for everybody!

I'm not really trying to start an argument on this thread. Trust me. I have had variations on this argument with my very traditional mother for years. I will also be the first to fess up that as a non-married almost 40 year old woman, I have a VERY different perspective on this than most. The whole "Wedding" thing has very powerful juju and sucks in most. I'm just cynical from a decade of wedding planning/parties and from decades of watching my very special single friends get ignored and left out. All because for whatever reason Prince Charming just didn't show up.

Just my 2 cents...

 

[speckledhen]

Can't stand showers! But, I hate parties in general, and especially with a bunch of women. I'm just a bit anti-social, I think.