Teddy is gone. - soooo upset.

[CCRabbetts]

I am so very sorry for your loss. I recently have gone through many losses of my family and I totally can empathize with you. I hope you can transfer your energies to gardening and maybe you can have your sons garden with you! I find it to be so very relaxing and when I would babysit four girls with different levels of autism we would garden and they loved to learn and dig and get dirty! If you ever need someone to talk to I am here!

My thoughts are with you.

 

[BooBoo45]

I'm so sorry for your loss, our pets are very much part of our family and it is often their unconditional love that helps us through the bad stuff in life. They are the welcome home cuddle, the one person you can pour all your sadness and fears out to without the worry of having to remain strong for others. You gave Teddy a lovely home, with lots of love and it is very clear that he has wanted for nothing. He had a very good life and you need to feel proud of yourself for looking after him and more importantly making the most selfless decision you can possibly make - you put him first and allowed him to have a pain free passing. That really is the ultimate gift you could give him, a thank you for all the love he gave to you. It takes a lot of courage and love to do that.

You now need to allow yourself time to grieve, as you would for a human friend. You don't get over this sort of thing in a few days, it takes months. Even more so when you have such a lot to deal with on top of that and it sounds like you are normally the one that has to be strong for everyone else. You can only take so much of that before depression sets in, all the goodness gets sucked out of your life and you just don't want to face dealing with any more. You are scared of what the next knock will be. If that is how you are feeling now and only you know that, then please, I urge you, go and talk to a doctor. There is no stigma involved in needing some help and it can be the turning point for a happier future. When you have so much sadness in your life it really does cause a chemical imbalance and there for the grace of God goes any one of us. It needs a kick start to get it back to the right levels again.

I'd also say that when the time feels right you should consider getting another cat - NOT to replace Teddy, you'll never be able to do that. He was a one off. But our hearts have the capacity to give a lot of love and even if you don't get a kitten, then there are older cats in need of loving homes. Special people like you can given them a future.

 

[oesdog]

I am so very sorry for your loss. I recently have gone through many losses of my family and I totally can empathize with you. I hope you can transfer your energies to gardening and maybe you can have your sons garden with you! I find it to be so very relaxing and when I would babysit four girls with different levels of autism we would garden and they loved to learn and dig and get dirty! If you ever need someone to talk to I am here!

My thoughts are with you.

Thanks for your thoughts! I am sorry to hear that you have suffered loss too in your family.
One thing we do a lot of in this house is gardening. I am with you completely on the getting back to nature bit. It fills me with a feeling of accomplishment as I put on my plate what I have grown in the yard! ( mental note to self that chicken is good to go with veg - IF only I could bring myself to rear meat birds I would get an entire meal! lol)
Danny likes the garden but functions at such a low level he really only "helps" with the watering hose - which usually means trying to soak daddy! I don't have the other lad living here as he has his own home and garden! - He also has his own chickens. Sad to say both my boys have brain damage, Danny also has Autistic tendency so that can be as I am sure you know a wee bit challenging! DH ( dear Hubby) finds Gardening helpful but again due to his disabilities he cannot work for very long at things that require being in one place or things like digging etc. So I do a lot of that. I can tell you if I could get a bigger plot I would have fruit and veg growing everywhere! - It does indeed help stress.

Oes

 

[oesdog]

I'm so sorry for your loss, our pets are very much part of our family and it is often their unconditional love that helps us through the bad stuff in life. They are the welcome home cuddle, the one person you can pour all your sadness and fears out to without the worry of having to remain strong for others. You gave Teddy a lovely home, with lots of love and it is very clear that he has wanted for nothing. He had a very good life and you need to feel proud of yourself for looking after him and more importantly making the most selfless decision you can possibly make - you put him first and allowed him to have a pain free passing. That really is the ultimate gift you could give him, a thank you for all the love he gave to you. It takes a lot of courage and love to do that.

You now need to allow yourself time to grieve, as you would for a human friend. You don't get over this sort of thing in a few days, it takes months. Even more so when you have such a lot to deal with on top of that and it sounds like you are normally the one that has to be strong for everyone else. You can only take so much of that before depression sets in, all the goodness gets sucked out of your life and you just don't want to face dealing with any more. You are scared of what the next knock will be. If that is how you are feeling now and only you know that, then please, I urge you, go and talk to a doctor. There is no stigma involved in needing some help and it can be the turning point for a happier future. When you have so much sadness in your life it really does cause a chemical imbalance and there for the grace of God goes any one of us. It needs a kick start to get it back to the right levels again.

I'd also say that when the time feels right you should consider getting another cat - NOT to replace Teddy, you'll never be able to do that. He was a one off. But our hearts have the capacity to give a lot of love and even if you don't get a kitten, then there are older cats in need of loving homes. Special people like you can given them a future.

Thanks for your thoughts!
Don't worry I am not about to cave under the passing of the cat! - I am sad he is gone but perhaps more so for the pain that the passing has caused my DH. Dear fellow was crying a lot on and off and one night even got the cats ashes off the shelf and put the casket in his lap so that he coudl watch TV with his friend. I think he will come round in time it is just quite raw at the moment for him. As you say it will take time. When my Dog died suddenly 2yrs back I cried like a baby for months, the grief I felt was so very profound. Now we have a new pup that has settled well and we both adore him. As for the Cat issue, I don;t think either of us want another one at the moment or even in the near future. We are happy to have a bit of freedom to go away and travel. We can take Dogs with us easier that a cat or even kennel the dogs. Cats are very territorial and don't like moving about. The dogs can go camping and even abroad if we chose. So there is a lot of possitives being a Cat free zone right now. Although we are very uspet and miss Tedds very much indeed I think we have resolved ourselves to wait a few years and get the right cat for us. - Maybe in 5/6 yrs time? or longer! lol. I do have all teds things washed and pressed and parceled up in the store so it is all there for when we finally get another one. But indeed it is not going to be like when Murphy died and we got Baily a few months later. This is something entirely different. -
If I went to see my Dr about my issues - love her she would be on Prosac!!!!

As for depression - That is I believe something you can invite in let it gradually cross your brain and then you usher it quietly and firmly out the back door! It is an illness that takes its course and with luck leaves you unscathed or completely insane - I am of course the latter veriety!

Oes

cool and fine as ever!