Teenage daughters. Arrrghhh!!!

[Linda in San Diego]

I am not sure what you can do - sounds like she needs to find out some hard truths - everyone is unique and no one feels like the fit in.

Funny story - At my school we had a teacher's assistant that was and is totally unique, she is at a different school this year. Hair in dreads, wears tie die or ethnic dress only, piercings everywere (and many I don't want to know about). She wears patcholi oil and goes to outdoor festivals to do hair wraps. One year it was "twin day", dress alike and show school spirit. The principal, a very conservatively dressed female and B decided to "swap" for twin day. The principal dressed in a tie die gown and B dressed in a suit with her dreads covered somehow. B's son would not let her drop him off anywhere near his high school that day, she embarassed him by being dressed what others might say was "normal", we laughed about it all day - in fact we still laugh about it!

Good luck with your DD - she will survive and so will you!

 

[redhen]

yes, it IS very normal..but still very disrespectful....maybe i am hard...but..i would let her know whats, what, and whos house it is.*explain to her that the chickens are NOT HER decision....and ask her why she thinks they are???*..you sound like a fun family!...i also do silly things to embarress my teen foster boys...heehe.*but, they take in all in fun..and appreciate that i care enough TO embarress them!..* (if that makes any sense??)..there is NO reason for any child, *teen or not* to be rude to an adult...they dont have to like what you do..but they need to learn respect for you and any others....it sounds like your other/older girl got it...this one will also..just dont let her be disrespectful to you and your home....thats my advise...

 

[Chicken Lil]

Actually I have tried getting her interested in the chickens. That is why I bought two silkies, as they are so different. She wants nothing to do with them. As for our other pets she has a dog that she loves, but she can't stand my dog. She can take or leave the cats.

As to trying to get her friends interested my DD has a fit if I talk to her friends to much. She will let me know after they leave how she does not want me talking to her friends becasue I am such an embarassment.

I sometimes think I have created a monster with this girl. She does exceptionally well in school, and all of her teachers and coaches love her, but with me it is a whole different thing.

DD was chronically ill as a little girl, and I almost lost her when she was five from kidney failure. For many years she had to deal with a lot of pain and multiple hospitalizations. Thankfully she has been in a good remission for a while, and the doctors know how to contol the problem when it does flares up.

I so love this child and because she was so sick for so long I did not always discipline her the way I did my other DD. Plus I spoiled her when I could. Guess I'm paying for it now.

I just hope she comes around again and realizes just how much she means to me.

 

[redhen]

Quote:
well..you just explained it right there...its all in your hands now...or just live with it...its your choice...

wanted to add...i bet she will come around....you sound like an awesome parent! you care enough to make this post! (HUGS) best wishes!, Wendy

 

[luvmychicknkids]

I can still remember so well when I was ashamed to even admit I had a mother!!! Going out in public with her was mortifying. Why? I have no clue. I loved her. I just felt sooooooooooo ashamed of her. Guess what. She is now my #1 shopping buddy.

We do a LOT of school day shopping.

Once we both get our kids dropped off at school (she is raising 10 y/o twins) we meet somewhere and hang out. I truly believe your daughter will come around. Until then, hange in there....this too shall pass.

 

[Chicken Lil]

I will say that with everyone else she is very respectful. And after I took away her cell phone for some of her snotty remarks she has been more respectful to me.

Just seems that she can not wait to get away from me, and that she is wants nothing to do with me.

Sometimes I think she is mad at me for having been so different from everyone else for so long. Almost as if it she blames me for her being so sick.


Hopefully my hen will be back outside soon and I won't have to deal with the attitude from DD.

Anyone know how long it usually takes to break a hen from being broody?

And thanks to all of you for your insights. Sometimes being a mom is really rough.

 

[FrenchHen]

I had a rocky relationship with my mom too.
Definitely embarassed by her on more than one occasion.
She still sings out loud in stores to the Muzak and it makes me nuts.

We talk on the phone several times a week.

 

[cparian]

I was the easy going daughter in our family with my older sister being the one who was ashamed of all of us! She would never come out of her room. She was mortified if my parents made her go somewhere in public with the family. She was very prissy & self absorbed thru her early 20's.

She got married at 23 had children & is now the sweetest most down to earth person you could know. I hate to admit it but she spends more time with my mom than I do now & to think she wouldn't let my mom even meet her dates when she was younger.

It's a long hard road but I assure you, she loves you & will eventually show it again someday.

 

[redhen]

Quote:
you guys will be okay! if she is respectful to others, that IS so very important...that means she HAS gotten what you taught her! and she may be bitter with you for her being sick....you were probably always closest to her during it...so, you may be her thumping board for stress..*which with teens, there IS so much!*...she may count on you to "always" just be there......and i get that....but...maybe just try to gently explain to her, that it hurts you....and moms DO have feelings also!..and that sickness is not an excuse for being mean to others......

 

[b.hromada]

right now, 2 of my daughters are like that. The one thats 20, everything bothers her, my chickens, my fostering kittens for our animal control, our opossum, you name it, she complains. She has even said that my friend and I "have some kind of sickness" its just not natural to be the way we are. I tell her, she ought to be happy that we are this way. she could have grown up in my older sisters house, where NO animals were ever aloud because of her husband!

All I can say is, I'm glad I'm the way I am, and I think that really deep down, they do too. Its just so hard to get past "the attitude" if you know what I mean.