Take a bag of rocks. Hang it from a tree. Yell at it for an hour. Repeat.
Walk from the front door to the back door and get lost. Scream for an hour. Repeat.
Randomly knock on your neighbors door and yell at them for an hour. Repeat.
A few examples of life with guineas.

I love the description. I swear guineas are dumber than dirt. We just started with some, they are still babies in the brooder and already I know that if I didn't want guineas for two specific jobs, I'd get rid of them because they irritate me so much. We put them in with some chicks we hatched and they have taught the chicks to be really flighty and stupid too. Last week, went from using a gallon of water a day to almost no water out of their waterer in 2 days. We finally figure out they had somehow forgotten how to drink. Once we showed them how again, then the group spent hours doing nothing but drinking because they were so thirsty. How does a month old group of birds suddenly forget how to drink?????? Unbelievable. Have decided that as soon as the guineas are big enough to go to a pen in the pasture, I'm separating them from the chicks so I can try to un-do what the guineas have taught the chicks to be like. Because we've never had chicks so stupid or skittish before until this group of chicks that is living with 30 keets. Honestly, I have been wondering how in the world that guineas even survive in the wilds of Africa being so stupid.