The Dawn of the Quilins: How the War Began

[OwlLover]

(Note: This is actually a true story.)

For everyone that doesn't understand the Quilin-Cluckins War. Every word is completely, truthfully honest.

Table of Contents

• The Battle of the Empires Roleplay
  • The dawn of Purple Dust Bunnies
  • The dawn of the Quilins
  • The birth of the Quilin Having a Tantrum
• The Quilin Having a Tantrum Grows a Mind of its Own
• Threads and Battles
  • State a Fact About Yourself
    • The dawn of the Orange Utensils
  • Run With The Pack Roleplay
  • The Band Perry Fan Club Battle
    • The dawn of the Cluckins Army
  • The Ice Cream Song Battle
  • The Council of Quilins & Cluckins
• Conclusion

A long, long time ago, there was a user named OwlLover. She was a seasoned RPer, and was well-respected among her peers. Over a year ago, on August 30, 2012 at 9:28 AM Eastern time, she started a roleplay called "The Battle of the Empires". The RP was not very successful at first, but really took off at around November and December of 2012. Months passed, and many members came and went.

The first major point in the war was created when the commander and creator of the Quilins, miss heny, found a character known as a Kohl in a battle amusing. She called him a "Purple Dust Bunny", as shown here:

Quote:
This became an inside joke on the roleplay, but after a short time, it died off. However, over a year later, it would be resurrected by OwlLover.

At some point later in the roleplay, miss heny created a race known as the Quilins, pictured below. OwlLover was intrigued by this species, but didn't know how to fit in with the plot that surrounded them. She grew to love this species as she watched from the sidelines.

A year passed, and many members came and went. At last, a member called WTFchicks (Whitney T. Fun chicks) joined. During a RP session between miss heny and WTFchicks, OwlLover found a line stated by miss heny's character (see Quoted post below) hilarious.

Quote:
This was when the war truly began.

OwlLover thought this was the funniest thing she had ever seen in her life. She felt the need to share this on the State a fact about yourself thread.

I AM A QUILIN THROWING A TANTRUM. FEAR ME. I HAVE SENT OUT PURPLE DUST BUNNIES.

Shortly after, a member called ClucksAndPeeps retaliated with the orange utensils. How they came about is unknown.

Quote:
A brief joke battle commenced, until miss heny managed to haul OwlLover away and back onto the Battle of the Empires thread to roleplay.

Short battles continued on threads such as the COY and the Run With The Pack Roleplay. But it was not until a joke dispute came up that the war truly began to evolve into a full-scale war.

A discussion about the best country band of all time, The Band Perry, came up on the Run With The Pack Roleplay. Shortly after, ClucksAndPeeps and OwlLover sparked a joke dispute over who was the #1 fan, and wrote a song about eating pork flavored ice cream with a fork. The Quilin having a tantrum, Purple Dust Bunnies, and Orange Utensils came up again, and a joke battle hijacked the thread for 10 whole pages, until ilovemysilkie bravely stood up and created The Band Perry Fan Club. During this battle, OwlLover earned her war name, Owlkins, and ClucksAndPeeps was given a similar name, Cluckins. The battle finished off on that thread, but it certainly wasn't the end of the war. No, nothing could be further from the truth.

Shortly after the Fan Club was buried, Owlkins started a new thread titled "The Ice Cream Song". It was the same song that Cluckins, Owlkins, and ilovemysilkie had written on RWTP, but Owlkins had changed it from "pork" to "cookies and cream", her favorite flavor of ice cream. Cluckins was outraged, and in response, Owlkins created a chat thread titled "The Council of Quilins". For Cluckins, this was the straw that broke the camel's back, and war was officially declared. In retaliation, Cluckins created The Council of Cluckins.

Both Owlkins and Cluckins are organizing their armies. The Quilin having a tantrum, the alternative name for The Owlkins, is planning something huge... and a great war is coming.

Which side will you choose?

And most importantly... will GJF survive?

 

[ClucksAndPeeps]

THE ORANGE UTENSILS ARE SO AWESOME THAT THEY DO NOT HAVE TO TELL ANYBODY HOW THEY ENDED UP IN AN ORCA'S MOUTH.

 

[ClucksAndPeeps]

It's quite the intriguing story, really. Maybe the chief will choose to reveal it, one day soon.

For now, the chief shall just stroke the CLUCKIN repeatedly, or maybe hop onto it's back for a nice ride.

 

[OwlLover]

QUILINS ARE MUCH MORE INTRIGUING THAN SOME WORTHLESS ORANGE FORKS AND SPOONS.

 

[ClucksAndPeeps]

UTENSILS. GAWSH.

YOU LIE LIKE THE PENNY IN THE PARKING LOT AT THE GROCERY STORE.

 

[ClucksAndPeeps]

There were no spoons left
So we had to use a fork
From last night's pork

Last night we stayed up till dawn
Eating our ice cream on the lawn
In front of a fawn

 

[OwlLover]

UTENSILS. GAWSH.

YOU LIE LIKE THE PENNY IN THE PARKING LOT AT THE GROCERY STORE.

YOU LIE LIKE THE MAN WITH THE SLICK BLACK HAIR WHO SOLD ME THAT FORD

 

[ClucksAndPeeps]

YOU LIE LIKE THE PRICELESS PERSIAN RUG ON A RICH MAN'S FLOOR

 

[OwlLover]

There were no spoons left
So we had to use a fork
From last night's pork

Last night we stayed up till dawn
Eating our ice cream on the lawn
In front of a fawn

GOSH CLUCKINS

THE CORRECT LYRICS ARE

There were no spoons left
So we had to use a fork
To eat our cookies and cream ice cream

Last night we stayed up till dawn
Eating our ice cream on the lawn
In front of a fawn

QUIT BEING SO LAZY

 

[OwlLover]

YOU LIE LIKE THE PRICELESS PERSIAN RUG ON A RICH MAN'S FLOOR

TALKING TO YOURSELF