The Evolution of Atlas: A Breeding (and Chat) Thread

seminolewind

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My chickens are still good and I'm still trying to train my 3 Ferns to NOT peck my legs! I have tiny bruises on my calves! It's supposed to dip into the teens tomorrow night - Brrr!

I ended up cleaning/collecting/spreading horse manure. My mule was being repaired. So I must have cleaned up minimum of 70 plops the last few days. Talk about achy back. Horses poop about 50 pounds a day. Thank goodness I have a spreader -it's really helpful.

Because she's been in ankle deep mud for weeks and weeks, I made her a smaller paddock and ordered sand and lime to cover the ground. I'm so happy about that. Clean horse! My chickens are getting /got wood chip like mulch. It works great in the pen.

Now I have a dilemma. Family stuff. I moved to Indiana because it was time to live near my daughter and family ( she wanted me to live near her since my dx of having breast cancer). Maybe she thought I'd be more needy However, lately I feel --well- not so close with her.. I don't know, maybe I'm lost. I guess maybe I thought we would be like good friends-she's 40. She did want me to move really bad. She says I should have friends. Well, I haven't had a close friend for 10 years. And really don't mind cause I have so much to do everyday. I did want a life like a mini farmer and I live that now. I think ya'll know about liking chickens more than people. But it's certainly not like I wait around for her calls (like because I am friendless now, LOL) I asked her a few days ago if she wanted to hang out, lunch, go shopping, etc, just something. She said today was good. So I go to pick her up, and I guess her husband is going with us. (not mother-daughter time?) And shopping turns out to be a trip to Costco for food shopping and a huge liquor store for some wine. (I like wine too).

How does this sound? Maybe I should confront her nicely about I am feeling like about her non interest in whatever I talk about. Etc.
Maybe I should be the one who says I'm going to …… If you want to come I'll pick you up. I should be more assertive in what I want to do! And when she's not listening to me, I should just stop talking or bring it to her attention. Maybe I should take the lead . I should call her and say "let's go to lunch and go to Kohl's" . :confused:
 

getaclue

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I'm being nosy, but why was he not at work today? Was it a change in his plans, which necessitated a change in her plans? Is he a control freak, making it hard for her to spend some hang time with you?

From what you've said, I gather that she's not really interested in your animals, and homesteading activities. What is she interested in? Were you two ever close (not just close in proximity, but relationship close)? You have not really been living near each other for quite some time, have grown apart, and developed different interests. It can take some time, and effort to re-establish common ground, and rebuild a relationship. Of course, both parties must be willing.

I think my next invite would be for her to meet me for lunch. That's it. If she shows up with him, another friend, doesn't show, or whatever, enjoy your lunch, then leave. If she shows up alone, during lunch you might want to mention going to Kohl's, getting a pedicure, or whatever. If she suggests grocery shopping, or something like that, tell her you'd rather not, that you're on a mission to go to Kohl's that day.

I'm a pretty straight forward person. I'd make another attempt, or two, then flat out ask her about it. If she starts that "you need friends" spiel, I'd let her know that a good mother-daughter relationship is just as important as friends, and that's what you'd like for both of you to work on.
 

speckledhen

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You and I are much alike, Karen. I'm fine without human contact, actual physical proximity. If I was alone, no way I'd allow either of my single sons to move in with me. I have plenty to occupy my mind with quilts and chickens and a few other pursuits to fill my days if I can avoid the crazy narcissists our society seems to be breeding at an alarming rate...and I mean the real, clinical kind. You may have to have a real talk with her eventually and lay it all out, like Cheryl said.
 

seminolewind

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Getclue, you have some good ideas there! I would not ever consider you or anyone else here nosy!!! ---so did you go to the state fair in Tampa?

Her hubs was home because he's been taking time off from work to finish his degree. I can't figure out why he came with us unless she told him "it's a Cosco trip" like for food.

". If she starts that "you need friends" spiel, I'd let her know that a good mother-daughter relationship is just as important as friends, and that's what you'd like for both of you to work on."

I think we've been really close , I've been a single parent to her, and we both feel that we would do anything for eachother. We have not lived near eachother for 20 years, and now we both wanted me closer.

You're right . I thinlk I need to be more assertive about what I want , and it aint much! She's not into the farm/chicken thing but I think it will come, LOL. I don't think she's figured out why I chose to live in a 100 year old house. I think you all would understand that! Aside from that I have always been like this and she grew up this way with me into horses, gardening, growing veggies. her allowance all those teenage years was to remove horse manure every day. I remember her raking up manure wearing my old faux fur coat, LOL. As a teen I think her 2 best friends loved me and it really did keep us together since the friend was kind of a buffer. I had always treated those 2 friends like my own and one still calls me mom!!!

I think with what you replied, it shows me how to become more assertive and treat her like I want relationship to be. I should not wait for her to develop this-I AM the mother!
 

seminolewind

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You and I are much alike, Karen. I'm fine without human contact, actual physical proximity. If I was alone, no way I'd allow either of my single sons to move in with me. I have plenty to occupy my mind with quilts and chickens and a few other pursuits to fill my days if I can avoid the crazy narcissists our society seems to be breeding at an alarming rate...and I mean the real, clinical kind. You may have to have a real talk with her eventually and lay it all out, like Cheryl said.
Thankyou for sharing that. Sometimes I get to feel odd that I do enjoy being alone. You make me feel like I'm not the only one who feels like this. I do have my chickens who will eat up any Time I give them. The horse needs alot of maintenance. And I always find that I am not lonely if alone. It's enough to live with "retirement syndrome" with hub home 24/7. So thank you Cynthia for your empathizement. I also think I will join this Library Quilting group (just sit and use a needle). It may get me back into some projects that never got finished.

Does anyone remember Paul Harvey? He was always on dad's radio when I was sneaking back in after being out with friends. I just got a wonderful quote he said. I will find it.
 

speckledhen

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Thankyou for sharing that. Sometimes I get to feel odd that I do enjoy being alone. You make me feel like I'm not the only one who feels like this. I do have my chickens who will eat up any Time I give them. The horse needs alot of maintenance. And I always find that I am not lonely if alone. It's enough to live with "retirement syndrome" with hub home 24/7. So thank you Cynthia for your empathizement. I also think I will join this Library Quilting group (just sit and use a needle). It may get me back into some projects that never got finished.

Does anyone remember Paul Harvey? He was always on dad's radio when I was sneaking back in after being out with friends. I just got a wonderful quote he said. I will find it.
I do remember Paul Harvey, but unfortunately, his voice is much like another man's voice that brings back bad memories, but Paul was a smart man.

Dru is again acting very off. The chickens have been inside for about three days now, mostly due to a large part of my groups being so old that I can't open the door and let in the cold, damp air. But, the Brahmas, as equipped as they are for cold weather, act so prissy and don't like walking around if the ground is wet and cold. So, if it's at all okay, I do let them out and Hector's group out and no one else. So, Atlas's group, June's small group, Panda's small group and the Belgian D'Anvers have not been out at all in days.
It is going to be frigid tonight through Saturday morning just after another crazy warm spell. Dru has a painful hock joint and she may just be in pain, but again, she is only about 5-6 mos younger than her Aunt Wynette who just passed away and Wynette had no visible issues with her joints or anything else. If I lose her, I may have to remove Wendy, Zara and Athena from Hector and leave him with his four hens and Atlas would also have four inc Gloria Jean. Atlas may be old and arthritic, but he still has a thing for the ladies, the Delaware is strong in that one, LOL.
 

speckledhen

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Forgot to say that Tom visited the surgeon's office today, again. New x rays and tests show that he is worse and weaker on his left side. So, the surgical nurse was going to consult with the surgeon and see what the next step is since none of the other things have alleviated the pain. On the bright side, the black elderberry has made a huge difference in his cough!
 
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