The Front Porch Swing

[LeslieDJoyce]

One of my fabulous NYC friends, one who is always posting photos of herself at places like the Emmys award shows, who has toured around with Presidents of the USA and been on TV plenty of times, is a working writer ... clever enough to name ice cream flavors for Ben & Jerry's ... she just posted to facebook asking for advice about how to stop making herself miserable by comparing herself to the "fabulous" people she knows.

I felt like telling her ... come live in my house for a while for a bit of perspective. Should I be miserable because I take joy in cleaning the litterbox with Kisa, the grumpy cat who is transformed into a puddle of purr during litterbox cleaning time? Or scrubbing the pooticules off of eggs? Or singing the Bone Song with Gust?

If at our age (nearly 50) there is nothing genuine in the life you've arranged for yourself that gives you real satisfaction and a sense of inner peace solid enough to bolster you against a fair amount of external noise, then you need to take a good, hard look at your own choices.

 

[LeslieDJoyce]

I missed Blooie's post! I thought I quoted it.

In management books they tell you to look at someones forehead! Eye contact is hard. I can't do it either..."

I totally love having my kids with me, so I can look at them instead

And they're a great excuse "I had lots of fun, but, these guys really need a nap now"

I watch people's mouths. It really helps me process what they're saying ... a little bit of lip reading, maybe. But it also helps me process the sounds if I have something visual to connect them to. Otherwise I can get very disoriented.

 

[Blooie]

I guess I'm strange....after years of physical and emotional abuse in school my I just didn't go back after my Christmas break. I had turned 16 the 29th of December, and I was a junior. I just quit. I'd had enough. They already had me convinced that I was all the things they said I was - fleabag, retard, ugly, stupid, worthless, and clumsy so who'd miss me? My suicide was planned for the day Dad got his car back out of the shop - just start it up in the garage and wait for it. Then I had a chance meeting with a good looking sailor and the rest, as they say, is history. Six days later I had my diamond. I told him straight up that I didn't love him - I didn't know if I even knew what that meant but that if it would get me out of that town I'd go with him. Dad, of course, made us wait until after Ken got back from Viet Nam to marry. Said, "If it's meant to be, it will survive." I didn't dare tell Dad what I'd told Ken - he'd never have allowed the marriage to take place under those circumstances. But as Ken and I wrote, I was able to tell him all the things I felt and thought through the medium Dad had encouraged me to use, and I got to know him - what he wanted out of life, what his life was like before and during the Navy, and his gentleness won me over completely. After all of that, I like me just fine. I like who I am, what I am, and where I'm going. I'm genuinely happy.

I know that I am a good, caring person. I know that I'm devoted totally to my family; I know that I'm clever; that I have talents and skills I taught myself; that I laugh easily and often; and that I walk with God by my side, even if He can't figure me out half the time. This is probably an arrogant statement, but frankly if I was looking for a friend I'd pick me. I think in a strange way it's because of growing up with two amazing parents whose only fault was drinking - they never, ever abused us or denied us their love and time - and because of the hurt I felt so deeply growing up among cruel kids, I know well how I don't ever want to treat others. I'd never want anyone to feel the pain I felt, and I'll go out of my way to avoid causing it. Ken was my "Ah HA" moment.....and I don't ever want to let him down.

My classmates and teachers? Well, wouldn't I just love them to know that the ugly, stupid fleabag they went to school with is a professional writer, has had a regular column in a newspaper, has been quoted BY NAME on the floor of the US Senate and has her words permanently entered in the Congressional Record? Wouldn't I love them to meet my amazing family and feel the total love and devotion we have to one another. Wouldn't I love to show them the compassion they never showed me? Wouldn't I love to say, "Thank you, for teaching what kind of human being NOT to be, and how to teach my kids to respect the feelings of others."? Yep, but it isn't necessary. I know these things, my friends and family know them, and my Lord knows them. I didn't need those kids then, and I don't need their approval now.

 

[Triple Willow]

@BCMaraniac... Very well said & it's always good to see God's word.

 

[jmoeller]

Well I tried to catch up on posts but felt if I didnt post what I was thinking now by the time I did get to the end I would forget what I wanted to say. For those looking into alternative education check out www.connectionsacademy.com its a home school program but heres the best part. They send you a computer and printer, if you cant afford internet they assist there too. Its FREE, every state has a local chapter and its easy to join. All the courses are online and they send you all the materials. Teachers are online. Most grades are immediate and you only need to test for CSAP per state guidelines. I used this program for 2 yrs with my kids before we moved here. Check them out, most kids I know dont fit in regular classrooms and after Columbine shooting and almost daily reports of creeps trying to abduct kids walking toschool I had enough. My daughters husbands brother was listed adhd and most of my kids were having trouble in school but programs like this were the best solution. I hope someday to get programs like this here in Libya one day. Many areas the schools are horrible, teachers worse and learning is read/rote style. No individualism or creativity. Its free because of freedom of education act and really worth looking into.
otherwise I had a wedding and a funeral this week on top of sudden severe pain in my hip at lower back. Went to clinic and saw doctor, got an injection and was told couch potato for 4 days unless it worsens. I got a dull ache today. And im beginning to think I have 13 roos! Two more started crowing! Penguin and Uno and both NNs have joined Equinox. Next time I buy chicks wont be from market. But I got a lovely bunch of guys. Also when I take out my FF three like to jump into the bucket and start eating! I pull them out and laugh. They pic the juicy bits off each other.

Oldmomma. Connections Academy is the program Jeremiah uses for school. My daughter did a long term substitute teaching position there. We like the program but it does require a lot of parental involvement. I am able to review everything that is in the curriculum and listen to what the teachers are saying during the live sessions. I don't often do that at this point but if I had concerns I would. I do spend a lot of time "debriefing" my kids after school. In other words, I discuss with them the alternative view on things that are being taught in school. My kids are very independent thinkers and by no means agree with me on all subjects, but we all know where we all stand on different subjects.

13 roo's wow. everyone will be up early at your house.

 

[jmoeller]

Placed a chick and three ducklings under a broody with three chicks of her own this night. If everything goes as it normally does, by morning there will be four little orphans who have a new mama and a very contented foster mama with a larger family. So, tomorrow a Delaware hen may be mothering three BA/WR chicks, one brown chick with big hair and three little khaki colored ducklings.....what an odd looking family that will be. I'll try to get pics of it all.....she's a good mother, so they will be well cared for and mothered to a fare thee well.

It is very chilly tonight, with a full moon shining as bright as day out there...tomorrow~or rather, today~promises to be bright, clear and just the right temp at 77*. We will have our family reunion and plenty of great food and drinks. I'm hoping it all goes well and I'm praying that those in attendance will see Christ in me, and in doing so, want to follow Christ also.....I hope and pray that my family all turn to God and give their lives to Him so they can be free.

I wish there was a light switch one could simply turn on and they would then SEE the truth and want to live their lives filled with it, so that their lives would finally have meaning and a purpose other than to acquire things, stress over worldly things and then dying.

I hope you all have a wonderful day tomorrow and may YOUR lives be filled with the joy and peace that only a heart filled with the light of the Holy Spirit can bring. May your footsteps be blessed as you move through your day and may your smiles always reach your eyes.

Bee, I'm sure everyone will see Christ in you with out a doubt. That is all you can do is show them the way. They have to choose to follow it. I have the same prayers for my family. My son Luke says he doesn't believe in God. He calls him my imaginary friend. Breaks my heart. I just pray everyday that God is working through all the people he comes in contact with to make Luke see the truth. Surely God is using you in that way for other who you come in contact with. Enjoy your family, I pray everything goes well and everyone enjoys.

 

[TexasLisa]

Hehee, sorry for the scare.

Just so you know, all this talking about "me" makes me feel anxious.. I feel as if I talk about myself ALL THE TIME.. it's my way of relating to another person's experiences and feelings by using my own. So I probably do talk about myself all the time. Aaaargh.

O Tomtommom, I think you are a great lady. You are kind, caring, funny, plus I love the way your write. Different people makes the world go round. What is normal anyway??

I'll let you in on a little secret: Everybody puts their pants on the same way.

Just because you take a stand for what you believe in, doesn't mean you are judging others who do not believe as you do. Some people judge....but others do not. Jesus spoke the truth, but he did it in love. When my children sin, I still love them. I tell them what they did was wrong, why it was wrong, what the consequences are or could be, advise them not to do that again, and then it is up to them to choose whether to do it again or not. Even if they do it again, I will still love them.

This is what Jesus would do:

Jesus and the Woman Taken in Adultery
John 8:1-11
1Jesus went unto the mount of Olives.
2And early in the morning he came again into the temple, and all the people came unto him; and he sat down, and taught them.
3And the scribes and Pharisees brought unto him a woman taken in adultery; and when they had set her in the midst,
4They say unto him, Master, this woman was taken in adultery, in the very act.
5Now Moses in the law commanded us, that such should be stoned: but what sayest thou?
6This they said, tempting him, that they might have to accuse him. But Jesus stooped down, and with his finger wrote on the ground, as though he heard them not.
7So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.
8And again he stooped down, and wrote on the ground.
9And they which heard it, being convicted by their own conscience, went out one by one, beginning at the eldest, even unto the last: and Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst.
10When Jesus had lifted up himself, and saw none but the woman, he said unto her, Woman, where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned thee?
11She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more.

This scripture isn't just about sexual sin.....it's about ALL sin.....and we are all sinners. Stoning was the judgment and condemnation of the sin by the Pharisees, which was the law at the time, before Jesus came and brought forgiveness and grace.

Good verses BCMaraniac! Here is another one:

John 7:24: "Do not judge according to appearance, but judge with righteous judgment."

Lisa

 

[jmoeller]

I made 2 cherry and 2 rhubarb pies, but 2 of them have to go to the church social tonight. You can help me decide which ones.

Ooohh, unaladultered pies Yum! Definitely have to keep one of each.


full frontal porch

Sorry to be all technical here but ... How long have you had the house and who took out the roof supports beside the steps? I also love Craftsman style houses and I have NEVER seen one with the bearing side of a porch supported only at the ends. Unless someone replaced or "sistered" a steel beam to the carrying beam, it is a structural failure waiting to happen! Those brick columns are not there for show.



Yep Bruce I understand. The house came that way. We have owned it since '85. The roof hasn't sagged any worse than when we bought it. The whole porch really needs some work. the mortar is crumbling between a lot of the bricks. the cement floor is cracked and leaking into the cistern / wood room below. I would love to turn the area below the porch into a fruit cellar but it is to cold and leaky. We have sat on the porch many evenings trying to figure out how to go about repairing it and it seems very overwhelming and costly so we put it off. at this point it really is more cosmetic than structural, but at some point we will do something.

 

[Triple Willow]

You guys that were bullied in school... did your parents not allow fighting, real physical fighting? I was the youngest of a large extended family. That could be a little rough at times. You always come or are put in last place. When I started school there were bullies. There were boys that were career first graders! LOL I went crying to my teacher one day when they were picking on me and she made fun of me. I never told on anybody for picking on me again. Instead I started fighting. I might not could whip them all but I could hurt them bad as they whipped me so it really wasn't worth it to them. It worked. Shortly nobody picked on me anymore. That worked for all the years to follow. I really didn't have to do much fighting at all because they all knew what I could and I would do if I was pushed into it. People these days act like fighting is just awful. Sometimes it is necessary and when it is necessary it doesn't make that kid bad. You do what you have to do, within reason of course.

 

[jmoeller]

You guys that were bullied in school... did your parents not allow fighting, real physical fighting? I was the youngest of a large extended family. That could be a little rough at times. You always come or are put in last place. When I started school there were bullies. There were boys that were career first graders! LOL I went crying to my teacher one day when they were picking on me and she made fun of me. I never told on anybody for picking on me again. Instead I started fighting. I might not could whip them all but I could hurt them bad as they whipped me so it really wasn't worth it to them. It worked. Shortly nobody picked on me anymore. That worked for all the years to follow. I really didn't have to do much fighting at all because they all knew what I could and I would do if I was pushed into it. People these days act like fighting is just awful. Sometimes it is necessary and when it is necessary it doesn't make that kid bad. You do what you have to do, within reason of course.

In a post earlier I mentioned that my son Jeremiah doesn't like anything that is unfair. He is really upset by it. He is a quiet soft hearted boy who only has kind words for people. but one day in 6th grade he got really tired of this bully who was always picking on another boy during recess. Jeremiah went up to the bully and told him to knock it off, leave the other kid alone. The bully pushed Jeremiah up against the chain link fence and put Jeremiah in a choke hold. Jeremiah bit him. ( like I said he's a lover not a real good fighter) Jeremiah was suspended for 3 days and assault charges where considered because Jeremiah left marks on the bully. NOTHING happened to the bully, he was talked to. Nobody could believe Jeremiah got in trouble, he just isn't that type of kid, but we all told him how proud we where that he stood up for someone even when it didn't turn out in his favor. Like I said in an earlier post, we changed schools.