The Front Porch Swing

[Thriftymom6]

I have to take a public stand here, since this issue has been placed in a public format.  I do believe that if you read the scriptures, they speak very clearly about the issue, and to my knowledge, they were not written within the last 100 years.  Bee stated it well, and, if this thread is closed down for a few of us standing up for what our Lord says, then, let me be counted among those.  To do any less than stand for my faith, is to deny my faith.  So, tolerance is not a one way street.   

Jesus taught love and tolerance. He also challenged the views I others. I will love my porch neighbors and not judge. You have free will and I respect your decisions I just have to ask myself WWJD?

 

[BCMaraniac]

Jesus taught love and tolerance. He also challenged the views I others. I will love my porch neighbors and not judge. You have free will and I respect your decisions I just have to ask myself WWJD?

Just because you take a stand for what you believe in, doesn't mean you are judging others who do not believe as you do. Some people judge....but others do not. Jesus spoke the truth, but he did it in love. When my children sin, I still love them. I tell them what they did was wrong, why it was wrong, what the consequences are or could be, advise them not to do that again, and then it is up to them to choose whether to do it again or not. Even if they do it again, I will still love them.

This is what Jesus would do:

Jesus and the Woman Taken in Adultery
John 8:1-11
1 Jesus went unto the mount of Olives.
2 And early in the morning he came again into the temple, and all the people came unto him; and he sat down, and taught them.
3 And the scribes and Pharisees brought unto him a woman taken in adultery; and when they had set her in the midst,
4 They say unto him, Master, this woman was taken in adultery, in the very act.
5 Now Moses in the law commanded us, that such should be stoned: but what sayest thou?
6 This they said, tempting him, that they might have to accuse him. But Jesus stooped down, and with his finger wrote on the ground, as though he heard them not.
7 So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.
8 And again he stooped down, and wrote on the ground.
9 And they which heard it, being convicted by their own conscience, went out one by one, beginning at the eldest, even unto the last: and Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst.
10 When Jesus had lifted up himself, and saw none but the woman, he said unto her, Woman, where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned thee?
11 She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more.

This scripture isn't just about sexual sin.....it's about ALL sin.....and we are all sinners. Stoning was the judgment and condemnation of the sin by the Pharisees, which was the law at the time, before Jesus came and brought forgiveness and grace.

 

[Blooie]

Didn't get to hook up with Caroline (luvsblues7) yesterday. They got to the junction and headed to Billings looking for Cowley on the way.....I didn't get a chance to tell them they had to turn right at the junction and go 6 miles since I think I misunderstood her in our earlier conversation. I thought she was going to call me when they got to Deaver (the junction) to let me know if they had time to stop by and I could tell them where we lived. Oh, well, we had a nice conversation anyway. I got a text from her that said they were already in Montana and didn't see our town as they traveled. She sounded just a little bewildered when I told her that when I called and left a message on her phone I was kinda expecting to hear a southern accent on the other end - but I heard a booming, deep man's voice with a distinct midwest twang. She said she hoped she'd given me the right number. I checked last night - I compared the number on my call history with the number she gave me. She gave it to me right - I dialed it wrong. I dialed a 406 (Montana) area code instead of the 405 she gave me. Just a whole series of misses, doggone it.

My bags are packed except for cosmetics and last minute items for my carry on. Have been pretty close to completely packed for a couple of days. We'll have to get up at 2:30 am, leave the house at 3, and catch our flight to Seattle at 6 so it'll be early to bed tonight. Tam's going to spend the night (what little there will be of it) so we don't have to worry about picking her up. Should be interesting because we still have Katie. Guess Tam will sleep on the couch and we'll toss Katie in between us for the night. Jenny isn't due home until tomorrow. So she gets to deal with a cranky overtired little girl while she unpacks her and Kendra. Katie is a morning person. She always wakes up with a smile and ready to get on with the day, but up at 2:30, on the road by 3, a two hour drive to Billings and a two hour drive home might be stretching her limits.

I understand that cell service on the cruise is practically non-existent and the fee for using the internet is pretty steep, so I probably won't be able to catch up on all the doings after this evening. Besides - and no offense intended - I imagine I'll have so much going on that I won't even think about it. I barely slept last night I was so excited! I'm taking along my fancy-dancy Canon DSLR camera and I remembered to pack the remote shutter so there will at least be pictures of the two of us in our formals. I hate taking vacation pictures, then looking back and realizing that I ain't in any of them. <sigh>

Bee, have a wonderful time at your family reunion. You've worked so hard to make everything perfect. I don't remember whose idea it was to post porch pictures, but I'm loving looking at them! I got the last "decorations" up on my porch yesterday - my hummingbird feeders are mostly up. I only hung 6 until we see them, then I'll have all 11 going. They are late this year but that's because the wildflowers in the mountains are just overwhelming.....if I was a hummingbird I'd prefer a smorgasbord of wildflowers to a few posies and feeders too!

 

[bruceha2000]

I did the Botox injections for about 2 years after the surgery to fuse my neck was botched. But I've always had migraines - they just intensified after the fusion. I hated the Botox injections. I usually got between 10 and 12 of them, starting in the back of my head just above where it joins the neck and down my shoulders and mid-back. Every pressure point my neurologist marked got shot. Them suckers HURT! Once I was put on Relpax the severity and duration of the them improved significantly. I take it at the very first sign that one is coming on and it usually stops it dead in its tracks after about 20 minutes.

Rebekah (my 21 y/o with the now 7 year old 24x7 migraine based headache has been on every drug they could come up with that would be prophylactic and they all either had bad side effects, were effective for a short period or were not effective at all. Then biofeedback, acpuncture and the last was Botox injections in her head. Those hurt like the dickens the first time, her scalp stung for days. She even let them do it a second time when the first didn't work because sometimes it takes a couple of rounds. No good. Now she has Relpax and if she gets triggered with one of the "on top of the migraine" migraines it can be stopped if she hits the Relpax ASAP but nothing has been found to keep them from being triggered.

I made 2 cherry and 2 rhubarb pies, but 2 of them have to go to the church social tonight. You can help me decide which ones.

Ooohh, unaladultered pies Yum! Definitely have to keep one of each.


full frontal porch

Sorry to be all technical here but ... How long have you had the house and who took out the roof supports beside the steps? I also love Craftsman style houses and I have NEVER seen one with the bearing side of a porch supported only at the ends. Unless someone replaced or "sistered" a steel beam to the carrying beam, it is a structural failure waiting to happen! Those brick columns are not there for show.

Anyway, my mom had a ton of triggers. MSG, chocolate, sulfites in wine, french cheese, strong scents/perfumes. Don't remember the rest, but it was quite a list.

Mine are MSG, nitrates/nitrites (meaning no cured meats!), artificial sweeteners (think aspertame, sorbital, etc etc), man made fragrances, Purell, cigarette smoke, any number of foods including citrus.

Rebekah doesn't have the food triggers other than the artificial sweeteners (even people chewing gum with them near her can set her off) but fragrances, cigarette smoke, loud noises, weather pressure changes, light and lots of other stuff can do her in. We both have charcoal masks to wear to protect us from other people who "smell good". Had to wear them on the 2.5 hour flight from Burlington to Chicago since the lady in front of me slapped something on (might have been lotion, I didn't see it) just after we took off. I can usually go without the mask, I can hold my breath and get away if I get a whiff then my head twinges (makes going down the cleaning and laundry aisle of the store impossible). Rebekah's head is gone as soon as she smells it so she always has her mask on out in the "world" unless we can tell her it is safe.

The spinach artichoke dip Bruce and his girls made for our lunch was a big hit! Dad was licking the plates. I over cooked the steaks, but it was good meat so we could still chew it. Next up, strawberry shortcake, minus the cake. Strawberry Even Shorter Cake? More room for whipped cream, I think.

Sadly someone (me

) forgot to bring the gluten free crackers Rebekah brought so she had to eat hers plain. Leslie had some great sourdough bread for the rest of us.

Thanks Leslie, we all love you! Such a nice person. You all are lucky to have her on Bee's porch.

Speaking of Asberghers Autism ADD and ADHD.... I found this article a good read

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Temple_Grandin

http://content.time.com/time/arts/article/0,8599,1960347,00.html

what she invented

http://www.grandin.com/design/design.html


I read a short story about her some time ago and cannot find it... urg

deb

Dr. Grandin is indeed one in a million in the animal husbandy world. Some of the things she came up with to relieve stress on animals are SO SIMPLE but no one ever thought like the animal. Like using a U shaped chute to load cattle. They think they are going back to the barn, not at ALL scary.

Eye contact (or total lack thereof) was a big concern for her doctors and therapists.

I have a friend with Aspbergers (well I highly suspect it, wouldn't ask but all the signs are there). He's 28 now, was 20 when I met him. When I first met him everyone at the skating rink was worried about the young guy that would come to watch the skaters by himself but not talk to anyone or look at them. Have to admit it did have the earmarks of "creepy" since most of the skaters are primarily girls, teen and younger. But I talked to him (was president of the club at the time). He had always liked watching figure skating and wanted to be a judge even though he had never skated himself. Long story short (and the relevance to Blooie's comment) he found looking people in the eye PHYSICALLY painful. He can look me in the eye for a short time now and we have shared a hotel room on skating trips. He is a lot better socially now and has quite the sense of humor with people he knows well. He is quite intelligent and can write an lengthy and extremely articulate email that lets you know there is a LOT in that very quite person. He is still not very comfortable socially but forces himself because you can't do the judging thing without interacting with people.

Bruce

 

[Loc20chick]

Placed a chick and three ducklings under a broody with three chicks of her own this night. If everything goes as it normally does, by morning there will be four little orphans who have a new mama and a very contented foster mama with a larger family. So, tomorrow a Delaware hen may be mothering three BA/WR chicks, one brown chick with big hair and three little khaki colored ducklings.....what an odd looking family that will be. I'll try to get pics of it all.....she's a good mother, so they will be well cared for and mothered to a fare thee well.

It is very chilly tonight, with a full moon shining as bright as day out there...tomorrow~or rather, today~promises to be bright, clear and just the right temp at 77*. We will have our family reunion and plenty of great food and drinks. I'm hoping it all goes well and I'm praying that those in attendance will see Christ in me, and in doing so, want to follow Christ also.....I hope and pray that my family all turn to God and give their lives to Him so they can be free.

I wish there was a light switch one could simply turn on and they would then SEE the truth and want to live their lives filled with it, so that their lives would finally have meaning and a purpose other than to acquire things, stress over worldly things and then dying.

I hope you all have a wonderful day tomorrow and may YOUR lives be filled with the joy and peace that only a heart filled with the light of the Holy Spirit can bring. May your footsteps be blessed as you move through your day and may your smiles always reach your eyes.

I hope there union is turning out great. Have fun

 

[lazy gardener]

TomtomMom: Your honesty and openness is admirable. I think we all see a bit of ourselves in your story. I especially can relate. I think we all have social masks that we wear. It's only when we take them off, and show our true selves, including our anxieties, fears and insecurities that real friendship and empathy can begin. I praise you and admire you!

 

[Loc20chick]

It's a beautiful day out here, The sun is out its a bit breezy making it just the right temp to be on the porch.
So I let my ducks out in the yard to free range now that they know their pen is home, unfortunately as soon as I move away they head straight for the veggie garden. I tried hearding them to the side with a big pond but noooooo!!! all they want is my lettuce and spinach and the squash leaves..ugh!!! had to lock them up again in the run after about 40minutes of trying.. and the way I was waiting to enjoy duck TV from my porch... this is my view of the pond from the side porch



and the porch



no decorations yet...wish I was good with pot plats, any ideas to make it appealing are welcome. I hope you all have a great and blessed day today.

 

[LeslieDJoyce]

x

Rebekah (my 21 y/o with the now 7 year old 24x7 migraine based headache has been on every drug they could come up with that would be prophylactic and they all either had bad side effects, were effective for a short period or were not effective at all. Then biofeedback, acpuncture and the last was Botox injections in her head. Those hurt like the dickens the first time, her scalp stung for days. She even let them do it a second time when the first didn't work because sometimes it takes a couple of rounds. No good. Now she has Relpax and if she gets triggered with one of the "on top of the migraine" migraines it can be stopped if she hits the Relpax ASAP but nothing has been found to keep them from being triggered.



Mine are MSG, nitrates/nitrites (meaning no cured meats!), artificial sweeteners (think aspertame, sorbital, etc etc), man made fragrances, Purell, cigarette smoke, any number of foods including citrus.

Rebekah doesn't have the food triggers other than the artificial sweeteners (even people chewing gum with them near her can set her off) but fragrances, cigarette smoke, loud noises, weather pressure changes, light and lots of other stuff can do her in. We both have charcoal masks to wear to protect us from other people who "smell good". Had to wear them on the 2.5 hour flight from Burlington to Chicago since the lady in front of me slapped something on (might have been lotion, I didn't see it) just after we took off. I can usually go without the mask, I can hold my breath and get away if I get a whiff then my head twinges (makes going down the cleaning and laundry aisle of the store impossible). Rebekah's head is gone as soon as she smells it so she always has her mask on out in the "world" unless we can tell her it is safe.


Sadly someone (me

) forgot to bring the gluten free crackers Rebekah brought so she had to eat hers plain. Leslie had some great sourdough bread for the rest of us.

Thanks Leslie, we all love you! Such a nice person. You all are lucky to have her on Bee's porch.

Bruce

I had a blast with you guys! I really appreciate you devoting some of your family vacation time to stopping by and sharing food. I feel very honored. I love you guys, too. And I love getting good hugs.

I realized after you left I should have sent some of the whipped cream home with you & your strawberries ...

I don't know how you all do airports. The duty free zones are hard to avoid and usually very fragrant. I alway step on planes feeling nauseous. And there are always other people on the planes. They're a hazard.

 

[Tomtommom]

Tomtommom I am exactly the same way. I used to cross the street if I saw someone my own age from school coming the opposite direction.... In fear that they would talk to me or taunt me.

I did the research originally on Aspberghers because I have a great deal of those qualities. But I also am able to express and feel emotions very deeply. I grew up in a benign but very alcoholic family. many of those abilities to read facial expressions and Obsess about having offended people comes from not being able to correctly read my own family... To see if I had done something wrong. The best thing they could have done for me is encourage my main obsession for horses.

That got me out of my house out of my shell and in amongst people with similar interests. My dad would drink about two or three double Bourbons at lunch time... then beer at home. Mom had House wifes disease the term now would be social anxiety or Agoraphobia she never left the house except if my dad drove. I also was never was able to bring friends over for sleep overs or have parties.

When I moved out on my own at the ripe old age of 25 mom was very angry with me over it. She threw away my metal sculptures I had done in Art class. Were talking things that were over six feet tall. Told me she had planned on committing suicide if I ever left her. By this time I realized some of this stuff was a way to manipulate me... As she has manipulated everyone around her for ever. she did me a favor.... I love my mom but I needed to have a life of my own.

This kind of background is paralyzing for work. But I learned every nuance is not something readable or necessisarily something intended for me. it took me ten years to learn to stop obsessing... The better I got at it the better work went...

So... Life is a Process of Learning... I am back to Square one now taking care of Grandma.... Mom is next... Sigh.

deb

Sounds like my life. I don't care to put a stamp on it, it's too dang complicated.

But yeah, my mom was just like that. She wouldn't say it straight to your face 99% of the time though, but guilt trip you instead. I moved out when I was 22, my oldest brother was mad that I would just leave my mom like that.

I avoided people my age because they were cruel. I got bullied a lot.. by complete strangers.. I've been hit and kicked and called a dog and a pig by folks my age, just riding my bike home from school, because they didn't like the way I looked. My mom's friends made fun of me. Noone would hire me because I was fat and awkward and ugly and didn't fit in. So I didn't imagine it, so it's not just an internal self-doubt, it was reality. That's what makes it hard.

But you try to find ways to cope.. find love in the wrong places (be it in the bottom of a bottle or with people who just want to abuse). I've tried to quit life as a teen and overdosed on medication. I freaked out and got help in time.. but it changed me in a lot of ways. I learned not to care AT ALL. I ended up in the US eventually and honestly it was the best thing to ever have happened to me. It was a fresh start. I mean, it didn't make things perfect, but it gave me room to find myself. It took me 10 years, but I did find myself. I am happy 95% of the time and I can look at myself in the mirror and be ok with what I see.

I want to tell people, so they understand me... I desperately want others to understand so maybe I will understand, if that makes sense. Guess I hope someone reads it and goes "Oh, I have the answer, drink this magic potion and all will be normal"

I have 2 boys diagnosed with ADHD. One is 19 one is 17.
The 19 yr.old (Luke) sounds a lot like Tomtommom's step son in some ways. As a young child he would talk to everyone. As a 3 yr old he would strike up a conversation at Walmart with the biggest toughest burliest looking guy he could find. And he would not give up until they responded to him. He is Very smart, but was very difficult to handle. High High energy, needed a total of 6 hours of sleep a day. The rest of the day he just bounced off all the walls, fall, hurt himself and never even notice. Very oppositional. Spent a lot of time and money on therapy and meds. over the years. My Luke stories would fill a book. I love him soooo much and he has a wonderful heart, but he is the one who has caused me the most pain in my life.
Jeremiah is 17. He was just the opposite, he lives very much in his head. He can recite whole movie scenes word for word, but for the life of him can't remember to eat, or get to work on time. I think he is a little Aspergers also. Most parents are complaining there kid is gone all the time, I'm always trying to get him to go out with friends. Jeremiah sees things very black and white and can not tolerate anything that is not fair. He still breaks into tears when something isn't fair which is not cool for a 17 year old boy to do in public. In 6th grade he spent all day in the principles office hiding from other kids. Even on meds it takes him forever to get his homework done.
We did put both the boys in a WONDERFUL charter school. Jeremiah was a freshmen and Luke was a Junior. Luke decided to go off his meds. that year, he became very defiant and did not do 1 assignment for a whole semester. long story short he went back to the public school because there was no way he would be able to graduate from the charter school. The public school had much more lenient graduation requirements.
Jeremiah on the other hand did fabulous at the charter school. Matured greatly, still has a lot of difficulty with ADHD but has a better understanding of what it is going to take for him to become successful. Unfortunately the school board shut the charter school down. Jeremiah is now attending an online high school from home.
I can relate to a lot of what tomtommom says. Been there, done that, and still doing it.

It's sad how many 'misfits' have such a hard time in the world. You'd think with so many of us, it would be easier. Trouble is, the 'normal' ones make it to the top and become the people that make the rules.

It is very chilly tonight, with a full moon shining as bright as day out there...tomorrow~or rather, today~promises to be bright, clear and just the right temp at 77*. We will have our family reunion and plenty of great food and drinks. I'm hoping it all goes well and I'm praying that those in attendance will see Christ in me, and in doing so, want to follow Christ also.....I hope and pray that my family all turn to God and give their lives to Him so they can be free.

I wish there was a light switch one could simply turn on and they would then SEE the truth and want to live their lives filled with it, so that their lives would finally have meaning and a purpose other than to acquire things, stress over worldly things and then dying.

I hope you all have a wonderful day tomorrow and may YOUR lives be filled with the joy and peace that only a heart filled with the light of the Holy Spirit can bring. May your footsteps be blessed as you move through your day and may your smiles always reach your eyes.

Thank you, Bee. I hope so too.

I know I am on the right path.. it'll just take some time. Trust, truth and faith are closely tied together, I am regaining my trust these days. The other two will follow I am sure.

I need to be mindful to be true to myself and not claim to have faith just so I have something to hang onto. Not easy, but I have felt moments of clarity. I've got good people around me.

Well I tried to catch up on posts but felt if I didnt post what I was thinking now by the time I did get to the end I would forget what I wanted to say. For those looking into alternative education check out www.connectionsacademy.com its a home school program but heres the best part. They send you a computer and printer, if you cant afford internet they assist there too. Its FREE, every state has a local chapter and its easy to join. All the courses are online and they send you all the materials. Teachers are online. Most grades are immediate and you only need to test for CSAP per state guidelines. I used this program for 2 yrs with my kids before we moved here. Check them out, most kids I know dont fit in regular classrooms and after Columbine shooting and almost daily reports of creeps trying to abduct kids walking toschool I had enough. My daughters husbands brother was listed adhd and most of my kids were having trouble in school but programs like this were the best solution. I hope someday to get programs like this here in Libya one day. Many areas the schools are horrible, teachers worse and learning is read/rote style. No individualism or creativity. Its free because of freedom of education act and really worth looking into.
otherwise I had a wedding and a funeral this week on top of sudden severe pain in my hip at lower back. Went to clinic and saw doctor, got an injection and was told couch potato for 4 days unless it worsens. I got a dull ache today. And im beginning to think I have 13 roos! Two more started crowing! Penguin and Uno and both NNs have joined Equinox. Next time I buy chicks wont be from market. But I got a lovely bunch of guys. Also when I take out my FF three like to jump into the bucket and start eating! I pull them out and laugh. They pic the juicy bits off each other.

Thank you for that. I will check it out!

Good luck with your hip and your roosters, I can only imagine the symphony!

Jesus taught love and tolerance. He also challenged the views I others. I will love my porch neighbors and not judge. You have free will and I respect your decisions I just have to ask myself WWJD?

Jesus would grab a bucket and a lemonade and join our gathering on the Porch! I think he would be pretty pleased with our little group.

TomtomMom: Your honesty and openness is admirable. I think we all see a bit of ourselves in your story. I especially can relate. I think we all have social masks that we wear. It's only when we take them off, and show our true selves, including our anxieties, fears and insecurities that real friendship and empathy can begin. I praise you and admire you!

I was a manager for several years.. if you can believe that. During my years of being married to my ex-husband I was a different person... people called me by my middle name and I was tough and fierce and confident.. but I was not me. Eventually it all spun out of control. I was doing things I shouldn't do.. I met my husband during on of the last times I was my 'persona'. When I met him it was love at first sight... he was put in a situation by his wife he was not comfortable with and right then, I felt the same... And she realized it too I think.. realized she really screwed up with her lies and playing with people and it was about to really backfire.

Anyway.

He found the real me, the person I was long ago. The person that had gotten hurt so many times that I became someone else. He figured it out.. realized there were two of me. In times of stress I'd become my alternate self, but with it would come irresponsible behavior. It's when we decided I should quit my job, because being a manager brought that out of me and I couldn't handle the job without the mask.... The last week before I quit my boss had me in tears several times... so I couldn't do the work without being someone else. I have become a lot more vulnerable now I can't hide behind the mask.

It's a really complicated story as how he came into my life, but I swear he saved me. And I saved him.

Not saying things are EASY now, but atleast they're real and it doesn't feel like I am watching someone else living my life.

I just really have to watch myself and stay honest.. stay real. It makes it harder to fake having social skills

That's ok, I rather deal with the anxiety of 'OMG they must think I'm weird' than people liking me because I am a good actress.

OH!

In college, I got kicked out... yeah, my mentor didn't like me much and gave me a negative review and the school told me to quit. I quote their advice: "You're not really suited to be a teacher, but I hear you do great in drama class. You should be an actress!" ..... YEAH, I am going to follow this super great advice, it'll surely pay off and get me a job. Wait... WHAT?

I dropped out right then and there. Ofcourse a week later they're like "Oh, well, you didn't have to quit. I mean... we reviewed everything and you're ok, your second mentor said you're fine" By then I had already missed the finals. So.. yeah.

I aspire to grow up and be an awesome hippy dippy happy in their own skin WEIRD old lady who knows all sorts of weird home remedies, doesn't fit into society one bit and doesn't give a hoot. Someone who is kind, well liked by those who matter, someone who you can depend on when your life is falling to bits to have a pint of icecream and some sage advice.

Something like the weird monkey in the Lion King (Rafiki?) and a bit of Bee and her mom... Some Blooie... Some Deb... a little of all of y'all... And ofcourse me.

 

[Tomtommom]

I missed Blooie's post! I thought I quoted it.

In management books they tell you to look at someones forehead! Eye contact is hard. I can't do it either..."

I totally love having my kids with me, so I can look at them instead

And they're a great excuse "I had lots of fun, but, these guys really need a nap now"