The NFC B-Day Chat Thread

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Teila said:
:fl Me too!

09:20AM and already it is 81.5F with a relative humidity of 96% :sick

You have all probably seen this but sharing just in case you have not .. it is a classic, very funny and pretty well sums up how I feel right now :lau [Obviously, temps are in celcius and I had to do some censoring ;)]

DIARY OF A POMMIE IN WESTERN AUSTRALIA

August 31 - Just got transferred with work from Leeds UK
to our new home in Karratha, Western Australia .
Now this is a town that knows how to live!
Beautiful, sunny days and warm, balmy evenings.
I watched the sunset from a deckchair by our pool yesterday.
It was beautiful. I've finally found my new home. I love it here.

September 13 - Really heating up now. It got to 31 today. No problem
though. Living in air-conditioned home, driving air-conditioned car.
What a pleasure to see the sun every day like this. I'm turning into a
sun-worshipper – no blasted rain like back in Leeds!!

September 30 - Had the back yard landscaped with tropical plants
today. Lots of palms and rocks. No more mowing lawns for me! Another
scorcher today, but I love it here. It’s Paradise!

October 10 - The temperature hasn't been below 35 all week. How do
people get used to this kind of heat? At least today it's windy though.
Keeps the flies off a bit. Acclimatizing is taking longer than we expected.

October 15 - Fell asleep by the pool yesterday. Got third degree burns
over 60% of my body. Missed three days off work. What a dumb thing
to do. Got to respect the old sun in a climate like this!

October 20 - Didn't notice Kitty (our cat) sneaking into the car before I
left for work this morning. By the time I got back to the car after work,
Kitty had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stuck
to the upholstery. The car now smells like Whiskettes and cat shit. I've
learned my lesson though: no more pets in this heat.

October 25 - This wind is a [censored]. It feels like a giant [censored] blow
dryer. And it's hot as [censored]! The home air conditioner is on the blink
and the repair man charged $200 just to drive over and tell me he needs
to order parts from [censored] Perth ....The wife & the kids are complaining.

October 30 - The temperature's up around 40 and the parts still haven't
arrived for the [censored] air conditioner. House is an oven so we’ve all been
sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now. [censored] $600,000 house
and we can't even go inside. Why the [censored] did I ever come here?

November 4 - Finally got the [censored] air-conditioner fixed. It cost $1,500 and
gets the temperature down to around 25 degrees, but the humidity makes it
feel about 35. Stupid repairman. [censored] thief.

November 8 - If one more smart [censored] says 'Hot enough for you today?' I'm
going to [censored] throttle him. [censored] heat! By the time I get to work, the car
radiator is boiling over, my [censored] clothes are soaking [censored] wet and I
smell like baked cat. [censored] place is the end of the Earth.

November 9 - Tried to run some errands after work, wore shorts, and sat on the
black leather upholstery in my car. I thought my [censored] butt was on fire. I lost 2
layers of flesh, all the hair on the backs of my legs and off my [censored] butt. Now
the car smells like burnt hair, fried butt and baked cat. [censored] [censored] [censored]

November 10 -– The Weather report might as well be a [censored] recording.
Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny, Hot and [censored] sunny. It never [censored] changes!
It's been too hot to do anything for 2 [censored] months and the weatherman says it
might really warm up next week. [censored]!

November 15 - Doesn't it ever rain in this damn [censored] place? Water restrictions
will be next, so my $5,000 worth of palms might just dry up and blow into the [censored] pool. The only things that thrive in this [censored] [censored]-hole are the [censored] flies. You don't dare open your mouth for fear of swallowing half a dozen of the little [censored]!

November 20 - Welcome to [censored]! It got to 45 [censored] degrees today. Now the air conditioner's gone in my car. The repair man came to fix it and said, 'Hot enough for you today?' I wanted to shove the [censored] car up his [censored]. Anyway, had to spend the $2,500 mortgage payment to bail me out of jail for assaulting the stupid idiot. [censored] Karratha! What kind of sick, demented [censored] idiot would want to live here!

December 1 - WHAT!!!! The FIRST day of Summer!!!! You are [censored] kidding me!
Click to expand...

Hilarious! :lau
 

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