The NFC B-Day Chat Thread

[Blooie]

She's got a lovely voice, @Blooie .

I think so too. She gets a little "Joplin" from time to time, but she seemed to be able to project what it's like to live with a serious mental illness. Some of the happiest times I've known with her were when it was just the two of us, our guitars, and an old cassette tape recorder. I wish I had those tapes today, but she was the one who recorded them so she has them, and I doubt she'd ever copy them for me. In fact, in the message that came with the link she thanked me for teaching her to play. For a couple of years we played and sang together at some of the clubs around town. That was fun, especially knowing that it was some level we could actually communicate on. Shoot, she took what I taught her and then went beyond what I ever could have imagined for her. I miss my daughter, but I don't miss the stress. Sounds terrible, but that's the fact of it all.

Thank you for this

I hope it helps. I've got you and Deb on my mind heavily today.

 

[bruceha2000]

I actually just heard from Jae about a week ago and it sounded like all is well. I think she had said they found a house they liked but not sure what happened with that. I will message her again to find out and tell her she is missed on here.

Please do tell her we think about her often and would be if she could come back and visit from time to time.

Probably inappropriate but Ken, Tam, and I were talking about her handling things for us when our time comes. She said, “You’re not gonna die, Ma. Just about the time you’re close, Evan or Katie or Kendra will need you and you’ll cancel those plans to take care of them.”

Curses, foiled again! Guess you have to live another 50 years at least!

Hi all

Hmmm, your niece has changed quite a bit

I think this song is on her CD.

She's very talented. I for her knowing the history that went into the song.

 

[ShrekDawg]

Please do tell her we think about her often and would be if she could come back and visit from time to time.


Curses, foiled again! Guess you have to live another 50 years at least!


Hmmm, your niece has changed quite a bit


She's very talented. I for her knowing the history that went into the song.

Will do!! Hopefully she comes back soon and hopefully the house search is going well.

 

[igorsMistress]

Please do tell her we think about her often and would be if she could come back and visit from time to time.


Curses, foiled again! Guess you have to live another 50 years at least!


Hmmm, your niece has changed quite a bit


She's very talented. I for her knowing the history that went into the song.

Steroids

By the way, that other pic was my granddaughter I'm way too old for a niece that young but thank you, I think I love you.

 

[ShrekDawg]

Now that I showed the chicks the roosts last night they were all hanging out on them today when I checked them earlier lol

 

[drumstick diva]

Wow, that knocks me out. Are her CD's available commercially?

 

[Blooie]

Blooie I'm without words, so sad.

I was too, and when I think about her life I sometimes start to really get down on myself. Ken was gone so much and I had to fill both roles for months by myself. Then he’d swoop back into their lives and take over as Dad. It had to be confusing for the kids, but she was especially fragile. I just didn’t know that at the time. And I wonder if I tried hard enough, if there was just that one more professional out there who could have made a real difference. I remember, when she was just a brand new infant, my family commenting that they’d never seen a baby who hated to be held or touched. Even her feedings were done with her bottle propped or she’d scream and choke on her formula. Teething, colds, and tummy aches were a nightmare - I couldn’t hold and comfort her. Then at around 18 months she did a complete turnaround - always giggling, affectionate, and sweet but still so independent. So maybe she didn’t bond with me when she was little. Was I firm enough? Too firm? She had no coping skills, but as the Mom I should have.

She was a normal, active, healthy and exceptionally musically gifted kid from that 18 month age until she was approaching her teens. “Oh, it’s normal adolescent adjustment disorder,” the experts would say. “Give her some time, but try this....or that.....” I didn’t know any better. They were the doctors so I relied on them for help. Maybe to this day it’s why I don’t do that with Katie and Kendra. I did it the pros’ way once and Terrin is still paying dearly for that - she always will. So now I’ll try something that is out of the girls’ therapists’ wheelhouse and never take their word as the end all, be all. I won’t excuse bad behavior, not even with Kendra. With Terri I let her get away with far more than I should have to avoid the horrible outbursts and total family disruptions.

Anyway, too much information, I know. She’s been out of my life off and on and I was hoping for a brief time of “on” when she asked me to listen to the song. Terri will never come out and say “I need you, Mom” and she shouldn’t have to. But her music says what she can’t. It was always that way.

I did my crying yesterday, Bruce. Now I have to go back to being hard-hearted. It’s the only self-protection skill I have left. How I wish her issue had been drugs or alcohol. There’s always hope for treatment there and a chance for a new life, if the person chooses to do the work. I think it’s obvious from her song that she’d take that chance and run with it, because she doesn’t want to be this way. Life gave her no other choice.

Okay. That’s enough. Talking about it won’t change it. I’ve got packing to do got our trip to South Dakota. Funny. I’ll be 20 miles away from her for 2 weeks. I asked Ken last night if he thought it would be a good idea to invite Terrin to lunch, just her and me - maybe find out what it was that I said this time that ended a visit before it even started. I couldn’t remember the last time he’s ever outright forbidden me to do something. But he did it last night. He said she chose her path and has to walk it. And that’s the most frustrating thing of all - I can’t get people to see that she didn’t CHOOSE this anymore than someone would choose to get cancer. She sees that at times. I see it all the time.

 

[rjohns39]

Blooie, just one last thought from me. I see both points of view and wont expand on that. All I have to offer is my heartfelt support and hugs

 

[Blooie]

I only know of one she did Diva, although there may be others. We don’t talk much. This particular CD (Reflections) was available commercially for quite awhile. Personally there were only 3 songs on it that I thought showcased her talent - this one and two instrumentals “Diane’s Lullaby” which I love and “Jamie’s Melody”, both written for the kids after Ken and I were awarded custody of them. The rest of the songs are so “Joplin” they are impossible to listen to because she’s trying to be what she isn’t. Give that girl a ballad and you won’t move a muscle while you listen. There are only 3 versions of “I Will Always Love You” worth the listen...the original by Dolly, Whitney Houston’s, and Terri’s. And I put the quote in the wrong spot. Sorry, Diva.

Wow, that knocks me out. Are her CD's available commercially?

 

[drumstick diva]

All I ever got from an animal hospital that made a fortune off of my show dogs, was a humongus bill. He said my dogs had to have "special care," since they were show dogs.