The Old Folks Home

[tnspursfan09]

I just hatched chicks from my buff orpington and leghorn roosters over buff orp, red sex link and leghorn hens. 23 little babies running around in their own coop and run.

 

[bamadude]

Hows that saying go? Good fences and a small speedo make for good neighbors

 

[Bunnylady]

Hows that saying go? Good fences and a small speedo make for good neighbors

Or at least some entertaining gossip.

 

[Latestarter]

I like to patrol my property partially nude shooting guns. My neighbors know im there when they need me...but they keep a pretty good distance. U would be surprised what nudity and a shotgun will do for a neighbor. Just saying

BTW, Happy belated birthday Dude.

 

[Pozees]

SCG I think Ron may be onto something. Perhaps you should contact the pastor/priest/rabbi/? at her place of worship and suggest she be offered help by clergy and parish members, as your schedule simply does not permit and you are concerned for her welfare. She does sound a bit overwhelmed and probably needs the support of like-minded people. You can let the person know you prefer your suggestion remain confidential.

If the neighbor asks (or tells) you again, you just tell her your schedule is not predictable, there has been some upheaval at work and you never know when you will be required to work longer hours or leave at a moment's notice. If she pushes, you can tell her you have no natural parenting skills and don't feel that being responsible for anyone's children would be in the children's best interest. If she still pushes, you can sincerely apologize and tell her you simply cannot help her with this, that you're happy to send over a dozen eggs when you have extras, pick up the mail, whatever things you are actually willing to do, but that child care is just not something you can offer.

You're in an uncomfortable situation but I think if you are sincere and try to secure her some attention from others she attends worship services with, you can avoid any unpleasantness and not get stuck babysitting. At least I hope so, for your sake.

 

[Latestarter]

I have an ethical question and am welcoming opinions....


....I'd appreciate your thoughts or opinions. I know most of you have kids, so I need a different perspective.

I have 3 kids, the oldest is adopted. I have had an additional 2 who were step kids for a period of time that I did not adopt. I would not even consider doing what your "neighbor" did, and would not have thought it possible that anyone would do such a thing in any case.

+

IMHO, you should be straight up and direct ASAP with her & put the kabosh on that idea of hers post haste! It was very rude, very UN-neighborly, and completely inconsiderate of her to do what she did. SHE is the one who CHOSE to have additional children. She is the one who now has to deal with that choice. If you don't, you are just opening the door to being taken advantage of. WOW...

 

[superchemicalgirl]

SCG I think Ron may be onto something. Perhaps you should contact the pastor/priest/rabbi/? at her place of worship and suggest she be offered help by clergy and parish members, as your schedule simply does not permit and you are concerned for her welfare. She does sound a bit overwhelmed and probably needs the support of like-minded people. You can let the person know you prefer your suggestion remain confidential.

If the neighbor asks (or tells) you again, you just tell her your schedule is not predictable, there has been some upheaval at work and you never know when you will be required to work longer hours or leave at a moment's notice. If she pushes, you can tell her you have no natural parenting skills and don't feel that being responsible for anyone's children would be in the children's best interest. If she still pushes, you can sincerely apologize and tell her you simply cannot help her with this, that you're happy to send over a dozen eggs when you have extras, pick up the mail, whatever things you are actually willing to do, but that child care is just not something you can offer.

You're in an uncomfortable situation but I think if you are sincere and try to secure her some attention from others she attends worship services with, you can avoid any unpleasantness and not get stuck babysitting. At least I hope so, for your sake.

Thank you guys for the support and great answers. I like the defend and deflect position while offering up things I would be willing to do (which isn't a lot and does not include watching videos with her other kids which is part of what she suggested earlier because I have no parenting skills).

I was hoping the right answer wasn't suck it up and watch her kids for her.

 

[ozexpat]

I would wait.

If you say anything now, you will cause ill will.

If she asks for help, tell her then. you have many months til you need to cause ill will and you never know what will happen in between - like alternatives

 

[drumstick diva]

SCG I know you are truly busy so you can't emulate my behavior but, I deal(not deal) with stuff like that by, closing the drapes, pulling down the shades, not answering phone or doorbell (had it ripped out) and being a hermit.

I love my son, and I love smiling at little babies and young toddlers that can't help being adorable. But that's as far as it goes. Kids know I am uncomfortable with them and they do all they can to scramble my brains.

I do think it's a lot of gall for the woman to even ask that of you.

 

[Cynthia12]

Thank you guys for the support and great answers. I like the defend and deflect position while offering up things I would be willing to do (which isn't a lot and does not include watching videos with her other kids which is part of what she suggested earlier because I have no parenting skills).

I was hoping the right answer wasn't suck it up and watch her kids for her.

This is easy. Just say...no! Well, maybe a ... No Thanks, with your cute little smile. I'm with oz..wait a bit, see what happens. When/if she brings it up again, remind her how busy your life is. I can't believe she asked this of you. I like kids, but I can't do too much watching them now..and I don't have a problem saying ..sorry, can't do it right from the get go. Either you were being a sweetheart, and didn't say anything, or she left you with you mouth still dropped to the floor when she was done talking. Very interesting lady.