The Old Folks Home

[Bunnylady]

I have some really confused chickens in my flock, now. Several of the hens ran for cover as soon as they slipped out of the coop this morning and are now peeking out to see why the roos are not chasing them. Darty, the alpha roo is carrying on with his duties but keeps looking around like, "Where are they?" There were about three loosely formed flocks that foraged together, but now they are all staying together in one huge group. The other roo that I kept (a beautiful BCM) is the most confused of all. I have never seen him wing drag or tidbit a hen. All he ever did was jump on the hens that one of the other roos pinned down. He will have alot to learn. I hope soon he will collect a few hens of his own and the two groups can live peacefully.

This reminded me of a story a friend told me many years ago. Her family had a mixed flock of maybe a dozen hens and one rooster. One of the hens went broody, and they figured, what the hey, let her hatch 'em. She wound up hatching something like 18 eggs, and every flippin' one of them turned out to be a rooster! When they matured, the farmyard became a madhouse. Fights everywhere, noisy as all get out, egg production dropped because the hens were being run ragged, and the original rooster was in hiding because all of his sons were bigger than he was and beat him up every chance they got. Finally, my friend's father had all the chaos he could stand, and one day, he got out his hatchet. He processed every single one of those roo's except for the original one. For days, the remaining rooster skulked around the barnyard making soft, henlike clucking sounds. My friend swore it was a week before he got up the nerve to crow again (she thought he was afraid he'd wind up in the stewpot like the others)

 

[Arielle]

Quote: Oh this is wonderful! 4 inches deep, too!! My yard is fenced to, for the dogs, so beware any chicken that enters . . . . .actually ai put up a little chicken wire to hep them stay out. Eventually they get too side to fit thru the picket fence. THis bird bath will look wonderful in your back yard!


I NEED something to look forward to!! LOL I need to get my sheep on the plot for next spring--they are great for cleaning up everything!! ( Except the tomato vines--poison.)

 

[Arielle]

All the Golden stories made me smile. I've never owned one (all of my dogs have been abandoned crossbreds) but I have known a few. One of my favorite "dog friends" was a Golden named Daisy that belonged to one of our landscaping customers. I think she thought we came just to play with her; I always tried to make a little time to play fetch after the work was done. She loved to have me throw the ball, and loved to run after it, but she never wanted to give the ball back. I'd try to get it, and she'd run away. The only way I could get the ball from her was to ignore her, then she'd bump my hand with the ball, "come on, try to take it away from me." Eventually she'd stay in contact just long enough, and I'd be able to grab the ball to throw it again.

Daisy was a very talented and persistent thief - we had to keep our tools within view whenever working there, because the moment a back was turned, she'd steal anything she could get her mouth on. One day when I showed up, there were large yellow feathers all over the back yard. For a moment, I was afraid Daisy had murdered Big Bird, but it turned out she'd just shredded a feather duster.

 

[Arielle]

Quote:

 

[wolftracks]

I so enjoyed reading about your current garden, chickens and dog stories. I can commiserate with you about losing your husband and doing things alone. This past November it has been 10 years since I lost mine. It not as thought I pine away and don't get on with my life but it just takes so dang long to get anything done. I constantly wonder in amazement how much I used to get done in a day. Last year I built a new house on 10 heavily wooded acres (okay, had it built) and considered that my memorial garden to my husband, he would have loved it. He was raised in the sands of West Texas and dreamed constantly of having many large trees. Now he would have had them. Unfortunately the drought that Texas suffered in 2011 is taking a heavy toll on what I have. I'm just afraid to even consider how bad it's going to get in the next year or two. When I bought the land, you couldn't see through the trees in any direction for more than 100ft. Looking now, being winter and all, I wonder just how many more trees will never leaf out again or crash to the ground next spring from the weight of the new leaves.

I had a small garden last year and it's much different than gardening in the humid area I came from but that I will adjust to this year. I'd like to try those things that are hooped and made out of fencing, then covered with some kind of fabric so I can get started a bit earlier this year since it gets sooo hot here so quickly when spring comes. My son who lives next door (600 ft away) has just finished a humongous greenhouse and I'm looking forward to starting seedings in there in January. All he's got left to do is install the ventilation system (haha, how important is that!!!) But I'm really excited about growing things in a greenhouse. They're going to try hydroponics and eventually aquaponics. I think I'll stick to dirt.

I turned my chickens loose in my garden and they have removed anything and everything from there. Think I'll dump a lot of oak leaves in there and let then scratch it all up. Otherwise, I don't think those oak leaves will ever compost. I know zip zero nada about chickens but it's an interesting thing I've gotten for myself because they are so dependent on their owner/operators for everything. They are allowed to free range though I think I waited too long for them to learn to forage. Unfortunately the big fat squirrel that lives behind the chicken pen goes in and chases the chickens out and then "he" eats the chicken feed. So I remove the feed every day. They do scratch a lot during the day to keep themselves busy but they're really just waiting for the sun to go down so I'll bring supper! Bah!

This reminded me of a story a friend told me many years ago. Her family had a mixed flock of maybe a dozen hens and one rooster. One of the hens went broody, and they figured, what the hey, let her hatch 'em. She wound up hatching something like 18 eggs, and every flippin' one of them turned out to be a rooster! When they matured, the farmyard became a madhouse. Fights everywhere, noisy as all get out, egg production dropped because the hens were being run ragged, and the original rooster was in hiding because all of his sons were bigger than he was and beat him up every chance they got. Finally, my friend's father had all the chaos he could stand, and one day, he got out his hatchet. He processed every single one of those roo's except for the original one. For days, the remaining rooster skulked around the barnyard making soft, henlike clucking sounds. My friend swore it was a week before he got up the nerve to crow again (she thought he was afraid he'd wind up in the stewpot like the others)

This is sooooo funny!!!

 

[Arielle]

Wolftracks-- in my family we often talk about those that have passed on, how else will the younger generation know about them and honestly I like reminnicing because I am old enough to have known some of the older relatives.

My great Aunt just passed away a couple weeks ago-- at 105. That of course caused family to congregate at the Funeral Home. Most I had not seen since her 100th birthday party. I found out 7 BIddies went to a grammar school back in the '50's on the same site; it was torn down to put in the funeral home. THen I found out at the cousin's Christmas Party ( the decendents of my grandmothers sister) that the original funeral home was torn down to make way for the new highway. THat was new info to me. I knew my grandfather's church had been torn down, and the stained glass made into Christmas ornaments, which I still have, then he started going to his wives church. I still have their BIbles and I was showing them to my kids just the other day.

So keep telling your stories.One story leads to another. ANd yes chicken make life easier.

 

[KnobbyOaks]

I'm sorry you relate to the doing things alone. Teen years. I don't know if I'll make it to that point. I have better days, but still a lot of bad ones. One more person tells me I need to move on though and I'm gonna move on their face! It's not that I'm not moving on, but I refuse to let him completely vanish or be forgotten. I think that's one of the worse parts. I need to talk about him to people that know him and no one talks about him. That's fine though, cause as l;ong as I'm alive, I'm keeping him alive.

You'll make it and it happens one day at a time. I had only one person tell me I needed to move on and I was so surprised by who it was that said it. It was one of my husband's good friends. I have been prepared since then for the next person who said it to me and I think it pretty much involves their face.

But it hasn't happened.

And I too want to talk about him because to deny it to me is to deny his life and our life together. My older son never and I mean never brings him up but that doesn't deter me. He and I have long car trips together and I enjoy talking to someone else who shares the same memories. I think he does too. My younger son brings him up all the time, if the conversation suits. I really think people are trying to be considerate and not bring them up, waiting for you to take the lead, even my parents wouldn't bring him up. When my dad died 4 years ago, my mother never instigated the conversation about my dad or their life together and they were married for 68 years. Guess we all handle things differently.

Good luck on your garden and the livestock and keep us informed of the progress. You have a home whether you own the house or not.

 

[Wisher1000]

Quote:
Wolfie,

Go to the people that were closest to the two of you and tell them this. They don't talk about him because they don't want to upset you. They are likely thinking about him whenever they are with you and are trying to steer the conversation toward something, anything, else so that you will not be sad. TELL THEM you need to talk about him!

I had the same problem (from the other view) when my nephew died. I wanted to talk about him to my sister (his mother) but couldn't bear to see her tear up. I couldn't mention him, I couldn't say dead or make any offhanded reference to death around her for years for fear of reminding her of him and risk bringing the pain back to the surface. I imagine she didn't talk about him because she knew it made people around her uncomfortable. I wish (there I go again) she had said "I need to talk about him" to us so that we would have been aware that that would help. If I had known that the talking would bring tears, and the tears would bring relief, I would have gladly talked about him and understood that the tears were not caused by me but the result of being able to break through the numbness and begin to feel and to heal.

There is so little that people can say or do to help when a loved one is lost and it seems that by trying to take your mind off of him, in an effort to help, the silence is only hurting you more. That is not the intention, it is a lack of a better method.

 

[Arielle]

I remember when a good friend lost her husband--she is young with two young children--and how people were pressing her to date again. SHe was surprised and hurt that that person didn't get it. She was still trying to adjust to running a household all by herself with two small children to raise. I was happy to be her listening ear. SHe eventually bought a lovely granite bench as a memorial to her husband complete with a motorcycle etched as well as the usual dates. SHe placed it near the second driveway, the one that goes to his huge truck shop. I love that her children will have tangible reminders of their dad and we talk openly in front of the kids about BOb so they will remember him. SHe has never remarried and I don't expect that she will. She can run things just fine, too. SHe reminds me of both of you. Plenty to do, too much to do. Guess that reminds me of me too! lol

 

[Wisher1000]

Knobby (and Wolfie) -- When someone says that you need to move on, it is their way of saying "please don't let your grief keep you from living." It is not a suggestion that you forget or put them away, it is out of a fear that you will pine away and that they will lose you. Again, just talk to them and let them know that you are still missing the one that died, but that you intend to get back to the business of living very soon. Then when you do manage some of the normal everyday things you used to do (like getting out of bed before noon, actually getting dressed, going to the grocery, meeting friends for lunch, or working in your garden) make sure others know you are doing these things and not spiraling into a blue funk that will never turn you loose.

They want to know that they don't need to worry that you will hurt yourself. Again, it is so hard to know what to do when faced with a friend or relative that has lost the love of their life. We can't help the one who is dead and don't know how to help the one left behind. Try to remember that it is based in caring and, however misguided, is an attempt to help.


<Ring Ring>
Widow - "Hello?"
Friend - "Hi! How are you"
Widow - "I'm fine."
Friend - "No, really, how ARE you?"
Widow - "Still sad, I miss him terribly, but I'm getting by."
Friend - "What have you been doing?"
Widow - "Nothing"
Friend - "Nothing?"
Widow - "Well, yesterday ... let's see ... I ate a Pop Tart, took a shower, put on some sweat pants and went to the mailbox."
Friend - "REALLY! That is FANTASTIC! Oh, I'm so glad that you are doing better! I have been so worried. We need to go to lunch one day soon, or to a movie!"