The Old Folks Home

[Wisher1000]

Strange double post -

 

[Arielle]

Strange double post -

Because it was worth repeating.

 

[wolftracks]

Knobby (and Wolfie) -- When someone says that you need to move on, it is their way of saying "please don't let your grief keep you from living." It is not a suggestion that you forget or put them away, it is out of a fear that you will pine away and that they will lose you. Again, just talk to them and let them know that you are still missing the one that died, but that you intend to get back to the business of living very soon. Then when you do manage some of the normal everyday things you used to do (like getting out of bed before noon, actually getting dressed, going to the grocery, meeting friends for lunch, or working in your garden) make sure others know you are doing these things and not spiraling into a blue funk that will never turn you loose.

They want to know that they don't need to worry that you will hurt yourself. Again, it is so hard to know what to do when faced with a friend or relative that has lost the love of their life. We can't help the one who is dead and don't know how to help the one left behind. Try to remember that it is based in caring and, however misguided, is an attempt to help.


<Ring Ring>
Widow - "Hello?"
Friend - "Hi! How are you"
Widow - "I'm fine."
Friend - "No, really, how ARE you?"
Widow - "Still sad, I miss him terribly, but I'm getting by."
Friend - "What have you been doing?"
Widow - "Nothing"
Friend - "Nothing?"
Widow - "Well, yesterday ... let's see ... I ate a Pop Tart, took a shower, put on some sweat pants and went to the mailbox."
Friend - "REALLY! That is FANTASTIC! Oh, I'm so glad that you are doing better! I have been so worried. We need to go to lunch one day soon, or to a movie!"

WOW! She took a shower??? That is doing better......LOL I talk to a lot of widows online. Way back in the beginning for many of us, we'd mention showering or NOT shower, brushing hair or teeth, shaving! We made eachother laugh by seeing who was most disgusting. LOL Life really does take on a whole new meaning when you grieve. I still need to lose all the weight I gained when I started feeling better after a chocolate binge. I lost weight in the beginning. I now really hate pizza. Didn't like it much for a few years, but when you can't bring yourself to cook and kids are in the house, pizza works.

My move ons have been very harsh. Some people get it but most don't. I'd never wish losing a spouse on anyone, but they have no idea till it happens. Just like losing a child, which I've had happen. I was a real mess by the time Bill died. He was helping me get through lossing my mom and dad. I lost all of them over a 52 day period. Felt like the whole world had ended. I'm a LOT better now, but since I have other issues that no one was aware of before, they think everything stems from losing Bill. That was just the straw that broke the camel's back.

It's New Years Eve......Holidays are the worse. Birthdays are bad and I have such a big family there's always a birthday. What was I thinking when I wanted 12 kids??? I have 6 and Bill 4, so I got darn close. But I have things I want to happen in the new year. Things other people may not see or if they do, understand, but some of the old me is coming back.

Happy New Year everyone, and thanks for all the responses. It's nice to feel like someone hears you.

 

[Stumpy]

wolftracks, I hope you have a wonderful new year!

 

[wolftracks]

Thank you, you too!

OK, now who needs a new puppy. They are crate trained and housebroken now!!!!! And cute!

 

[Cynthia12]

 

[dsqard]

Happy New Year everyone! Took me a while to catch up. I have been "neglecting" the computer for the last couple of days.

For everyone who said a little prayer for my shelties, it worked! Thank you so much for the kind thoughts and words. Laddie is back to his old self and I had the lump on his side checked out when we were at the vet's office on Friday. Nothing but a fat deposit! (months of worrying, should have gotten the courage up to have it checked long ago) Skip has taken a little longer to get on the mend but with his heart condition I am not totally surprised about that. He actually ate a good amount yesterday. I got some canned food to try to get him to eat and he finally ate some. He is on three medications for his heart but it seems to be helping. We may not get another year with him, but at least he is feeling much better. Sydney (the new puppy) has decided his favorite toy is the older dogs and tries to get them to play with him. Laddie just stands there looking at me while the puppy is jumping on him with a look on his face that says "could you please do something about this?" Blondie will just growl at him and Sid will back up. Skip just runs away. Pretty funny to watch the dynamics between the old dogs and the puppy. We took Sid out to the barn yesterday for the first time. He was so scared of all the new stuff. I am hoping that I can train him to be my barn buddy as he grows.
OK keeping all my fingers and toes

for SCG and me today! We entered the lottery to see if we could win a chance at day passes to the Wave in April. Sooooooooooooooo hoping one of our entries gets picked!

 

[ronott1]

Happy New Year everyone! Took me a while to catch up. I have been "neglecting" the computer for the last couple of days.

For everyone who said a little prayer for my shelties, it worked! Thank you so much for the kind thoughts and words. Laddie is back to his old self and I had the lump on his side checked out when we were at the vet's office on Friday. Nothing but a fat deposit! (months of worrying, should have gotten the courage up to have it checked long ago) Skip has taken a little longer to get on the mend but with his heart condition I am not totally surprised about that. He actually ate a good amount yesterday. I got some canned food to try to get him to eat and he finally ate some. He is on three medications for his heart but it seems to be helping. We may not get another year with him, but at least he is feeling much better. Sydney (the new puppy) has decided his favorite toy is the older dogs and tries to get them to play with him. Laddie just stands there looking at me while the puppy is jumping on him with a look on his face that says "could you please do something about this?" Blondie will just growl at him and Sid will back up. Skip just runs away. Pretty funny to watch the dynamics between the old dogs and the puppy. We took Sid out to the barn yesterday for the first time. He was so scared of all the new stuff. I am hoping that I can train him to be my barn buddy as he grows.
OK keeping all my fingers and toes

for SCG and me today! We entered the lottery to see if we could win a chance at day passes to the Wave in April. Sooooooooooooooo hoping one of our entries gets picked!

That is great news about your Dog!

For those like me that had no idea what the Wave was, It is a park: http://www.blm.gov/az/st/en/arolrsmain/paria/coyote_buttes/permits.html

 

[dsqard]

Well no joy on the lottery. We are going to try again for May.

 

[Wisher1000]

Wishing (there I go again) all of you, my friends, a prosperous and contented 2013!