The Old Folks Home

[vehve]

SCG, nice work.

 

[dsqard]

SCG I have to agree with you. My upbringing was similar to yours. Lots of screaming, lots of crazy but in the end it did make me who I am. It took me years to figure out that no one's childhood was "normal" if you defined normal by the Brady Bunch (that was the yardstick I was using). Everyone picks up baggage along the way. Some pick up more or heavier baggage but no one makes it out of life without any. If you take away the things that hurt the most as you were growing up, how does that change who you are today? I would rather deal with the memories of what happened and be who I am than take away those things and be weaker in determination, conviction or my sense of fairness. Those things have carried me through the even tougher things I had to face as an adult. I am pretty happy with who I am and where I hope to go as I keep moving through life so you just take the old stuff, learn from it and put it away. You can't change it anyway, might as well turn it into a strength.

 

[Peep_Show]

The unfortunate thing about less-than-ideal parenting is that we tend to choose mates in the patterns we're most familiar with. Whether we do it subconsciously or because we're aiming for a do-over, it can have unhealthy consequences. It's why some folks end up with multiple divorces or are unable to sustain a relationship.

It takes a lot of introspection and painful honesty to purge the toxicity from your life to build a better tomorrow.

 

[chickadoodles]

Quote: Your Irish quilt is beautiful!

 

[Peep_Show]

I am in agreement that what happens to us builds character as to who we are. And, sure, I've taken many missteps -- some which I truly regret -- but my aim has always been "do no harm to others" and the damage of what I've instituted has been to myself, and I can live with that. Wish I could lay the same claim unto others in my family who regularly have resorted to treachery. (shudder)

In order to break the pattern, you have to break the mold. Which means actively seeking that which is different. When you come from a horrific situation, if you're open-minded, you can appreciate things so much more. We tend to take a lot of things, good and bad, for granted. But experiencing both ends of the bell curve lets you make better choices and have a better understanding of what you will and won't tolerate.

I think it was Maya Angelou who said so wisely "When someone shows you their true colors once believe them." Unfortunately for me it has taken the full three strikes before the boundaries are set and they're officially out....or at least maintained at a safe far distance for family.

 

[Peep_Show]

Isn't Valentine's Day before St. Patrick's Day? Where's that hearted quilt?

 

[Peep_Show]

Too early in the morning for so much therapy. Gotta find another cup of coffee.....

 

[tntchix]

I was once told, "you learn what you live" people get their parenting skills from their own experiences, good or bad. It took me a while to learn this.

My mom is the queen of Oh, really, you are getting rid of that ****** already? Must be nice to be rich.

She was so poor every penny she got was like gold. Dad spoiled us crazy and it's taken me a long time to make her see I don't waste as much as she thinks I do.
But no matter what she says, I know who I am.

 

[dsqard]

Peep, SCG has confided in me she is completely anti-VD so no heartsy quilts although I sent her a free pattern to use if she wanted.

 

[Peep_Show]

Didn't know